He came in as lightly and unceremoniously
as though they had parted but the day before, a smile
of greeting upon his humorous, yellow face, words
of careless good-fellowship upon his lips.
He took her hand for an instant, and
she felt rather than saw that he gave her a single,
scrutinising glance from under eyelids that flickered
incessantly.
“I see you are better,”
he said, “so I won’t put you to the trouble
of saying so. I suppose dear Lady Bassett has
gone to the Vice-Regal garden-party. But it’s
all right. I told her I was coming. Did you
have to persuade her very hard to let you see me?”
Muriel stiffened a little at this
inquiry. Her agitation was rapidly subsiding.
It left her vaguely chilled, even disappointed.
She had forgotten how cheerily inconsequent Nick could
be.
“I didn’t persuade her
at all,” she said coldly. “I simply
told her that I should see you in order ”
“Yes?” queried Nick, looking delighted.
“In order ”
To her annoyance she felt herself
flushing. With a gesture of weariness she dismissed
the sentence and sat down. She had meant to make
him a brief and gracious speech of gratitude for his
past care of her, but somehow it stuck in her throat.
Besides, it was quite obvious that he did not expect
it.
He came and sat down beside her on
the sofa. “Let’s talk things over,”
he said. “You are out of the doctor’s
hands, I’m told.”
Muriel was leaning back against the
cushions. She did not raise her heavy eyes to
answer. “Oh, yes, ever so long ago.
I’m quite well, only rather tired still.”
She frowned slightly as she gave this
explanation. Though his face was not turned in
her direction, she had a feeling that he was still
closely observant of her.
He nodded to himself twice while he
listened and then suddenly he reached out and laid
his hand upon both of hers as they rested in her lap.
“I’m awfully pleased to hear you are quite
well,” he said, in a voice that seemed to crack
on a note of laughter. “It makes my business
all the easier. I’ve come to ask you, dear,
how soon you can possibly make it convenient to marry
me. To-day? To-morrow? Next week?
I don’t of course want to hurry you unduly, but
there doesn’t seem to be anything to wait for.
And personally I abhor waiting.
Don’t you?”
He turned towards her with the last
words. He had spoken very gently, but there seemed
to be an element of humour in all that he said.
Muriel’s eyes were wide open
by the time he ended. She was staring at him
in blank astonishment. The flush on her face had
deepened to crimson.
“Marry you?” she gasped
at length, stammering in her confusion. “I?
Why why whatever made you dream
of such a thing?”
“I’ll tell you,”
said Nick instantly, and quite undismayed. “I
dreamed that a certain friend of mine was lonely and
heart-sick and sad. And she wanted horribly some
one to come and take care of her, to cheer her up,
to lift her over the bad places, to give her things
which, if they couldn’t compensate for all she
had lost, would be anyhow a bit of a comfort to her.
And then I remembered how she belonged to me, how
she had been given to me by her own father to cherish
and care for. And so I plucked up courage to
intrude upon her while she was still wallowing in
her Slough of Despair. And I didn’t pester
her with preliminaries. We’re past that
stage, you and I, Muriel. I simply came to her
because it seemed absurd to wait any longer. And
I just asked her humble-like to fix a day when we
would get up very early, and bribe the padre and sweet
Lady Bassett to do likewise, and have a short very
short service all to ourselves at church,
and when it was over we would just say good-bye to
all kind friends and depart. Won’t you
give the matter your serious consideration? Believe
me, it is worth it.”
He still held her hand closely in
his while he poured out his rapid explanation, and
his eyebrows worked up and down so swiftly that Muriel
was fascinated by them. His eyes baffled her completely.
They were like a glancing flame. She listened
to his proposal with more of bewilderment than consternation.
It took her breath away without exactly frightening
her. The steady grasp of his hand and the exceedingly
practical tones of his voice kept her from unreasoning
panic; but she was too greatly astounded to respond
very promptly.
“Tell me what you think about it,” he
said gently.
But she was utterly at a loss to describe
her feelings. She shook her head and was silent.
After a little he went on, still quickly,
but with less impetuosity. “It isn’t
just a sudden fancy of mine this. Don’t
think it. There’s nothing capricious about
me. Your father knew about it. And because
he knew, he put you in my care. It was his sole
reason for trusting you to me. I had his full
approval.”
He paused, for her fingers had closed
suddenly within his own. She was looking at him
no longer. Her memory had flashed back to that
last terrible night of her father’s life.
Again she heard him telling her of the one man to
whom he had entrusted her, who would make it his sole
business to save her, who would protect her life with
his own, heard his speculative question as to whether
she knew whom he meant, recalled her own quick reply,
and his answer and his answer.
With a sudden sense of suffocation,
she freed her hand and rose. Once more her old
aversion to this man swept over her in a nauseating
wave. Once more there rose before her eyes the
dread vision which for many, many nights had haunted
her persistently, depriving her of all rest, all peace
of mind the vision of a man in his death-struggle,
fighting, agonising, under those merciless fingers.
It was more than she could bear.
She covered her eyes, striving to shut out the sight
that tortured her weary brain. “Oh, I don’t
know if I can!” she almost wailed. “I
don’t know if I can!”
Nick did not move. And yet it
seemed to her in those moments of reawakened horror
as if by some magnetic force he still held her fast.
She strove against it with all her frenzied strength,
but it eluded her, baffled her conquered
her.
When he spoke at length, she turned
and listened, lacking the motive-power to resist.
“There is nothing to frighten
you anyhow,” he said, and the tone in which
he said it was infinitely comforting, infinitely reassuring.
“I only want to take care of you; for you’re
a lonely little soul, not old enough, or wise enough
to look after yourself. And I’ll be awfully
good to you, Muriel, if you’ll have me.”
Something in those last words a
hint of pleading, of coaxing even found
its way to her heart, as it were, against her will.
Moreover, what he said was true. She was lonely:
miserably, unspeakably lonely. All her world
was in ashes around her, and there were times when
its desolation positively appalled her.
But still she stood irresolute.
Could she, dared she, take this step? What if
that phantom of horror pursued her relentlessly to
the day of her death? Would she not come in time
to shrink with positive loathing from this man whose
offer of help she now felt so strangely tempted in
her utter friendlessness to accept?
It was impossible to answer these
tormenting questions satisfactorily. But there
was nothing so she told herself to
be gained by waiting. She had no one to advise
her, no one really to mind what happened to her, with
the single exception of this friend of hers, who only
wanted to take care of her. And after all, since
misery was to be her portion, what did it matter?
Why should she refuse to listen to him? Had he
not shown her already that he could be kind?
A sudden warmth of gratitude towards
him stirred in her heart a tiny flame springing
up among the ashes of her youth. Her horror sank
away like an evil dream.
She turned round with a certain deliberation
that had grown upon her of late, and went back to
Nick still seated on the sofa.
“I don’t care much what
I do now,” she said wearily. “I will
marry you, if you wish it, if if you are
quite sure you will never wish you hadn’t.”
“Well done!” said Nick,
with instant approval. “That’s settled
then, for I was quite sure of that ages ago.”
He smiled at her quizzically, his
face a mask of banter. Of what his actual feelings
were at that moment she had not the faintest idea.
With a piteous little smile in answer
she laid her hand upon his knee. “You will
have to be very patient with me,” she said tremulously.
“For remember I have come to the
end of everything, and you are the only friend I have
left.”
He took her hand into his own again,
with a grasp that was warm and comforting. “My
dear,” he said very kindly, “I shall always
remember that you once told me so.”