“His
heart
The lowliest duties on itself did lay.”
WORDSWORTH.
On that June evening when Mr. Farebrother
knew that he was to have the Lowick living, there
was joy in the old fashioned parlor, and even the
portraits of the great lawyers seemed to look on with
satisfaction. His mother left her tea and toast
untouched, but sat with her usual pretty primness,
only showing her emotion by that flush in the cheeks
and brightness in the eyes which give an old woman
a touching momentary identity with her far-off youthful
self, and saying decisively
“The greatest comfort, Camden,
is that you have deserved it.”
“When a man gets a good berth,
mother, half the deserving must come after,”
said the son, brimful of pleasure, and not trying to
conceal it. The gladness in his face was of
that active kind which seems to have energy enough
not only to flash outwardly, but to light up busy
vision within: one seemed to see thoughts, as
well as delight, in his glances.
“Now, aunt,” he went on,
rubbing his hands and looking at Miss Noble, who was
making tender little beaver-like noises, “There
shall be sugar-candy always on the table for you to
steal and give to the children, and you shall have
a great many new stockings to make presents of, and
you shall darn your own more than ever!”
Miss Noble nodded at her nephew with
a subdued half-frightened laugh, conscious of having
already dropped an additional lump of sugar into her
basket on the strength of the new preferment.
“As for you, Winny” the
Vicar went on “I shall make no difficulty
about your marrying any Lowick bachelor Mr.
Solomon Featherstone, for example, as soon as I find
you are in love with him.”
Miss Winifred, who had been looking
at her brother all the while and crying heartily,
which was her way of rejoicing, smiled through her
tears and said, “You must set me the example,
Cam: you must marry now.”
“With all my heart. But
who is in love with me? I am a seedy old fellow,”
said the Vicar, rising, pushing his chair away and
looking down at himself. “What do you
say, mother?”
“You are a handsome man, Camden:
though not so fine a figure of a man as your father,”
said the old lady.
“I wish you would marry Miss
Garth, brother,” said Miss Winifred. “She
would make us so lively at Lowick.”
“Very fine! You talk as
if young women were tied up to be chosen, like poultry
at market; as if I had only to ask and everybody would
have me,” said the Vicar, not caring to specify.
“We don’t want everybody,”
said Miss Winifred. “But you would
like Miss Garth, mother, shouldn’t you?”
“My son’s choice shall
be mine,” said Mrs. Farebrother, with majestic
discretion, “and a wife would be most welcome,
Camden. You will want your whist at home when
we go to Lowick, and Henrietta Noble never was a whist-player.”
(Mrs. Farebrother always called her tiny old sister
by that magnificent name.)
“I shall do without whist now, mother.”
“Why so, Camden? In my
time whist was thought an undeniable amusement for
a good churchman,” said Mrs. Farebrother, innocent
of the meaning that whist had for her son, and speaking
rather sharply, as at some dangerous countenancing
of new doctrine.
“I shall be too busy for whist;
I shall have two parishes,” said the Vicar,
preferring not to discuss the virtues of that game.
He had already said to Dorothea, “I
don’t feel bound to give up St. Botolph’s.
It is protest enough against the pluralism they want
to reform if I give somebody else most of the money.
The stronger thing is not to give up power, but to
use it well.”
“I have thought of that,”
said Dorothea. “So far as self is concerned,
I think it would be easier to give up power and money
than to keep them. It seems very unfitting that
I should have this patronage, yet I felt that I ought
not to let it be used by some one else instead of me.”
“It is I who am bound to act
so that you will not regret your power,” said
Mr. Farebrother.
His was one of the natures in which
conscience gets the more active when the yoke of life
ceases to gall them. He made no display of humility
on the subject, but in his heart he felt rather ashamed
that his conduct had shown laches which others who
did not get bénéfices were free from.
“I used often to wish I had
been something else than a clergyman,” he said
to Lydgate, “but perhaps it will be better to
try and make as good a clergyman out of myself as
I can. That is the well-beneficed point of view,
you perceive, from which difficulties are much simplified,”
he ended, smiling.
The Vicar did feel then as if his
share of duties would be easy. But Duty has
a trick of behaving unexpectedly something
like a heavy friend whom we have amiably asked to
visit us, and who breaks his leg within our gates.
Hardly a week later, Duty presented
itself in his study under the disguise of Fred Vincy,
now returned from Omnibus College with his bachelor’s
degree.
