Bosio felt that if he remained in
his room alone with the horror of his position, he
should go mad before night. He was weakly resolved
not to marry Veronica, but he knew and for the first
time dreaded the power Matilde had over his thoughts
as well as his actions. He felt that if he could
avoid her, he could still cling to the remnant of honour,
but that she would tear it from him if she could and
cast it to the winds. The whole card-house of
his ill-founded life was trembling under the breath
of fate, and its near fall seemed to threaten its existence.
He went out and walked slowly through
sunny, unfrequented places, high up in the city, trying
to shake off the chill of his fear as a man hopes
to rid himself of an ague by sitting in the sun.
But the chill was in his heart, and it was his soul
that shivered. He weakly wished that he were
wholly bad, that he might feel less.
Then, in true Italian humour, he tried
to think of something which might divert his thoughts
from the duty of facing their own terrible perplexity.
If it had been evening, he would have strolled into
the theatre; had it been already afternoon, he would
have had himself driven out along the public garden
towards Posilippo, to see the faces of his friends
go by. But it was morning. There was nothing
but the club, and he cared little for the men he might
meet there. There was nothing to do, and his
eyes did not help him to forget his troubles.
He wandered on through ways broad and narrow, climbing
up one steep lane and descending again by the next,
hardly aware of direction and not noticing whether
he went east or west, north or south, up or down.
At last, at a corner, he chanced to
read the name of a street. It was familiar enough
to him, as a Neapolitan, but just now it reminded him
of something which might possibly help to distract
his attention. He stopped and got out his pocket-book,
and found in it a card, glanced at the address on
it, and then once more at the name of the street.
Then he went on till he came to the right number,
entered a gloomy doorway, black with dampness and
foul air, ascended four flights of dark stone steps,
and stopped before a small brown door. The card
nailed upon it was like the one he had in his pocket-book.
The name was ’Giuditta Astarita,’ and
under it, in another character, was printed the word
‘Somnambulist.’
There was nothing at all unnatural
in the name or the profession, in Naples, where somnambulists
are plentiful enough. And the name itself was
a Neapolitan one, and by no means uncommon. The
card, however, was white and clean, which argued either
that Giuditta Astarita had not long been a professional
clairvoyante, or else that she had recently changed
her lodgings. Bosio knew nothing about her, except
that she had suddenly acquired an extraordinary reputation
as a seer, and that many people in society had lately
visited her, and had come away full of extraordinary
stories about her power. He rang the little tinkling
bell, which was answered by a very respectably dressed
woman servant with only one eye, a fact
which Bosio noticed because it was the blind side of
her face which first appeared as the door opened.
The Signora Giuditta Astarita was
at home, and there was no other visitor. Bosio,
without giving his name, was ushered into a small
sitting-room, of which the only window opened upon
a narrow court opposite a blank wall. The furniture
was scant and stiff, and such of it as was upholstered
was covered with a cheap cotton corded material of
a spurious wine colour. There were small square
antimacassars on the chairs, and two of them, side
by side, on the back of the sofa. The single
window had heavy curtains, now drawn aside, but evidently
capable of shutting out all light. A solid, square,
walnut table stood before the sofa, without any table-cloth,
and upon it were arranged half a dozen large books,
bound with a good deal of gilding, and which looked
as though they had never been opened.
Bosio was standing before the window,
looking out at the blank wall, when he heard some
one enter the room and softly close the door.
Giuditta Astarita came forward as he turned round.
He saw a heavy, phlegmatic woman,
still very young, though abnormally stout, with an
unhealthy face, thin black hair and large weak eyes
of a light china blue. Her lips were parted in
a sort of chronic sad smile, which showed uneven and
discoloured teeth. She wore a long trailing garment
of heavy black silk, not gathered to the figure at
the waist, but loose from the shoulders down, and
buttoned from throat to feet in front, with small
buttons, like a cassock. From one of the upper
buttonholes dangled a thin gold chain, supporting a
bunch of small charms against the evil eye, a little
coral horn, a tiny silver hunchback, a miniature gilt
bell, and two or three coins of gold and silver, besides
an Egyptian scarabée in a gold setting. The
woman remained standing before Bosio.
“You wish to consult me, Signore?”
she inquired, in a professional tone, through the
chronic smile, as it were. Her voice was very
hoarse.
