He did not speak in answer to her
exclamation, merely stood there looking at her, almost
as if he had never seen her before. His eyes
were keen with a sort of icy fierceness. She
thought she had never before realized the cruelty
of his mouth.
It was she who spoke first.
The silence seemed so impossible. “Burke!”
she said. “What-is the matter?”
He came forward to her with an abruptness
that was like the breaking of bonds. He stopped
in front of her, looking closely into her face.
“What are you doing here?” he said.
In spite of herself she shrank, so
terrible was his look. But she was swift to
master her weakness. She stood up to her full
height, facing him. “I have come to find
Guy,” she said.
He threw a glance around; it was like
the sweep of a rapier. “You are waiting
for him-here?”
Again for a moment she was disconcerted.
She felt the quick blood rise to her forehead.
“They told me he would come here,” she
said.
He passed on, almost as if she had
not spoken, but his eyes were mercilessly upon her,
marking her confusion. “What do you want
with him?”
His words were like the snap of a
steel rope. They made her flinch by their very
ruthlessness. She had sprung from sleep with
bewildered senses. She was not-prepared to do
battle in her own defence.
She hesitated, and immediately his
hand closed upon her shoulder. It seemed to her
that she had never known what anger could be like
before this moment. All the force of the man
seemed to be gathered together in one tremendous wave,
menacing her.
“Tell me what you want with him!” he said.
She shuddered from head to foot as
if she had been struck with a scourge. “Burke!
What do you mean?” she cried out desperately.
“You-you must be mad!”
“Answer me!” he said.
His hold was a grip. The ice
in his eyes had turned to flame. Her heart leapt
and quivered within her like a wild thing fighting
to escape.
“I-don’t know
what you mean,” she panted. “I have
done nothing wrong. I came after him to-to
try and bring him back.”
“Then why did you come secretly?” he said,
She shrank from the intolerable inquisition
of his eyes. “I wanted to see him-alone,”
she said.
“Why?” Again it was like
the merciless cut of a scourge. She caught her
breath with a sharp sound that was almost a cry.
“Why?” he reiterated. “Answer
me! Answer me!”
She did not answer him. She
could not. And in the silence that followed,
it seemed to her that something within her-something
that had been Vitally wounded-struggled
and died.
“Look at me!” he said.
She lifted an ashen face. His
eyes held hers, and the torture of his hell encompassed
her also.
“Tell me the truth!” he
said. “I shall know if you lie. When
did you see him last?”
She shook her head. “A
long while ago. Ages ago. Before you left
the farm.”
The memory of his going, his touch,
his smile went through her with the words. She
had a sickening sensation as of having been struck
over the heart.
“Where did you spend last night?” he said.
“At Ritzen.” Her
white lips seemed to speak mechanically. She
herself stood apart as it were, stunned beyond feeling.
“You came here by rail –alone?”
The voice of the inquisitor pierced
her numbed sensibilities, compelling-almost
dictating-her answer.
“Yes-alone.”
“You had arranged to meet here then?”
Still the scourging continued, and
she marvelled at herself, that she felt so little.
But feeling was coming back. She was waiting
for it, dreading it.
She answered without conscious effort.
“No-I came after him. He doesn’t
know I am here.”
“And yet you are posing as his wife?”
She felt that. It cut through
her apathy irresistibly. A sharp tremor went
through her. “That,” she said rather
breathlessly, “was a mistake.”
“It was.” said Burke.
“The greatest mistake of your life. It
is a pity you took the trouble to lie to me.
The truth would have served you better.”
He turned from her contemptuously with the words,
setting her free.
For a moment the relief of his going
was such that the intention that lay behind it did
not so much as occur to her. Then suddenly it
flashed upon her. He was going in search of Guy.
In an instant her passivity was gone.
The necessity for action drove her forward.
With a cry she sprang to the door before him, and
set herself against it. She could not let him
go with that look of the murderer in his eyes.
“Burke!” she gasped.
“Burke! What-are you going
to do?”
His lips parted a little, and she
saw his teeth. “You shall hear what I
have done-afterwards,” he said.
“Let me pass!”
But she barred his way. Her
numbed senses were all awake now and quivering.
The very fact of physical effort seemed to have restored
to her the power to suffer. She stood before
him, her bosom heaving with great sobs that brought
no tears or relief of any sort to the anguish that
tore her.
“You-you can’t
pass,” she said. “Not-not-like
this! Burke, listen! I swear to you-I
swear-
“You needn’t,” he
broke in. “A woman’s oath, when it
is her last resource, is quite valueless. I
will deal with you afterwards. Let me pass!”
The command was curt as a blow.
But still she withstood him, striving to still her
agitation, striving with all her desperate courage
to face him and endure.
“I will not!” she said,
and with the words she stood up to her full, slim
height, thwarting him, making her last stand.
His expression changed as he realized
her defiance. She was panting still, but there
was no sign of yielding in her attitude. She
was girt for resistance to the utmost.
There fell an awful pause-a
silence which only her rapid breathing disturbed.
Her eyes were fixed on his. She must have seen
the change, but she dared it unflinching. There
was no turning back for her now.
The man spoke at last, and his voice
was absolutely quiet, dead level. “You
had better let me go,” he said.
She made a sharp movement, for there
was that in the steel-cold voice that sent terror
to her heart. Was this Burke-the man
upon whose goodness she had leaned ever since she
had come to this land of strangers? Surely she
had never met him before that moment!