“I am ashamed to trouble you,
Mr. Farebrother,” said Fred, whose fair open
face was propitiating, “but you are the only
friend I can consult. I told you everything once
before, and you were so good that I can’t help
coming to you again.”
“Sit down, Fred, I’m ready
to hear and do anything I can,” said the Vicar,
who was busy packing some small objects for removal,
and went on with his work.
“I wanted to tell you ”
Fred hesitated an instant and then went on plungingly,
“I might go into the Church now; and really,
look where I may, I can’t see anything else
to do. I don’t like it, but I know it’s
uncommonly hard on my father to say so, after he has
spent a good deal of money in educating me for it.”
Fred paused again an instant, and then repeated, “and
I can’t see anything else to do.”
“I did talk to your father about
it, Fred, but I made little way with him. He
said it was too late. But you have got over one
bridge now: what are your other difficulties?”
“Merely that I don’t like
it. I don’t like divinity, and preaching,
and feeling obliged to look serious. I like riding
across country, and doing as other men do. I
don’t mean that I want to be a bad fellow in
any way; but I’ve no taste for the sort of thing
people expect of a clergyman. And yet what else
am I to do? My father can’t spare me any
capital, else I might go into farming. And he
has no room for me in his trade. And of course
I can’t begin to study for law or physic now,
when my father wants me to earn something. It’s
all very well to say I’m wrong to go into the
Church; but those who say so might as well tell me
to go into the backwoods.”
Fred’s voice had taken a tone
of grumbling remonstrance, and Mr. Farebrother might
have been inclined to smile if his mind had not been
too busy in imagining more than Fred told him.
“Have you any difficulties about
doctrines about the Articles?” he
said, trying hard to think of the question simply for
Fred’s sake.
“No; I suppose the Articles
are right. I am not prepared with any arguments
to disprove them, and much better, cleverer fellows
than I am go in for them entirely. I think it
would be rather ridiculous in me to urge scruples
of that sort, as if I were a judge,” said Fred,
quite simply.
“I suppose, then, it has occurred
to you that you might be a fair parish priest without
being much of a divine?”
“Of course, if I am obliged
to be a clergyman, I shall try and do my duty, though
I mayn’t like it. Do you think any body
ought to blame me?”
“For going into the Church under
the circumstances? That depends on your conscience,
Fred how far you have counted the cost,
and seen what your position will require of you.
I can only tell you about myself, that I have always
been too lax, and have been uneasy in consequence.”
“But there is another hindrance,”
said Fred, coloring. “I did not tell you
before, though perhaps I may have said things that
made you guess it. There is somebody I am very
fond of: I have loved her ever since we were
children.”
“Miss Garth, I suppose?”
said the Vicar, examining some labels very closely.
“Yes. I shouldn’t
mind anything if she would have me. And I know
I could be a good fellow then.”
“And you think she returns the feeling?”
“She never will say so; and
a good while ago she made me promise not to speak
to her about it again. And she has set her mind
especially against my being a clergyman; I know that.
But I can’t give her up. I do think she
cares about me. I saw Mrs. Garth last night,
and she said that Mary was staying at Lowick Rectory
with Miss Farebrother.”
“Yes, she is very kindly helping
my sister. Do you wish to go there?”
“No, I want to ask a great favor
of you. I am ashamed to bother you in this way;
but Mary might listen to what you said, if you mentioned
the subject to her I mean about my going
into the Church.”
“That is rather a delicate task,
my dear Fred. I shall have to presuppose your attachment
to her; and to enter on the subject as you wish me
to do, will be asking her to tell me whether she returns
it.”
“That is what I want her to
tell you,” said Fred, bluntly. “I
don’t know what to do, unless I can get at her
feeling.”
“You mean that you would be
guided by that as to your going into the Church?”
“If Mary said she would never
have me I might as well go wrong in one way as another.”
“That is nonsense, Fred. Men
outlive their love, but they don’t outlive the
consequences of their recklessness.”
“Not my sort of love: I
have never been without loving Mary. If I had
to give her up, it would be like beginning to live
on wooden legs.”
“Will she not be hurt at my intrusion?”
“No, I feel sure she will not.
She respects you more than any one, and she would
not put you off with fun as she does me. Of course
I could not have told any one else, or asked any one
else to speak to her, but you. There is no one
else who could be such a friend to both of us.”