Bosio bowed gravely, whereupon she
pointed to a chair for him, drew another into position
for herself, opposite his, and at some distance from
it, and then fumbled in the curtains for the cord that
pulled them.
“If you will sit down,”
she said, “I will darken the room.”
Bosio seated himself, and in a moment
the light was shut out as the heavy curtains ran together.
Then he heard the rustle of the woman’s silk
dress as she sat down opposite to him in the dark.
He felt unaccountably nervous, and her china blue
eyes had made a disagreeable impression upon him.
He expected something to happen.
“I see a name over your head,”
said a clear, bell-like voice, certainly not Giuditta
Astarita’s. “It is Veronica.”
Bosio started uneasily, though like
most Neapolitans, he had visited somnambulists more
than once.
“Who is speaking?” he asked quickly.
“It is the spirit,” said
the woman’s hoarse tones. “That is
his voice. Is there such a person as Veronica
in your life? Is it about her that you wish to
consult the spirits?”
“Yes,” said the spirit
voice, before Bosio could answer. “You are
afraid that they will murder her, if you do not marry
her or if she will not marry you.”
Bosio uttered a loud exclamation of
alarm and astonishment, for this was altogether beyond
anything in his experience.
“Is it so?” asked Giuditta Astarita.
“Yes. It is true,”
said Bosio, in uncertain tones. “And I wish
to know whether ” he stopped.
“Whether the grey-faced man
and the handsome woman whose eyes are near together
will really kill her?” asked the spirit voice.
Bosio felt his soft hair rising on
his head. “Do you know who I am?”
he asked nervously.
“No,” replied the voice
of Giuditta. “The spirits know everything,
but I do not. They only speak through me with
another voice. I do not know what they are going
to say. You need have no apprehension. This
is more sacred than the confessional, Signore, more
secret than the tomb.”
The phrase sounded as though it had
been carefully studied and often repeated, but the
dramatic tone in which it was uttered produced a certain
reassuring effect upon Bosio, in his half-frightened
state.
“Do you wish to tell whether
they will really kill Veronica?” inquired Giuditta.
“If you have any question to ask, you must put
it quickly. I cannot keep the spirits waiting.
They exhaust me when they are impatient.”
“What shall I do to avoid marrying
her?” asked Bosio, suddenly springing to the
main point of his doubts.
“The handsome woman whose eyes
are near together will make you marry Veronica,”
said the spirit voice.
“But if I refuse? If I
say that I will not? What then? Is her life
really in danger?”
“Yes. They wish to kill
her to get her money. The handsome woman has her
will leaving her everything if she dies.”
“But will they really kill her?”
insisted Bosio, half breathless in his fear and nervous
excitement.
The spirit voice did not answer.
In the silence Bosio heard Giuditta Astarita’s
breathing opposite to him.
“Will they really kill her?” he asked
again.
Still there was silence, and Bosio
held his breath. Then Giuditta spoke hoarsely.
“The spirit is gone,”
she said. “He will not answer any more questions
to-day.”
“Can you not call it back?”
asked Bosio, anxiously, and peering into the blackness
before him, as though hoping to see something.
“No. When he is gone he
never comes back for the same person. He answered
you many things, Signore. You must have patience.”
He heard her rise, and a moment later
the light dazzled him as he looked up and met her
china blue eyes. He was dazed as well as dazzled,
for there had been an extraordinary directness and
accuracy about the few questions and answers he had
heard in the clear voice which was so utterly unlike
Giuditta’s, though quite human and natural.
He was certain that he had not heard the door open
after she had drawn the curtains. He looked about
the scantily furnished room, in search of some corner
in which some third person might have been hidden.
Giuditta Astarita’s chronic smile was momentarily
intensified.
“There was no one else here,”
she said, answering his unspoken question. “You
heard the spirit’s voice through my ears.”
“How can that be?”
“I do not know. But what
the spirit says is true. You may rely upon it.
I do not know what it said, for when I return from
the trance state I remember nothing I have heard or
seen while I have been in it. If you wish to
ask more, you must have the kindness to come again.
It is very fatiguing to me. You can see that
I am not in good health. The hours are from ten
till three.”
The smile had subsided within its
usual limits, and the china blue eyes stared coldly.
She was evidently waiting to be paid.
“What do I owe you?” asked
Bosio, with a certain considerateness of tone, so
to say.
