On a large canopied bed, sweating
and panting beneath the weight of numerous blankets,
lay the two-faced oracle — Tirauclair, of
the Prefecture — Tabaret, of the Rue Saint
Lazare. It was impossible to believe that the
owner of such a face, in which a look of stupidity
was mingled with one of perpetual astonishment, could
possess superior talent, or even an average amount
of intelligence. With his retreating forehead,
and his immense ears, his odious turned-up nose, tiny
eyes, and coarse, thick lips, M. Tabaret seemed an
excellent type of the ignorant, pennywise, petty rentier
class. Whenever he took his walks abroad, the
juvenile street Arabs would impudently shout after
him or try to mimic his favorite grimace. And
yet his ungainliness did not seem to worry him in
the least, while he appeared to take real pleasure
in increasing his appearance of stupidity, solacing
himself with the reflection that “he is not
really a genius who seems to be one.”
At the sight of the two detectives,
whom he knew very well, his eyes sparkled with pleasure.
“Good morning, Lecoq, my boy,” said he.
“Good morning, my old Absinthe. So you
think enough down there of poor Papa Tirauclair to
come and see him?”
“We need your advice, Monsieur Tabaret.”
“Ah, ah!”
“We have just been as completely
outwitted as if we were babies in long clothes.”
“What! was your man such a very cunning fellow?”
Lecoq heaved a sigh. “So
cunning,” he replied, “that, if I were
superstitious, I should say he was the devil himself.”
The sick man’s face wore a comical
expression of envy. “What! you have found
a treasure like that,” said he, “and you
complain! Why, it is a magnificent opportunity — a
chance to be proud of! You see, my boys, everything
has degenerated in these days. The race of great
criminals is dying out — those who’ve
succeeded the old stock are like counterfeit coins.
There’s scarcely anything left outside a crowd
of low offenders who are not worth the shoe leather
expended in pursuing them. It is enough to disgust
a detective, upon my word. No more trouble, emotion,
anxiety, or excitement. When a crime is committed
nowadays, the criminal is in jail the next morning,
you’ve only to take the omnibus, and go to the
culprit’s house and arrest him. He’s
always found, the more the pity. But what has
your fellow been up to?”
“He has killed three men.”
“Oh! oh! oh!” said old
Tabaret, in three different tones, plainly implying
that this criminal was evidently superior to others
of his species. “And where did this happen?”
“In a wine-shop near the barrière.”
“Oh, yes, I recollect:
a man named May. The murders were committed in
the Widow Chupin’s cabin. I saw the case
mentioned in the ’Gazette des Tribunaux,’
and your comrade, Fanferlot l’Ecureuil, who comes
to see me, told me you were strangely puzzled about
the prisoner’s identity. So you are charged
with investigating the affair? So much the better.
Tell me all about it, and I will assist you as well
as I can.”
Suddenly checking himself, and lowering
his voice, Tirauclair added: “But first
of all, just do me the favor to get up. Now, wait
a moment, and when I motion you, open that door there,
on the left, very suddenly. Mariette, my housekeeper,
who is curiosity incarnate, is standing there listening.
I hear her hair rubbing against the lock. Now!”
The young detective immediately obeyed,
and Mariette, caught in the act, hastened away, pursued
by her master’s sarcasms. “You might
have known that you couldn’t succeed at that!”
he shouted after her.
Although Lecoq and Father Absinthe
were much nearer the door than old Tirauclair, neither
of them had heard the slightest sound; and they looked
at each other in astonishment, wondering whether their
host had been playing a little farce for their benefit,
or whether his sense of hearing was really so acute
as this incident would seem to indicate.
“Now,” said Tabaret, settling
himself more comfortably upon his pillows — “now
I will listen to you, my boy. Mariette will not
come back again.”
