I
“Tommy,” remarked Miss
Gladys Norman one day as Thompson entered her room
through the glass-panelled door, “have you ever
thought what I shall do fifty years hence?”
“Darn my socks,” replied the practical
Thompson.
“I mean,” she proceeded
with withering deliberation, “what will happen
when I can’t do the hundred in ten seconds?”
Thompson looked at her with a puzzled expression.
“My cousin Will says that if
you can’t do the hundred yards in ten seconds
you haven’t an earthly,” she explained.
“It’s been worrying me. What am I
to do when I’m old and rheumaticky and the Chief
does three on the buzzer? He’s bound to
notice it and he’ll look.”
Malcolm Sage’s “look”
was a slight widening of the eyes as he gazed at a
delinquent. It was his method of conveying rebuke.
That “look” would cause Thompson to swear
earnestly under his breath for the rest of the day,
whilst on Gladys Norman it had several distinct effects,
the biting of her lower lips, the snubbing of Thompson,
the merciless banging of her typewriter, and a self-administered
rebuke of “Gladys Norman, you’re a silly
little ass,” being the most noticeable.
For a moment Thompson thought deeply,
then with sudden inspiration he said, “Why not
move your table nearer his door?”
“What a brain!” she cried,
regarding him with mock admiration. “You
must have been waving it with Hindes’ curlers.
Yes,” she added, “you may take me out
to dinner to-night, Tommy.”
Thompson was in the act of waving
his hat wildly over his head when Malcolm Sage came
out of his room. For the fraction of a second
he paused and regarded his subordinates.
“It’s not another war,
I hope,” he remarked, and, without waiting for
a reply, he turned, re-entered his room and closed
the door.
Gladys Norman collapsed over her typewriter,
where with heaving shoulders she strove to mute her
mirth with a ridiculous dab of pink cambric.
Thompson looked crestfallen.
He had turned just in time to see Malcolm Sage re-enter
his room.
Three sharp bursts on the buzzer brought
Gladys Norman to her feet. There was a flurry
of skirt, the flash of a pair of shapely ankles, and
she disappeared into Malcolm Sage’s room.
II
“It’s a funny old world,”
remarked Gladys Norman that evening, as she and Thompson
sat at a sheltered table in a little Soho restaurant.
“It’s a jolly nice old
world,” remarked Thompson, looking up from his
plate, “and this chicken is It.”
“Chicken first; Gladys Norman
also ran,” she remarked scathingly.
Thompson grinned and returned to his plate.
“Why do you like the Chief, Tommy?” she
demanded.
Thompson paused in his eating, resting
his hands, still holding knife and fork, upon the
edge of the table. The suddenness of the question
had startled him.
“If you must sit like that,
at least close your mouth,” she said severely.
Thompson replaced his knife and fork upon the plate.
“Well, why do you?” she queried.
“Why do I what?” he asked.
She made a movement of impatience.
“Like the Chief, of course.” Then
as he did not reply she continued: “Why
does Tims like him, and the Innocent, and Sir James,
and Sir John Dene, and the whole blessed lot of us?
Why is it, Tommy, why?”
Thompson merely gaped, as if she had
propounded some unanswerable riddle.
“Why is it?” she repeated.
Then as he still remained silent she added, “There’s
no hurry, Tommy dear; just go on listening with your
mouth. I quite realise the compliment.”
“I’m blessed if I know,”
he burst out at last. “I suppose it’s
because he’s ‘M.S.,’” and he
returned to his plate.
“Yes, but why is it?”
she persisted, as she continued mechanically to crumble
her bread. “That’s what I want
to know; why is it?”
Thompson looked at her a little anxiously.
By nature he was inclined to take things for granted,
things outside his profession that is.
“It’s a funny old world,
Tommikins,” she repeated at length, picking
up her knife and fork, “funnier for some than
for others.”
Thompson looked up with a puzzled
expression on his face. There were times when
he found Gladys Norman difficult to understand.
“For a girl, I mean,”
she added, as if that explained it.
Thompson still stared. The remark
did not strike him as illuminating.
“It may be,” she continued
meditatively, “that I like doing things for
the Chief because he was my haven of refuge from a
wicked world; but that doesn’t explain why you
and Tims ”
“Your haven of refuge!”
repeated Thompson, making a gulp of a mouthful, and
once more laying down his knife and fork, as he looked
across at her curiously.
“Before I went to the Ministry
I had one or two rather beastly experiences.”
She paused as if mentally reviewing some unpleasant
incident.
“Tell me, Gladys.” Thompson was now
all attention.
“Well, I once went to see a
man in Shaftesbury Avenue who had advertised for a
secretary. He was a funny old bean,” she
added reminiscently, “all eyes and no waist,
and more curious as to whether I lived alone, or with
my people, than about my speeds. So I told him
my brother was a prize-fighter, and ”
“But you haven’t got a brother,”
broke in Thompson.
“I told him that for the good
of his soul, Tommy, and of the girls who came after
me,” she added a little grimly.
