HOMEWARD AND HOME AGAIN

The room was in flames, Baroness Turckems plucking at the bell-rope, my father looking big and brilliant.

‘Hold hand!’ he shouted to the frenzied baroness.

She counter-shouted; both of them stamped feet; the portico sentinel struck the butt of his musket on the hall-doors; bell answered bell along the upper galleries.

‘Foolish woman, be silent!’ cried my father.

‘Incendiary!’ she half-shrieked.

He turned to the princess, begging her to retire, but she stared at him, and I too, after having seen him deliberately apply the flame of her lamp to the curtains, deemed him mad.  He was perfectly self-possessed, and said, ‘This will explain the bell!’ and fetched a deep breath, and again urged the princess to retire.

Peterborough was the only one present who bethought him of doing fireman’s duty.  The risk looked greater than it was.  He had but to tear the lighted curtains down and trample on them.  Suddenly the baroness called out, ’The man is right!  Come with me, princess; escape, your Highness, escape!  And you,’ she addressed me ­’you rang the bell, you!’

‘To repair your error, baroness,’ said my father.

‘I have my conscience pure; have you?’ she retorted.

He bowed and said, ’The fire will also excuse your presence on the spot, baroness.’

‘I thank my God I am not so cool as you,’ said she.

‘Your warmth’ ­he bent to her ­’shall always be your apology, baroness.’

Seeing the curtains extinguished, Ottilia withdrew.  She gave me no glance.

All this occurred before the night-porter, who was going his rounds, could reach the library.  Lacqueys and maids were soon at his heels.  My father met Prince Ernest with a florid story of a reckless student, either asleep or too anxious to secure a particular volume, and showed his usual consideration by not asking me to verify the narrative.  With that, and with high praise of Peterborough, as to whose gallantry I heard him deliver a very circumstantial account, he, I suppose, satisfied the prince’s curiosity, and appeased him, the damage being small compared with the uproar.  Prince Ernest questioned two or three times, ‘What set him ringing so furiously?’ My father made some reply.

Ottilia’s cloud-pale windows were the sole greeting I had from her on my departure early next morning, far wretcheder than if I had encountered a misfortune.  It was impossible for me to deny that my father had shielded the princess:  she would never have run for a menace.  As he remarked, the ringing of the bell would not of itself have forced her to retreat, and the nature of the baroness’s alarm demanded nothing less than a conflagration to account for it to the household.  But I felt humiliated on Ottilia’s behalf, and enraged on my own.  And I had, I must confess, a touch of fear of a man who could unhesitatingly go to extremities, as he had done, by summoning fire to the rescue.  He assured me that moments such as those inspired him and were the pride of his life, and he was convinced that, upon reflection, ‘I should rise to his pitch.’  He deluded himself with the idea of his having foiled Baroness Turckems, nor did I choose to contest it, though it struck me that she was too conclusively the foiler.  She must have intercepted the letter for the princess.  I remembered acting carelessly in handing it to my father for him to consign it to one of the domestics, and he passed it on with a flourish.  Her place of concealment was singularly well selected under the sofa-cover, and the little heaps of paper-bound volumes.  I do not fancy she meant to rouse the household; her notion probably was to terrorize the princess, that she might compel her to quit my presence.  In rushing to the bell-rope, her impetuosity sent her stumbling on it with force, and while threatening to ring, and meaning merely to threaten, she rang; and as it was not a retractable act, she continued ringing, and the more violently upon my father’s appearance.  Catching sight of Peterborough at his heels, she screamed a word equivalent to a clergyman.  She had lost her discretion, but not her wits.

For any one save a lover ­thwarted as I was, and perturbed by the shadow falling on the princess ­my father’s Aplomb and promptness in conjuring a check to what he assumed to be a premeditated piece of villany on the part of Baroness Turckems, might have seemed tolerably worthy of admiration.  Me the whole scene affected as if it had burnt my skin.  I loathed that picture of him, constantly present to me, of his shivering the glass of Ottilia’s semi-classical night-lamp, gravely asking her pardon, and stretching the flame to the curtain, with large eyes blazing on the baroness.  The stupid burlesque majesty of it was unendurable to thought.  Nevertheless, I had to thank him for shielding Ottilia, and I had to brood on the fact that I had drawn her into a situation requiring such a shield.  He, meanwhile, according to his habit, was engaged in reviewing the triumphs to come.  ‘We have won a princess!’ And what England would say, how England would look, when, on a further journey, I brought my princess home, entirely occupied his imagination, to my excessive torture ­a state of mind for which it was impossible to ask his mercy.  His sole link with the past appeared to be this notion that he had planned all the good things in store for us.  Consequently I was condemned to hear of the success of the plot, until ­for I had not the best of consciences ­I felt my hand would be spell-bound in the attempt to write to the princess; and with that sense of incapacity I seemed to be cut loose from her, drifting back into the desolate days before I saw her wheeled in her invalid chair along the sands and my life knew sunrise.

