During the winter following Mr. Polk’s
death, Colonel Belmont was driving his coach along
the beach beyond the Park one afternoon when Helena,
who sat beside him, saw him give a long shudder, then
huddle. She grasped the reins of the four swiftly
trotting horses and spoke over her shoulder to Alan
Rush.
“Pull my father up to the top,” she said.
Rush did as he was bid, and the body
of Colonel Belmont was laid out between the two rows
of young people, whose gaiety had frozen to horror.
“Now take the reins,” said Helena.
Rush took the reins. Helena followed
her father swiftly and stooped to take his head in
her arms. But she dropped her ear to his lips
instead, then to his heart. For a moment longer
she stared at him, while the others waited for the
outburst. But she returned to the front seat,
and caught the reins from Rush’s hands.
“I must do something,”
she said; and he knew better than to answer her, or
even to look at her.
It was some time before she could
turn the horses, and then she was several miles from
home. She drove with steady hands; but when they
had reached the house and Rush lifted her down, she
was trembling violently. She pushed him aside.
“Go and get Magdalena,” she said.
Magdalena remained with her a week.
This was Helena’s first real grief, and there
was nothing cyclonic about it. “I’ll
never get over it,” she said. “Never!
And I’ll never be quite the same again.
Of course I don’t mean that I’ll have
this awful sense of bereavement and keep on crying
all my life: I know better than that; but I could
never forget him, nor forget to wish I still had him,
if I lived to be a hundred. If I had anything
to reproach myself for-anything serious-I
believe I’d go off my head; but I was
good to him; and I am sure mamma never could have
taken better care of him than I did. When he was
under doctor’s orders I gave him every drop
of the medicine myself, and I never would let him
eat a thing I thought wouldn’t agree with him.
He used to say his life was a burden, poor darling,
but I know he liked it. And who knows?-if
I hadn’t watched him so, he might not have lived
as long as he did. That is my one consolation....
This terrible grief makes everything else seem so
paltry; I could not even think of being engaged to
Alan Rush any longer. Poor fellow! I feel
sorry for him, but I can’t play for a long time
to come. As for papa’s wishes in the matter,
Mr. Geary and Mr. Washington will take care of my
money, and I am quite able to take care of myself.
If papa is near me now, he will understand how I feel,
and agree with me. I wish I had some heroic destiny.
Why has the United States ceased to make history?
I’d like to play some great part. Papa
used to say there was bound to be another upheaval
some day, but I’m afraid it won’t be in
my time.”
“It may,” replied Magdalena.
“There’s a good deal of history-making,
quiet and noisy, going on all the time. I’ve
been reading the newspapers this last year. They’re
horrid sensational things, but I manage to get a few
ideas from them. No one can tell what may happen
ten years hence. You may have a chance to be
the heroine of a revolution yet.”
“I’m afraid I’ll
never be anything but a belle, and I’m tired
of that already, although I never could stand being
shelved. But if there is a revolution during
my life I’ll be a factor in it. Just you
remember that.”
“I really do believe that you
were intended for something extraordinary.”
“I believe I was. That’s
the reason I’m so restless and dramatic.
I don’t feel as if I ever could be so again,
though,-not for ages, anyhow.”
The old close and affectionate intimacy
between the two girls was restored during that week.
At its end Helena went East to visit her aunt, Mrs.
Forbes. She was the untrammelled mistress of something
under a million dollars; and as her private car, filled
with flowers, bonbons, and books, pulled away
from a sorrowing crowd of friends on the Oakland side
of the ferry, it must be confessed she reflected that
the future would appear several shades darker if she
were arranging her belongings in a half-section, a
small quarterly allowance in her pocket. Nevertheless
Colonel Belmont had his reward. His daughter’s
grief was deep and lasting; and perhaps he knew.