“Open that door!” he said.
A great tremor went through her.
She turned, the instinct to obey urging her.
But in the same instant the thought of Guy-Guy
in mortal danger-flashed across her.
She paused for a second, making a supreme effort,
while every impulse fought in mad tumult within her,
crying to her to yield. Then, with a lightning
twist of the hand she turned the key and pulled it
from the lock. For an instant she held it in
her hand, then with a half-strangled sound she thrust
it deep into her bosom.
Her eyes shone like flames in her
white face as she turned back to him. “Perhaps
you will believe me-now!” she said.
He took a single step forward and
caught, her by the wrists. “Woman!”
he said. “Do you know what you are doing?”
The passion that blazed in his look
appalled her. Yet some strange force within
her awoke as it were in answer to her need. She
flung fear aside. She had done the only thing
possible, and she would not look back.
“You must believe me-now!”
she panted. “You do believe me!”
His hold became a grip, merciless,
fierce, tightening upon her like a dosing trap.
“Why should I believe you?” he said, and
there was that in his voice that was harder to bear
than his look. “Have I any special reason
for believing you? Have you ever given me one?”
“You know me,” she said, with a sinking
heart.
He uttered a scoffing sound too bitter
to be called a laugh. “Do I know you?
Have I ever been as near to you as this devil who
has made himself notorious with Kaffir women for as
long as he has been out here?”
She flinched momentarily from the
stark cruelty of his words. But she faced him
still, faced him though every instinct of her womanhood
shrank with a dread unspeakable.
“You know me,” she said
again. “You may not know me very well,
but you know me well enough for that.”
It was bravely spoken, but as she
ceased to speak she felt her strength begin to fail
her. Her throat worked spasmodically, convulsively,
and a terrible tremor went through her. She saw
him as through a haze that blotted out all beside.
There fell a silence between them-a
dreadful, interminable silence that seemed to stretch
into eternities. And through it very strangely
she heard the wild beating of her own heart, like the
hoofs of a galloping horse, that seemed to die away.
. . .
She did not know whether she fell,
or whether he lifted her, but when the blinding mist
cleared away again, she was lying in the wicker-chair
by the window, and he was walking up and down the room
with the ceaseless motion of a prowling animal.
She sat up slowly and looked at him. She was
shivering all over, as if stricken with cold.
At her movement he came and stood
before her, but he did not speak. He seemed to
be watching her. Or was he waiting for something?
She could not tell; neither, as he
stood there, could she look up at him to see.
Only, after a moment, she leaned forward. She
found and held his hand.
“Burke!” she said.
His fingers closed as if they would
crush her own. He did not utter a word.
She waited for a space, gathering
her strength. Then, speaking almost under her
breath, she went on. “I have-something
to say to you. Please will you listen-till
I have finished?”
“Go on!” he said.
Her head was bent. She went
on tremulously. “You are quite right-when
you say-that you don’t know me-that
I have given you no reason-no good reason-to
believe in me. I have taken-a great
deal from you. And I have given-nothing
in return. I see that now. That is why
you distrust me. I-have only myself
to thank.”
She paused a moment, but he waited
in absolute silence, neither helping nor hindering.
With a painful effort she continued.
“People make mistaken-sometimes-without
knowing it. It comes to them afterwards-perhaps
too late. But-it isn’t too late
with me, Burke. I am your partner-your
wife. And-I never meant to-defraud
you. All I have-is yours. I-am
yours.”
She stopped. Her head was bowed
against his hand. That dreadful sobbing threatened
to overwhelm her again, but she fought it down.
She waited quivering for his answer.
But for many seconds Burke neither
moved nor spoke. The grasp of his hand was vicelike
in its rigidity. She had no key whatever to
what was passing in his mind.
Not till she had mastered herself
and was sitting in absolute stillness, did he stir.
Then, very quietly, with a decision that brooked
no resistance, he took her by the chin with his free
hand and turned her face up to his own. He looked
deep into her eyes. His own were no longer ablaze,
but a fitful light came and went in them like the
flare of a torch in the desert wind.
“So,” he said, and his
voice was curiously unsteady also; it vibrated as
if he were not wholly sure of himself, “you have
made your choice-and counted the cost?”
“Yes,” she said.
He looked with greater intentness
into her eyes, searching without mercy, as if he would
force his way to her very soul. “And for
whose sake this-sacrifice?” he said.
She shrank a little; for there was
something intolerable in his words. Had she
really counted the cost? Her eyelids fluttered
under that unsparing look, fluttered and sank.
“You will know-some day,”
she whispered.
“Ah! Some day!” he said.
Again his voice vibrated. It
was as if some door that led to his innermost being
had opened suddenly, releasing a savage, primitive
force which till then he had held restrained.
And in that moment it came to her
that the thing she valued most in life had been rudely
torn from her. She saw that new, most precious
gift of hers that had sprung to life in the wilderness
and which she had striven so desperately to shield
from harm-that holy thing which had become
dearer to her than life itself-desecrated,
broken, and lying in the dust. And it was Burke
who had flung it there, Burke who now ruthlessly trampled
it underfoot.
Her throat worked again painfully
for a moment or two; and then with a great effort
of the will she stilled it. This thing was beyond
tears-a cataclysm wrecking the whole structure
of existence. Neither tears nor laughter could
ever be hers again. In silence she took the cup
of bitterness, and drank it to the dregs.