Fred paused a moment, and then said, rather complainingly,
“And she ought to acknowledge that I have worked
in order to pass. She ought to believe that
I would exert myself for her sake.”
There was a moment’s silence
before Mr. Farebrother laid down his work, and putting
out his hand to Fred said
“Very well, my boy. I will do what you
wish.”
That very day Mr. Farebrother went
to Lowick parsonage on the nag which he had just set
up. “Decidedly I am an old stalk,”
he thought, “the young growths are pushing me
aside.”
He found Mary in the garden gathering
roses and sprinkling the petals on a sheet.
The sun was low, and tall trees sent their shadows
across the grassy walks where Mary was moving without
bonnet or parasol. She did not observe Mr. Farebrother’s
approach along the grass, and had just stooped down
to lecture a small black-and-tan terrier, which would
persist in walking on the sheet and smelling at the
rose-leaves as Mary sprinkled them. She took
his fore-paws in one hand, and lifted up the forefinger
of the other, while the dog wrinkled his brows and
looked embarrassed. “Fly, Fly, I am ashamed
of you,” Mary was saying in a grave contralto.
“This is not becoming in a sensible dog; anybody
would think you were a silly young gentleman.”
“You are unmerciful to young
gentlemen, Miss Garth,” said the Vicar, within
two yards of her.
Mary started up and blushed.
“It always answers to reason with Fly,”
she said, laughingly.
“But not with young gentlemen?”
“Oh, with some, I suppose; since some of them
turn into excellent men.”
“I am glad of that admission,
because I want at this very moment to interest you
in a young gentleman.”
“Not a silly one, I hope,”
said Mary, beginning to pluck the roses again, and
feeling her heart beat uncomfortably.
“No; though perhaps wisdom is
not his strong point, but rather affection and sincerity.
However, wisdom lies more in those two qualities
than people are apt to imagine. I hope you know
by those marks what young gentleman I mean.”
“Yes, I think I do,” said
Mary, bravely, her face getting more serious, and
her hands cold; “it must be Fred Vincy.”
“He has asked me to consult
you about his going into the Church. I hope
you will not think that I consented to take a liberty
in promising to do so.”
“On the contrary, Mr. Farebrother,”
said Mary, giving up the roses, and folding her arms,
but unable to look up, “whenever you have anything
to say to me I feel honored.”
“But before I enter on that
question, let me just touch a point on which your
father took me into confidence; by the way, it was
that very evening on which I once before fulfilled
a mission from Fred, just after he had gone to college.
Mr. Garth told me what happened on the night of Featherstone’s
death how you refused to burn the will;
and he said that you had some heart-prickings on that
subject, because you had been the innocent means of
hindering Fred from getting his ten thousand pounds.
I have kept that in mind, and I have heard something
that may relieve you on that score may
show you that no sin-offering is demanded from you
there.”
Mr. Farebrother paused a moment and
looked at Mary. He meant to give Fred his full
advantage, but it would be well, he thought, to clear
her mind of any superstitions, such as women sometimes
follow when they do a man the wrong of marrying him
as an act of atonement. Mary’s cheeks
had begun to burn a little, and she was mute.
“I mean, that your action made
no real difference to Fred’s lot. I find
that the first will would not have been legally good
after the burning of the last; it would not have stood
if it had been disputed, and you may be sure it would
have been disputed. So, on that score, you may
feel your mind free.”
“Thank you, Mr. Farebrother,”
said Mary, earnestly. “I am grateful to
you for remembering my feelings.”
“Well, now I may go on.
Fred, you know, has taken his degree. He has
worked his way so far, and now the question is, what
is he to do? That question is so difficult that
he is inclined to follow his father’s wishes
and enter the Church, though you know better than I
do that he was quite set against that formerly.
I have questioned him on the subject, and I confess
I see no insuperable objection to his being a clergyman,
as things go. He says that he could turn his
mind to doing his best in that vocation, on one condition.
If that condition were fulfilled I would do my utmost
in helping Fred on. After a time not,
of course, at first he might be with me
as my curate, and he would have so much to do that
his stipend would be nearly what I used to get as
vicar. But I repeat that there is a condition
without which all this good cannot come to pass.
He has opened his heart to me, Miss Garth, and asked
me to plead for him. The condition lies entirely
in your feeling.”
Mary looked so much moved, that he
said after a moment, “Let us walk a little;”
and when they were walking he added, “To speak
quite plainly, Fred will not take any course which
would lessen the chance that you would consent to
be his wife; but with that prospect, he will try his
best at anything you approve.”