“It was funny,” she continued
after a pause. “He didn’t seem a bit
eager to engage me after that. Said my speeds
(which I hadn’t told him) were not good enough;
but to show there was no ill-feeling he tried to kiss
me at parting. So I boxed his ears, slung his
own inkpot at him and came away. Oh! it’s
a great game, Tommy, played slow,” she added
as an after-thought, and she hummed a snatch of a
popular fox-trot.
“The swine!”
Thompson had just realised the significance
of what he had heard. There was an ugly look
in his eyes.
“I then got a job at the Ministry
of Economy and later at the Ministry of Supply, and
the Chief lifted me out by my bobbed hair and put
me into Department Z. That’s why I call him my
haven of refuge. See, dearest?”
“What’s the name of the
fellow in Shaftesbury Avenue?” demanded Thompson,
his thoughts centring round the incident she had just
narrated.
“Naughty Tommy,” she cried,
making a face at “Mustn’t get angry and
vicious. Besides,” she added, “the
Chief did for him.”
“You told him?” cried
Thompson incredulously, his interest still keener
than his appetite.
“I did,” she replied airily,
“and he dropped a hint at Scotland Yard.
I believe the gallant gentleman in Shaftesbury Avenue
has something more than a smack and an inky face to
remember little Gladys by. He doesn’t advertise
for secretaries now.”
Thompson gazed at her, admiration in his eyes.
“But that doesn’t explain
why I always want to please the Chief, does it?”
she demanded. “In romance, the knight kills
the villain for making love to the heroine, and then
gets down to the same dirty work himself. Now
the ’Chief ought to have been bursting with
volcanic fires of passion for me. He should have
crushed me to his breast with merciless force, I beating
against his chest-protector with my clenched fists.
Finally I should have lain passive and unresisting
in his arms, whilst he covered my eyes, ears, nose
and ‘transformation’ with fevered, passionate
kisses; not pecks like yours, Tommy; but the real
thing with a punch in them.”
“What on earth ”
began Thompson, when she continued.
“There should have been a fearful
tempest on the other side of his ribs. I should ”
“Don’t talk rot, Gladys,” broke
in Thompson.
“I’m not talking rot,”
she protested. “I read it all in a novel
that sells by the million.” Then after
a moment’s pause she continued:
“He saved me from the dragon;
yet he doesn’t even give me a box of chocolates,
and everybody in Whitehall knows that chocolates and
kisses won the war. When I fainted for him and
he carried me into his room, he didn’t kiss
me even then.”
“You wouldn’t have known
it if he had,” was Thompson’s comment.
“Oh! wouldn’t I?”
she retorted. “That’s all you know
about girls, Mr. Funny Thompson.”
He stared across at her, blinking
his eyes in bewilderment.
“He doesn’t take me out
to dinner as other chiefs do,” she continued;
“yet I hop about like a linnet when he buzzes
for me. Why is it?”
She gazed across at Thompson challengingly.
A look of anxiety began to manifest
itself upon his good-natured features. Psycho-analysis
was not his strong point. In a vague way he began
to suspect that Gladys Norman’s devotion to Malcolm
Sage was not strictly in accordance with Trade Union
principles.
“There, get on with your chicken,
you poor dear,” she laughed, and Thompson, picking
up his knife and fork, proceeded to eat mechanically.
From time to time he glanced covertly across at Gladys.
“As to the Chief’s looks,”
she continued, “his face is keen and taut, and
he’s a strong, silent man; yet can you see his
eyes hungry and tempestuous, Tommy? I can’t.
Why is it,” she demanded, “that when a
woman writes a novel she always stunts the strong,
silent man?”
Thompson shook his head, with the
air of a man who has given up guessing.
“Imagine getting married to
a strong, silent man,” she continued, “with
only his strength and his silence, and perhaps a cheap
gramophone, to keep you amused in the evenings.”
She shuddered. “No,” she said with
decision, “give me a regular old rattle-box
without a chin, like you, Tommy.”
Mechanically Thompson’s hand
sought his chin, and Gladys laughed.
“Anyway, I’m not going
to marry, in spite of the tube furniture-posters.
Uncle Jake says it’s all nonsense to talk about
marriages being made in heaven; they’re made
in the Tottenham Court Road.”
Thompson had, however, returned to
his plate. In her present mood, Gladys Norman
was beyond him. Realising the state of his mind,
she continued:
“He’s got a head like
a pierrot’s cap and it’s as bald as a
fivepenny egg, when it ought to be beautifully rounded
and covered with crisp curly hair. He wears glasses
in front of eyes like bits of slate, when they ought
to be full of slumbrous passion. His jaw is all
right, only he doesn’t use it enough; in books
the strong, silent man is a regular old chin-wag,
and yet I fall over myself to answer his buzzer.
Why it is, I repeat?” She looked across at him
mischievously, enjoying the state of depression to
which she had reduced him.
Thompson merely shook his head.
“For all that,” she continued,
picking up her own knife and fork, which in the excitement
of describing Malcolm Sage she had laid down, “for
all that he would make a wonderful lover once
you could get him started,” and she laughed
gleefully as if at some hidden joke.