“It is twenty-five lire,”
answered Giuditta Astarita. “I have but
one price. Thank you,” she added, as he
laid the notes upon the polished walnut table.
“Do you wish a few of my cards? For your
friends, perhaps. I shall be grateful for your
patronage.”
“Thank you,” said Bosio,
taking his hat and going towards the door. “I
have one of your cards. It is enough. Good
morning.”
As he opened the door, he found the
one-eyed serving-woman in the passage, ready to show
him out. Instinctively he looked at the single
eye as he glanced at her face, and he was surprised
to notice that it was of the same uncommon china blue
colour as Giuditta’s own. The woman who
did duty as a servant to admit visitors was undoubtedly
Giuditta’s mother or elder sister, or some very
near relative. It would be natural enough, amongst
such people, as Bosio knew, but he wondered how many
more of the same family lived in the rooms beyond the
one in which he had received spirit-communications,
and whether Giuditta Astarita supported them all by
her extraordinary talents.
He descended the damp stone stairs
and passed out into the street again, dazed and disturbed
in mind. He had been to such people before, as
has been said, and he had generally seen or heard
something which had either interested or amused him.
He had never had such an experience as this.
He had never heard a voice of which he had been so
certain that it did not come from any one in the room,
and he had never found any somnambulist who had so
instantly grasped his most secret thoughts, without
the slightest assistance or leading word from himself.
Yet at the crucial test the question of
a certainty in the future, this one had stopped short
as all stopped, or failed in their predictions of what
was to come. He had been startled and almost frightened.
Like many Southern Italians, he was at once credulous
and sceptical a superstitious unbeliever,
if one may couple the two words into one expression.
His intelligence bade him deny what his temperament
inclined him to accept. Besides, on the present
occasion, no theory which he could form could account
for the woman’s knowledge of his life. She
had never seen him. He had no extraordinary peculiarity
by which she might have recognized him at first sight
from hearsay, nor was he in any way connected with
public affairs. He had come quite unexpectedly
and had not given his name, and the spirit, or whatever
it might be, had instantly told him of Veronica, of
her danger, of his brother and sister-in-law and of
the will. Moreover, the friends who had spoken
to him of Giuditta Astarita had told him similar tales
within a few days.
The spirit had said that the handsome
woman would make him marry Veronica. But what
had the silence meant, when he had asked more?
That was the question. Did it mean that the spirit
was unwilling to affirm that Veronica must die if
he refused to marry her? He passed his hand over
his eyes as he walked. This was the end of the
nineteenth century; he was in Naples, in the largest
city of an enlightened country. And yet, the
situation might have been taken from the times of the
Medici, of Paolo Giordano Orsini, of Beatrice
Cenci, of the Borgia. There was a frightful incongruity
between civilization and his life between
broad, flat, comfortable, every-day, police-regulated
civilization, and the hideous drama in which he was
suddenly a principal actor.
More than once he told himself that
he was mistaken and that such things could not possibly
be; that it was all a feverish dream and that he should
soon wake to see that there was a perfectly simple,
natural and undramatic solution before him. But
turn the facts as he would, he could not find that
easy way. If he refused to marry Veronica and
attempted to get legal protection for her, the inevitable
result would be the prosecution, conviction, and utter
ruin of his brother and of the woman he loved.
If he refused to marry Veronica and did nothing to
protect her, Matilde’s eyes had told him what
Matilde would do to escape public shame and open infamy.
If he married Veronica and saved his brother he
was still man enough to feel that he could not do that.
He could die. That was a possibility of which
he had thought. But would his death, which would
save him from committing the last and greatest baseness,
save Veronica? She would have one friend less
in the world, and she had not many.
With a half-childish smile on his
pale face, he wondered what such a man as Taquisara
would do, if he were so placed, and the Sicilian’s
manly face and bold eyes rose up contemptuously before
him. To such a depth as Bosio had already reached,
Taquisara could never have fallen. Bosio’s
instinct told him that.
If he had been able to find one friend
in all his acquaintance to whom he might turn and
ask advice, it would have been an infinite relief.
But such friends were rare, he knew, and he had never
made one. Pleasant acquaintances he had, by the
score and the hundred, in society, and amongst artists
and men of letters. But the life he had led had
shut out friendship. To have a friend would have
been to let some one into his life, and that would
have meant, sooner or later, the betrayal of the woman
he loved.