But whatever the mood of our affections, so it is with us island wanderers:  we cannot gaze over at England, knowing the old country to be close under the sea-line, and not hail it, and partly forget ourselves in the time that was.  The smell of sea-air made me long for the white cliffs, the sight of the white cliffs revived pleasant thoughts of Riversley, and thoughts of Riversley thoughts of Janet, which were singularly and refreshingly free from self-accusations.  Some love for my home, similar to what one may have for Winter, came across me, and some appreciation of Janet as well, in whose society was sure to be at least myself, a creature much reduced in altitude, but without the cramped sensations of a man on a monument.  My hearty Janet!  I thanked her then for seeing me of my natural height.

Some hours after parting with my father in London, I lay down to sleep in my old home, feeling as if I had thrown off a coat of armour.  I awoke with a sailor’s song on my lips.  Looking out of window at the well-known features of the heaths and dark firs, and waning oak copses, and the shadowy line of the downs stretching their long whale backs South to West, it struck me that I had been barely alive of late.  Indeed one who consents to live as I had done, in a hope and a retrospect, will find his life slipping between the two, like the ships under the striding Colossus.  I shook myself, braced myself, and saluted every one at the breakfast table with the frankness of Harry Richmond.  Congratulated on my splendid spirits, I was confirmed in the idea that I enjoyed them, though I knew of something hollow which sent an echo through me at intervals.  Janet had become a fixed inmate of the house.  ’I’ve bought her, and I shall keep her; she’s the apple of my eye,’ said the squire, adding with characteristic scrupulousness, ‘if apple’s female.’  I asked her whether she had heard from Temple latterly.  ’No; dear little fellow!’ cried she, and I saw in a twinkling what it was that the squire liked in her, and liked it too.  I caught sight of myself, as through a rift of cloud, trotting home from the hunt to a glad, frank, unpretending mate, with just enough of understanding to look up to mine.  For a second or so it was pleasing, as a glance out of his library across hill and dale will be to a strained student.  Our familiarity sanctioned a comment on the growth of her daughter-of-the-regiment moustache, the faintest conceivable suggestion of a shadow on her soft upper lip, which a poet might have feigned to have fallen from her dark thick eyebrows.

‘Why, you don’t mean to say, Hal, it’s not to your taste?’ said the squire.

‘No,’ said I, turning an eye on my aunt Dorothy, ’I’ve loved it all my life.’

The squire stared at me to make sure of this, muttered that it was to his mind a beauty, and that it was nothing more on Janet’s lip than down on a flower, bloom on a plum.  The poetical comparisons had the effect of causing me to examine her critically.  She did not raise a spark of poetical sentiment in my bosom.  She had grown a tall young woman, firmly built, light of motion, graceful perhaps; but it was not the grace of grace:  the grace of simplicity, rather.  She talked vivaciously and frankly, and gave (to friends) her whole eyes and a fine animation in talking; and her voice was a delight to friends; there was always the full ring of Janet in it, and music also.  She still lifted her lip when she expressed contempt or dislike of persons; nor was she cured of her trick of frowning.  She was as ready as ever to be flattered; that was evident.  My grandfather’s praise of her she received with a rewarding look back of kindness; she was not discomposed by flattery, and threw herself into no postures, nor blushed very deeply.  ’Thank you for perceiving my merits,’ she seemed to say; and to be just I should add that one could fancy her saying, you see them because you love me.  She wore her hair in a plain knot, peculiarly neatly rounded away from the temples, which sometimes gave to a face not aquiline a look of swiftness.  The face was mobile, various, not at all suggestive of bad temper, in spite of her frowns.  The profile of it was less assuring than the front, because of the dark eyebrows’ extension and the occasional frown, but that was not shared by the mouth, which was, I admitted to myself, a charming bow, running to a length at the corners like her eyebrows, quick with smiles.  The corners of the mouth would often be in movement, setting dimples at work in her cheek, while the brows remained fixed, and thus at times a tender meditative air was given her that I could not think her own.  Upon what could she possibly reflect?  She had not a care, she had no education, she could hardly boast an idea ­two at a time I was sure she never had entertained.  The sort of wife for a fox-hunting lord, I summed up, and hoped he would be a good fellow.