“I cannot possibly say that
I will ever be his wife, Mr. Farebrother: but
I certainly never will be his wife if he becomes a
clergyman. What you say is most generous and
kind; I don’t mean for a moment to correct your
judgment. It is only that I have my girlish,
mocking way of looking at things,” said Mary,
with a returning sparkle of playfulness in her answer
which only made its modesty more charming.
“He wishes me to report exactly
what you think,” said Mr. Farebrother.
“I could not love a man who
is ridiculous,” said Mary, not choosing to go
deeper. “Fred has sense and knowledge enough
to make him respectable, if he likes, in some good
worldly business, but I can never imagine him preaching
and exhorting, and pronouncing blessings, and praying
by the sick, without feeling as if I were looking at
a caricature. His being a clergyman would be
only for gentility’s sake, and I think there
is nothing more contemptible than such imbecile gentility.
I used to think that of Mr. Crowse, with his empty
face and neat umbrella, and mincing little speeches.
What right have such men to represent Christianity as
if it were an institution for getting up idiots genteelly as
if ” Mary checked herself. She
had been carried along as if she had been speaking
to Fred instead of Mr. Farebrother.
“Young women are severe:
they don’t feel the stress of action as men
do, though perhaps I ought to make you an exception
there. But you don’t put Fred Vincy on
so low a level as that?”
“No, indeed, he has plenty of
sense, but I think he would not show it as a clergyman.
He would be a piece of professional affectation.”
“Then the answer is quite decided.
As a clergyman he could have no hope?”
Mary shook her head.
“But if he braved all the difficulties
of getting his bread in some other way will
you give him the support of hope? May he count
on winning you?”
“I think Fred ought not to need
telling again what I have already said to him,”
Mary answered, with a slight resentment in her manner.
“I mean that he ought not to put such questions
until he has done something worthy, instead of saying
that he could do it.”
Mr. Farebrother was silent for a minute
or more, and then, as they turned and paused under
the shadow of a maple at the end of a grassy walk,
said, “I understand that you resist any attempt
to fetter you, but either your feeling for Fred Vincy
excludes your entertaining another attachment, or
it does not: either he may count on your remaining
single until he shall have earned your hand, or he
may in any case be disappointed. Pardon me,
Mary you know I used to catechise you under
that name but when the state of a woman’s
affections touches the happiness of another life of
more lives than one I think it would be
the nobler course for her to be perfectly direct and
open.”
Mary in her turn was silent, wondering
not at Mr. Farebrother’s manner but at his tone,
which had a grave restrained emotion in it. When
the strange idea flashed across her that his words
had reference to himself, she was incredulous, and
ashamed of entertaining it. She had never thought
that any man could love her except Fred, who had espoused
her with the umbrella ring, when she wore socks and
little strapped shoes; still less that she could be
of any importance to Mr. Farebrother, the cleverest
man in her narrow circle. She had only time
to feel that all this was hazy and perhaps illusory;
but one thing was clear and determined her
answer.
“Since you think it my duty,
Mr. Farebrother, I will tell you that I have too strong
a feeling for Fred to give him up for any one else.
I should never be quite happy if I thought he was
unhappy for the loss of me. It has taken such
deep root in me my gratitude to him for
always loving me best, and minding so much if I hurt
myself, from the time when we were very little.
I cannot imagine any new feeling coming to make that
weaker. I should like better than anything to
see him worthy of every one’s respect.
But please tell him I will not promise to marry him
till then: I should shame and grieve my father
and mother. He is free to choose some one else.”
“Then I have fulfilled my commission
thoroughly,” said Mr. Farebrother, putting out
his hand to Mary, “and I shall ride back to Middlemarch
forthwith. With this prospect before him, we
shall get Fred into the right niche somehow, and I
hope I shall live to join your hands. God bless
you!”
“Oh, please stay, and let me
give you some tea,” said Mary. Her eyes
filled with tears, for something indefinable, something
like the resolute suppression of a pain in Mr. Farebrother’s
manner, made her feel suddenly miserable, as she had
once felt when she saw her father’s hands trembling
in a moment of trouble.
“No, my dear, no. I must get back.”
In three minutes the Vicar was on
horseback again, having gone magnanimously through
a duty much harder than the renunciation of whist,
or even than the writing of penitential meditations.