Yet, though he felt that Taquisara
was his enemy and not his friend, he had such sudden
confidence in the man’s honour and truth that
he was insanely impelled to go to him and tell him
all, and implore him to save Veronica at any cost,
no matter what, or to whom. Then of course, a
moment later, the thought seemed madness, and he only
felt that he was losing hold more quickly upon his
saner sense. His visit to the somnambulist, too,
had helped to unnerve him, and as he wandered through
the streets he forgot that it was time to eat, so that
physical faintness came upon him unawares and suddenly.
He did not wish to go home; for if
he did, the final decision would be thrust upon him
by Matilde, and he did not feel that he could face
another scene with her yet. When he found himself
near the Palazzo Macomer, he turned back, walking
slowly, and went towards the sea, till he came to
the vast Piazza San Ferdinando, beyond San Carlo.
He went into a cafe and sat down in a corner to drink
a cup of chocolate by way of luncheon. The seat
he had chosen was at the end of one of the long red
velvet divans close to a big window looking upon the
square. There were little marble tables in a
row, and at the one before that which Bosio chose,
a priest was seated, reading, with an empty cup before
him. He was evidently near-sighted, for he held
his newspaper so near his eyes that Bosio could not
have seen his face even had he thought of looking
at it. The priest had thrown back his heavy black
cloak after he had sat down, so that it fell in wide
folds upon the seat, on each side of him. His
hands, which held up the paper, while he seemed to
be searching for something in the columns, were thin
to emaciation, almost transparent, and very carefully
kept, a fact which might have argued that
he was not an ordinary, hard-working parish priest
of the people, even if his presence in a fashionable
cafe had not of itself made that seem improbable.
On the other hand, he wore heavy, coarse shoes; his
clothes, though well brushed, were visibly threadbare,
and his clean white stock was frayed at the edge and
almost worn out. He had taken off his three-cornered
hat, and his high peaked head was barely covered with
scanty silver-grey hair. When he dropped his paper
and looked about him for the waiter, evidently wishing
to pay for his coffee, he showed a face sufficiently
remarkable to deserve description. The prominent
feature was the enormous, beak-like nose the
nose of the fanatic which is not to be mistaken amongst
thousands, with its high, arching bridge, its wide,
sensitive nostrils, and its preternaturally sharp,
down-turning point. But the rest of the priest’s
face was not in keeping with what was most striking
in it. The forehead was not powerful, narrow,
prominent but rather, broad and imaginative.
The chin was round and not enough developed; the clean-shaven
lips had a singularly gentle expression, and the very
near-sighted blue eyes were not set deeply enough
to give strength to the look. The priest carried
his head somewhat bent and forward, in a sort of deprecating
way, which made his long nose seem longer, and his
short chin more retreating. The skull was unusually
high and peaked at the point where phrenologists place
the organ of veneration. The man himself was
tall and exceedingly thin, and looked as though he
fasted too often and too long. He was certainly
a very ugly man, judged according to the standards
of human beauty; and yet there was about him an air
of kindness and sincerity which had in it something
almost saintly, together with a very unmistakable individual
identity. He was one of those men whom one can
neither forget nor mistake when one has met them once.
Bosio did not notice him, being much absorbed by his
own thoughts. The waiter came to ask what he wished,
and was stopped on his way back by the priest, who
desired to pay for what he had taken. But Bosio
had turned to the window again, and sat looking out
and watching the people in the broad semicircular Piazza.
The priest, having paid his little
score, carefully folded his newspaper and put it into
the wide pocket of his cassock. Then he gathered
up the collar of his big cloak behind him, as he sat,
and began to edge his way out from behind the little
marble table. But the long folds had fallen far
on each side so far that Bosio had unawares
sat down upon the cloth, and as the priest tried to
get out, he felt the cloak being dragged from under
him. The priest stopped and turned, just as Bosio
rose with an apology on his lips, which became an exclamation
of surprise, as he began to speak.
“Don Teodoro!” he cried.
“You were next to me, and I did not see you!”
The priest’s eyelids contracted
to help his imperfect sight, and he smiled as he moved
nearer to Bosio.
“Bosio!” he exclaimed,
when he had recognized him. “I am almost
blind, but I was sure I knew your voice.”
“You are in Naples, and you
have not let me know it?” said Bosio, reproachfully
and interrogatively.