Peterborough was plied by the squire for a description of German women.  Blushing and shooting a timid look from under his pendulous eyelids at my aunt, indicating that he was prepared to go the way of tutors at Riversley, he said he really had not much observed them.

‘They’re a whitey-brown sort of women, aren’t they?’ the squire questioned him, ‘with tow hair and fish eyes, high o’ the shoulder, bony, and a towel skin and gone teeth, so I’ve heard tell.  I’ve heard that’s why the men have all taken to their beastly smoking.’

Peterborough ejaculated:  ‘Indeed! sir, really!’ He assured my aunt that German ladies were most agreeable, cultivated persons, extremely domesticated, retiring; the encomiums of the Roman historian were as well deserved by them in the present day as they had been in the past; decidedly, on the whole, Peterborough would call them a virtuous race.

‘Why do they let the men smoke, then?’ said the squire.  ’A pretty style o’ courtship.  Come, sit by my hearth, ma’am; I ’ll be your chimney ­faugh! dirty rascals!’

Janet said:  ‘I rather like the smell of cigars.’

‘Like what you please, my dear ­he’ll be a lucky dog,’ the squire approved her promptly, and asked me if I smoked.

I was not a stranger to the act, I confessed.

’Well’ ­he took refuge in practical philosophy ­’a man must bring some dirt home from every journey:  only don’t smoke me out, mercy’s sake.’

Here was a hint of Janet’s influence with him, and of what he expected from my return to Riversley.

Peterborough informed me that he suffered persecution over the last glasses of Port in the evening, through the squire’s persistent inquiries as to whether a woman had anything to do with my staying so long abroad.  ‘A lady, sir?’ quoth Peterborough.  ‘Lady, if you like,’ rejoined the squire.  ’You parsons and petticoats must always mince the meat to hash the fact.’  Peterborough defended his young friend Harry’s moral reputation, and was amazed to hear that the squire did not think highly of a man’s chastity.  The squire acutely chagrined the sensitive gentleman by drawling the word after him, and declaring that he tossed that kind of thing into the women’s wash-basket.  Peterborough, not without signs of indignation, protesting, the squire asked him point-blank if he supposed that Old England had been raised to the head of the world by such as he.  In fine, he favoured Peterborough with a lesson in worldly views.  ‘But these,’ Peterborough said to me, ’are not the views, dear Harry ­if they are the views of ladies of any description, which I take leave to doubt ­not the views of the ladies you and I would esteem.  For instance, the ladies of this household.’  My aunt Dorothy’s fate was plain.

In reply to my grandfather’s renewed demand to know whether any one of those High-Dutch women had got hold of me, Peterborough said:  ’Mr. Beltham, the only lady of whom it could be suspected that my friend Harry regarded her with more than ordinary admiration was Hereditary-Princess of one of the ancient princely Houses of Germany.’  My grandfather thereupon said, ‘Oh!’ pushed the wine, and was stopped.

Peterborough chuckled over this ‘Oh!’ and the stoppage of further questions, while acknowledging that the luxury of a pipe would help to make him more charitable.  He enjoyed the Port of his native land, but he did, likewise, feel the want of one whiff or so of the less restrictive foreigner’s pipe; and he begged me to note the curiosity of our worship of aristocracy and royalty; and we, who were such slaves to rank, and such tyrants in our own households, ­we Britons were the great sticklers for freedom!  His conclusion was, that we were not logical.  We would have a Throne, which we would not allow the liberty to do anything to make it worthy of rational veneration:  we would have a peerage, of which we were so jealous that it formed almost an assembly of automatons; we would have virtuous women, only for them to be pursued by immoral men.  Peterborough feared, he must say, that we were an inconsequent people.  His residence abroad had so far unhinged him; but a pipe would have stopped his complainings.

Moved, perhaps, by generous wine, in concert with his longing for tobacco, he dropped an observation of unwonted shrewdness; he said:  ’The squire, my dear Harry, a most honourable and straightforward country gentleman, and one of our very wealthiest, is still, I would venture to suggest, an example of old blood that requires ­I study race ­varying, modifying, one might venture to say, correcting; and really, a friend with more privileges than I possess, would or should throw him a hint that no harm has been done to the family by an intermixture... old blood does occasionally need it ­you know I study blood ­it becomes too coarse, or, in some cases, too fine.  The study of the mixture of blood is probably one of our great physical problems.’