On his way to Tabaret’s, Lecoq
had busied himself in preparing his story; and it
was in the clearest possible manner that he related
all the particulars, from the moment when Gevrol opened
the door of the Poivrière to the instant when
May leaped over the garden wall in the rear of the
Hotel de Sairmeuse.
While the young detective was telling
his story, old Tabaret seemed completely transformed.
His gout was entirely forgotten. According to
the different phases of the recital, he either turned
and twisted on his bed, uttering little cries of delight
or disappointment, or else lay motionless, plunged
in the same kind of ecstatic reverie which enthusiastic
admirers of classical music yield themselves up to
while listening to one of the great Beethoven’s
divine sonatas.
“If I had been there! If
only I had been there!” he murmured regretfully
every now and then through his set teeth, though when
Lecoq’s story was finished, enthusiasm seemed
decidedly to have gained the upper hand. “It
is beautiful! it is grand!” he exclaimed.
“And with just that one phrase: ‘It
is the Prussians who are coming,’ for a starting
point! Lecoq, my boy, I must say that you have
conducted this affair like an angel!”
“Don’t you mean to say
like a fool?” asked the discouraged detective.
“No, my friend, certainly not.
You have rejoiced my old heart. I can die; I
shall have a successor. Ah! that Gevrol who betrayed
you — for he did betray you, there’s
no doubt about it — that obtuse, obstinate
‘General’ is not worthy to blacken your
shoes!”
“You overpower me, Monsieur
Tabaret!” interrupted Lecoq, as yet uncertain
whether his host was poking fun at him or not.
“But it is none the less true that May has disappeared,
and I have lost my reputation before I had begun to
make it.”
“Don’t be in such a hurry
to reject my compliments,” replied old Tabaret,
with a horrible grimace. “I say that you
have conducted this investigation very well; but it
could have been done much better, very much better.
You have a talent for your work, that’s evident;
but you lack experience; you become elated by a trifling
advantage, or discouraged by a mere nothing; you fail,
and yet persist in holding fast to a fixed idea, as
a moth flutters about a candle. Then, you are
young. But never mind that, it’s a fault
you will outgrow only too soon. And now, to speak
frankly, I must tell you that you have made a great
many blunders.”
Lecoq hung his head like a schoolboy
receiving a reprimand from his teacher. After
all was he not a scholar, and was not this old man
his master?
“I will now enumerate your mistakes,”
continued old Tabaret, “and I will show you
how, on at least three occasions, you allowed an opportunity
for solving this mystery to escape you.”
“But — ”
“Pooh! pooh! my boy, let me
talk a little while now. What axiom did you start
with? You said: ’Always distrust appearances;
believe precisely the contrary of what appears true,
or even probable.’”
“Yes, that is exactly what I said to myself.”
“And it was a very wise conclusion.
With that idea in your lantern to light your path,
you ought to have gone straight to the truth.
But you are young, as I said before; and the very
first circumstance you find that seems at all probable
you quite forget the rule which, as you yourself admit,
should have governed your conduct. As soon as
you meet a fact that seems even more than probable,
you swallow it as eagerly as a gudgeon swallows an
angler’s bait.”
This comparison could but pique the
young detective. “I don’t think I’ve
been so simple as that,” protested he.
“Bah! What did you think,
then, when you heard that M. d’Escorval had
broken his leg in getting out of his carriage?”
“Believe! I believed what
they told me, because — ” He paused,
and Tirauclair burst into a hearty fit of laughter.
“You believed it,” he
said, “because it was a very plausible story.”
“What would you have believed had you been in
my place?”
“Exactly the opposite of what
they told me. I might have been mistaken; but
it would be the logical conclusion as my first course
of reasoning.”
This conclusion was so bold that Lecoq
was disconcerted. “What!” he exclaimed;
“do you suppose that M. d’Escorval’s
fall was only a fiction? that he didn’t break
his leg?”
Old Tabaret’s face suddenly
assumed a serious expression. “I don’t
suppose it,” he replied; “I’m sure
of it.”