Thompson gazed at her over a fork
piled with food, which her remark had arrested half-way
to his mouth.
“He’s chivalrous,”
she continued. “Look at the way he always
tries to help up the very people he has downed.
It’s just a game with him ”
“No, it’s not,”
burst out Thompson, through a mouthful of chicken
and saute potato.
She gave him a look of disapproval
that caused him to swallow rapidly.
“The Chief doesn’t look
on it as a game,” he persisted. “He’s
out to stop crime and ”
“But that’s not the point,”
she interrupted. “What I want to know is
why do I bounce off my chair like an india-rubber ball
when he buzzes?” she demanded relentlessly.
“Why do I want to please him? Why do I
want to kick myself when I make mistakes? Why Oh!
Tommy,” she broke off, “if you only had
a brain as well as a stomach,” and she looked
across at him reproachfully.
“Perhaps it’s because
he never complains,” suggested Thompson, as he
placed his knife and fork at the “all clear”
angle, and leaned back in his chair with a sigh of
contentment.
“You don’t complain, Tommy,”
she retorted; “but you could buzz yourself to
blazes without getting me even to look up.”
For fully a minute there was silence;
Gladys Norman continued to gaze down at the debris
to which she had reduced her roll.
“No,” she continued presently,
“there is something else. I’ve noticed
the others; they’re just the same.”
She paused, then suddenly looking across at him she
enquired, “What is loyalty, Tommy?”
“Standing up and taking off
your hat when they play ’God Save the King,’”
he replied glibly.
She laughed, and deftly flicked a
bread pill she had just manufactured, catching Thompson
beneath the left eye and causing him to blink violently.
“You’re a funny old thing,”
she laughed. “You know quite well what I
mean, only you’re too stupid to realise it.
Look at the Innocent for him the Chief
is the only man in all the world. Then there’s
Tims. He’d get up in the middle of the night
and drive the Chief to blazes, and hang the petrol.
Then there’s you and me.”
Thompson drew a cigarette-case from his pocket.
“I think I know why it
is,” she said, nodding her pretty head wisely.
She paused, and as Thompson made no comment she continued:
“It’s because he’s human, warm flesh
and blood.”
“But when I’m warm flesh
and blood,” objected Thompson, with corrugated
brow, “you tell me not to be silly.”
“Your idea of warmth, my dear
man, was learnt on the upper reaches of the Thames
after dark,” was the scathing retort.
“Yes, but ” he began,
when she interrupted him.
“Look what he did for Miss Blair.
Had her at the office and then then looked
after her.”
“And afterwards got her a job,”
remarked Thompson. “But that’s just
like the Chief,” he added.
“Where did you meet him first,
Tommy?” she enquired, as she leaned forward
slightly to light her cigarette at the match he held
out to her.
“In a bath,” was the reply,
as Thompson proceeded to light his own cigarette.
“You’re not a bit funny,” she retorted.
“But it was,” he persisted.
“Was what?”
“In a bath. He hadn’t had one before
and ”
“Not had a bath!” she
cried. “If you try to pull my leg like that,
Tommy, you’ll ladder my stockings.”
“But I’m not,” protested
Thompson. “I met the Chief in a Turkish
bath, and he went into the hottest room and crumpled,
so I looked after him, and that’s how I got
to know him.”
“Of course, you couldn’t
have happened to mention that it was a Turkish
bath, Tommy, could you?” she said. “That
wouldn’t be you at all. But what makes
him do things like he did for Miss Blair?”
“I suppose because he’s
the Chief,” was Thompson’s reply.
Gladys Norman sighed elaborately.
“There are moments, James Thompson,” she
said, “when your conversation is almost inspiring,”
and she relapsed into silence.
For the last half-hour Thompson had
been conscious of a feeling of uneasiness. It
had first manifested itself when he was engaged upon
a lightly grilled cutlet; had developed as he tackled
the lower joint of a leg of chicken; and become an
alarming certainty when he was half-way through a
plate of apple tart and custard. Gladys Norman’s
interest in Malcolm Sage had become more than a secretarial
one.
Mentally he debated the appalling
prospect. By the time coffee was finished he
had reached an acute stage of mental misery. Suddenly
life had become, not only tinged, but absolutely impregnated
with wretchedness.
It was not until they had left the
restaurant and were walking along Shaftesbury Avenue
that he summoned up courage to speak.
“Gladys,” he said miserably,
“you’re not ”
then he paused, not daring to put into words his thought.
“He’s so magnetic, so
compelling,” she murmured dreamily. “He
knows so much. Any girl might ”
She did not finish the sentence; but
stole a glance at Thompson’s tragic face.
They walked in silence as far as Piccadilly
Circus, then in the glare of light she saw the misery
of his expression.
“You silly old thing,”
she laughed, as she slipped her arm through his.
“You funny old thing,” and she laughed
again.
That laugh was a Boddy lifebelt to
the sinking heart of Thompson.