“I have not been in Naples two
hours, and have just left my bag at my usual quarters
with Don Matteo. Then I came here to get a cup
of coffee, and now I was going to you. Besides,
it is the tenth of December. You know that I
always come on the tenth every year, and stay until
the twentieth, in order to be back in Muro four days
before Christmas. But I am glad I have met you
here, for I should have missed you at the Palazzo.”
“Yes,” said Bosio, “I
am glad that we have met. Sit with me, now, while
I drink a cup of chocolate. Then we will do whatever
you wish.” He sat down again. “I
am glad you have come, Don Teodoro,” he added
thoughtfully. “I am very glad you have come.”
Don Teodoro produced a pair of silver
spectacles as he reseated himself, and proceeded to
settle them very carefully on his enormous nose.
Then he turned to Bosio, and looked at him.
“Have you been ill?” he
asked, after a careful scrutiny of the pallid, nervous
face.
“No.” Bosio looked
out of the window, avoiding the other’s gaze.
“I am nervous to-day. I slept badly; and
I have been walking, and have not breakfasted.
Oh! no I am not ill. I am never ill.
I have excellent health. And you?” He turned
to his companion again. “How are you?
Always the same?”
“Always the same,” answered
the priest. “I grow old, that is the only
change. After all, it is not a bad one, since
we must change in some way. It is better than
growing young better than growing young
again,” he repeated, shaking his head sadly.
“Since the payment must be made, it is better
that the day of reckoning should come nearer, year
by year.”
“For me it has come,”
said Bosio, in a low voice, and his chin sank upon
his breast, as he leaned back, clasping his hands before
him on the edge of the marble table. The priest
looked at him anxiously and in silence. The two
would certainly have met later in the day, or on the
morrow, and the accident of their meeting at the cafe
had only brought them together a few hours earlier.
For the hard-working country parish priest came yearly
to Naples for a few days before Christmas, as he had
said, and the first visit he made, after depositing
his slender luggage at the house of the ecclesiastic
with whom he always stopped, was to Bosio Macomer,
his old pupil.
In his loneliness, that morning, Bosio
had thought of Don Teodoro and had wished to see him.
It had occurred vaguely to him that the priest generally
made a visit to the city about that time of the year,
but he had never realized that Don Teodoro always
arrived on the same day, the tenth of December, and
had done so unfailingly for many years past.
Before he had been curate of the distant
village of Muro, which belonged to the Serra family,
Don Teodoro had been tutor to Bosio Macomer. He
had lived in Naples as a priest at large, a student,
and in those days, to some extent, a man of the world.
When Bosio was grown up, his tutor had remained his
friend the only really intimate friend he
had in the world, and a true and devoted one.
It was perhaps because he was too much attached to
Bosio that Matilde Macomer had induced him at last
to accept the parish in the mountains with the chaplaincy
of the ancestral castle of the Serra, an
office which was a total sinecure, as the family had
rarely gone thither to spend a few weeks, even in the
days of the late prince. Matilde hated the place
for its appalling gloominess and wild scenery, and
Veronica, to whom it now belonged, had never seen
it at all. It had the reputation of being haunted
by all manner of ghosts and goblins, and during the
first ten years following the Italian annexation of
Naples, the surrounding mountains had been infested
by outlaws and brigands. But Don Teodoro, as
curate and chaplain, received a considerable stipend
which enabled him to procure for himself books at
his pleasure, when he could bring himself to curtail
the daily and yearly charities in which he spent almost
all he received.
He was, indeed, a man torn between
two inclinations which almost amounted to passions, charity
and the love of learning, and their action
was so evenly balanced that it was a real pain to him
either to deny himself the book he coveted, or to
forfeit the pleasure of giving the money it would
cost to the poor. He had sometimes kept the last
note he had left at the end of the month for many
days, quite unable to decide whether he should send
it to Naples for a new volume, or buy clothes with
it for some half-clad child. So sincere was he
in both longings, that after he had disposed of the
money in one way or the other, he almost invariably
had an acute fit of self-reproach. His common
sense alone told him that when he had given away nine-tenths
of all he received, he had the right to spend the
other tenth upon such food for his mind as was almost
more indispensable to him than bread. But, besides
this, he had been engaged for twenty years upon a history
of the Church, in compiling which he believed he was
doing a work of the highest importance to mankind;
so that it appeared to him a duty to expend, from
time to time, a certain amount of money in order to
procure such books, old and new, as were necessary
for his studies. As a matter of fact, the seasons
themselves decided his conduct in these difficulties;
for in cold weather, or times of scarcity, his charity
outran his desire for books; whereas, in the warm weather,
and when there was plenty, and no pitiful starved
faces gathered about his door, he bought books, instead
of searching for the few who were still in need.