Peterborough commended me to gratitude for the imaginative and chivalrous element bestowed on me by a father that was other than a country squire; one who could be tolerant of innocent habits, and not of guilty ones ­a further glance at the interdicted pipe.  I left him almost whimpering for it.

The contemplation of the curious littleness of the lives of men and women lived in this England of ours, made me feel as if I looked at them out of a palace balcony-window; for no one appeared to hope very much or to fear; people trotted in their different kinds of harness; and I was amused to think of my heart going regularly in imitation of those about me.  I was in a princely state of mind indeed, not disinclined for a time to follow the general course of life, while despising it.  An existence without colour, without anxious throbbing, without salient matter for thought, challenged contempt.  But it was exceedingly funny.  My aunt Dorothy, the squire, and Janet submitted to my transparent inward laughter at them, patiently waiting for me to share their contentment, in the deluded belief that the hour would come.  The principal items of news embraced the death of Squire Gregory Bulsted, the marriage of this and that young lady, a legal contention between my grandfather and Lady Maria Higginson, the wife of a rich manufacturer newly located among us, on account of a right of encampment on Durstan heath, my grandfather taking side with the gipsies, and beating her ladyship ­a friend of Heriot’s, by the way.  Concerning Heriot, my aunt Dorothy was in trouble.  She could not, she said, approve his behaviour in coming to this neighbourhood at all, and she hinted that I might induce him to keep away.  I mentioned Julia Bulsted’s being in mourning, merely to bring in her name tentatively.

‘Ay, mourning’s her outer rig, never doubt,’ said the squire.  ’Flick your whip at her, she ’s a charitable soul, Judy Bulsted!  She knits stockings for the poor.  She’d down and kiss the stump of a sailor on a stick o’ timber.  All the same, she oughtn’t to be alone.  Pity she hasn’t a baby.  You and I’ll talk it over by-and-by, Harry.’

Kiomi was spoken of, and Lady Maria Higginson, and then Heriot.

‘M-m-m-m rascal!’ hummed the squire.  ’There’s three, and that’s not enough for him.  Six months back a man comes over from Surreywards, a farm he calls Dipwell, and asks after you, Harry; rigmaroles about a handsome lass gone off... some scoundrel!  You and I’ll talk it over by-and-by, Harry.’

Janet raised and let fall her eyebrows.  The fiction, that so much having been said, an immediate show of reserve on such topics preserved her in ignorance of them, was one she subscribed to merely to humour the squire.  I was half in doubt whether I disliked or admired her want of decent hypocrisy.  She allowed him to suppose that she did not hear, but spoke as a party to the conversation.  My aunt Dorothy blamed Julia.  The squire thundered at Heriot; Janet, liking both, contented herself with impartial comments.

‘I always think in these cases that the women must be the fools,’ she said.  Her affectation was to assume a knowledge of the world and all things in it.  We rode over to Julia’s cottage, on the outskirts of the estate now devolved upon her husband.  Irish eyes are certainly bewitching lights.  I thought, for my part, I could not do as the captain was doing, serving his country in foreign parts, while such as these were shining without a captain at home.  Janet approved his conduct, and was right.  ’What can a wife think the man worth who sits down to guard his house-door?’ she answered my slight innuendo.  She compared the man to a kennel-dog.  ‘This,’ said I, ‘comes of made-up matches,’ whereat she was silent.

Julia took her own view of her position.  She asked me whether it was not dismal for one who was called a grass widow, and was in reality a salt-water one, to keep fresh, with a lapdog, a cook, and a maid-servant, and a postman that passed the gate twenty times for twice that he opened it, and nothing to look for but this disappointing creature day after day!  At first she was shy, stole out a coy line of fingers to be shaken, and lisped; and out of that mood came right-about-face, with an exclamation of regret that she supposed she must not kiss me now.  I projected, she drew back.  ‘Shall Janet go?’ said I.  ’Then if nobody’s present I ‘ll be talked of,’ said she, moaning queerly.  The tendency of her hair to creep loose of its bands gave her handsome face an aspect deliriously wild.  I complimented her on her keeping so fresh, in spite of her salt-water widowhood.  She turned the tables on me for looking so powerful, though I was dying for a foreign princess.

‘Oh! but that’ll blow over,’ she said; ’anything blows over as long as you don’t go up to the altar’; and she eyed her ringed finger, woebegone, and flashed the pleasantest of smiles with the name of her William.  Heriot, whom she always called Walter Heriot, was, she informed me, staying at Durstan Hall, the new great house, built on a plot of ground that the Lancashire millionaire had caught up, while the squire and the other landowners of the neighbourhood were sleeping.  ’And if you get Walter Heriot to come to you, Harry Richmond, it’ll be better for him, I’m sure,’ she added, and naively: 

’I ‘d like to meet him up at the Grange.’  Temple, she said, had left the Navy and was reading in London for the Bar ­good news to me.

‘You have not told us anything about your princess, Harry,’ Janet observed on the ride home.

‘Do you take her for a real person, Janet?’

‘One thinks of her as a snow-mountain you’ve been admiring.’

‘Very well; so let her be.’

‘Is she kind and good?’

‘Yes.’

‘Does she ride well?’

‘She rides remarkably well.’

’She ‘s fair, I suppose?’

’Janet, if I saw you married to Temple, it would be the second great wish of my heart.’

‘Harry, you’re a bit too cruel, as Julia would say.’

‘Have you noticed she gets more and more Irish?’

’Perhaps she finds it is liked.  Some women can adapt themselves... they ’re the happiest.  All I meant to ask you is, whether your princess is like the rest of us?’

‘Not at all,’ said I, unconscious of hurting.

’Never mind.  Don’t be hard on Julia.  She has the making of a good woman ­a girl can see that; only she can’t bear loneliness, and doesn’t understand yet what it is to be loved by a true gentleman.  Persons of that class can’t learn it all at once.’

I was pained to see her in tears.  Her figure was straight, and she spoke without a quaver of her voice.

‘Heriot’s an excellent fellow,’ I remarked.

‘He is.  I can’t think ill of my friends,’ said she.

‘Dear girl, is it these two who make you unhappy?’

‘No; but dear old grandada!...’

The course of her mind was obvious.  I would rather have had her less abrupt and more personal in revealing it.  I stammered something.

‘Heriot does not know you as I do,’ she said, strangling a whimper.  ’I was sure it was serious, though one’s accustomed to associate princesses with young men’s dreams.  I fear, Harry, it will half break our dear old grandada’s heart.  He is rough, and you have often been against him, for one unfortunate reason.  If you knew him as I do you would pity him sincerely.  He hardly grumbled at all at your terribly long absence.  Poor old man! he hopes on.’

‘He’s incurably unjust to my father.’

‘Your father has been with you all the time, Harry?  I guessed it.’

‘Well?’

’It generally bodes no good to the Grange.  Do pardon me for saying that. 
I know nothing of him; I know only that the squire is generous, and that
I stand for with all my might.  Forgive me for what I said.’

’Forgive you ­with all my heart.  I like you all the better.  You ’re a brave partisan.  I don’t expect women to be philosophers.’

‘Well, Harry, I would take your side as firmly as anybody’s.’

‘Do, then; tell the squire how I am situated.’

‘Ah!’ she half sighed, ‘I knew this was coming.’

’How could it other than come?  You can do what you like with the squire.  I’m dependent on him, and I am betrothed to the Princess Ottilia.  God knows how much she has to trample down on her part.  She casts off ­to speak plainly, she puts herself out of the line of succession, and for whom? for me.  In her father’s lifetime she will hardly yield me her hand; but I must immediately be in a position to offer mine.  She may:  who can tell? she is above all women in power and firmness.  You talk of generosity; could there be a higher example of it?’

‘I daresay; I know nothing of princesses,’ Janet murmured.  ’I don’t quite comprehend what she has done.  The point is, what am I to do?’

’Prepare him for it.  Soothe him in advance.  Why, dear Janet, you can reconcile him to anything in a minute.’

‘Lie to him downright?’

’Now what on earth is the meaning of that, and why can’t you speak mildly?’

’I suppose I speak as I feel.  I’m a plain speaker, a plain person.  You don’t give me an easy task, friend Harry.’

’If you believe in his generosity, Janet, should you be afraid to put it to proof?’

’Grandada’s generosity, Harry?  I do believe in it as I believe in my own life.  It happens to be the very thing I must keep myself from rousing in him, to be of any service to you.  Look at the old house!’ She changed her tone.  ’Looking on old Riversley with the eyes of my head even, I think I’m looking at something far away in the memory.  Perhaps the deep red brick causes it.  There never was a house with so many beautiful creepers.  Bright as they are, you notice the roses on the wall.  There’s a face for me forever from every window; and good-bye, Riversley!  Harry, I’ll obey your wishes.’

So saying, she headed me, trotting down the heath-track.