In his youth, Don Teodoro had travelled
much. He had accompanied a mission to Africa
at the beginning of his life, and had afterwards wandered
about Europe, being at that time, as yet, more studious
than charitable, and possessed of a small independence
left him by his father, who had been an officer in
the Neapolitan army in the old days. He had seen
many things and known many men of many nations, before
he had at last settled in Muro, in the little priest’s
house, under the shadow of the dismal castle, and
close to the church. There he lived now, all
the year round, excepting the ten days which he annually
spent in Naples. The little house was full of
books, and there was a big, old shaky press, containing
his manuscripts, the work of his whole life. He
had neither friends nor companions of his own class,
but he was beloved by all the people. Playing
on his name, Teodoro, in their dialect, they called
him, O prevete d’oro’ ’the
priest of gold.’ And many said that he
had performed miracles, when he had fasted in Lent.
This was practically Bosio Macomer’s
only intimate friend. For although the intimacy
had been interrupted for years, by circumstances, it
had never been checked by any action or word of either.
It is true that neither was, as a rule, in need of
friendship, nor desirous of cultivating it. Learning
and charity absorbed the priest’s whole life.
Bosio’s existence, of which Don Teodoro knew
in reality nothing, had moved in the vicious circle
of a single passion, which he could never acknowledge,
and which excluded, for common caution’s sake,
anything like intimacy with other men. But Bosio
had not ceased to look upon the priest as the best
man he had ever known, and in spite of his own errings,
he was still quite able to appreciate goodness in others;
and Don Teodoro had always remembered his pupil as
one of the few men to whom he had been accustomed
to speak freely of his hopes, and sympathies, and
aspirations, feeling sure of appreciation from a nature
at once refined and reticent, though itself hard to
understand. For Don Teodoro was, strange to say,
painfully sensitive to ridicule, though in all other
respects a singularly brave man, morally and physically.
As a child or as a boy, he had been laughed at by
his companions for his extraordinary nose and his
short sight; and he had never recovered from the childish
suffering thus inflicted upon him by thoughtless children.
The fear of being ridiculous had largely influenced
him through life, and had really contributed much
towards deciding him to accept the cure of the wild
mountain town.
Bosio’s almost solemn words,
as his chin fell upon his breast, and he clasped his
hands before him, suddenly recalled to the priest the
years they had spent together, the confidence there
had been between them, the interest he had once felt
in Bosio’s fortune, as an object once
daily familiar, and fresh once and not without beauty,
then long hidden for years, and coming suddenly to
sight again, moth-eaten, dusty, and all but destroyed,
is oddly painful to him who used it long ago, and then
sees it when it is fit only to be thrown away.
“You are suffering,” said
Don Teodoro, leaning forward upon the marble table
and peering through his silver-rimmed spectacles into
Bosio’s pale face, and gentle, exhausted eyes.
The priest’s nervous, emaciated
hand softly pressed the sleeve of the younger man’s
coat, and the fantastic features grew wonderfully gentle
and kind. It was the transformation that came
over them whenever any one was visibly poor, or starving,
or sorrowing, or hurt, the change which
a beautiful passion brings to the ugliest face in the
world.
Bosio smiled faintly as he saw it,
and a little hope was breathed into his heart, as
though somewhere, at some immeasurable distance, there
might be a possibility of salvation from the ruin and
wreck of his horrible life.
“Yes,” he said. “I
am suffering. It is a great suffering. I
do not think that I can live much longer.”
“Can I do nothing?” asked Don Teodoro.
Bosio still smiled, as a man smiles
in torture when one speaks to him of peace.
“If I believed that anything
could be done,” he said, “I should not
suffer as I do. I have lived a bad life, and the
time has come when I must pay the score. But
it is not my fault if things are as they are it
is not all my fault.”
The priest sighed, and looked away after a moment.
“We have all done some one great
wrong thing in our lives,” he said gently.
“The price may perhaps be paid to God in good,
as well as to man in pain.”