In the spring, Joan, at Mrs. Denton’s
request, undertook a mission. It was to go to
Paris. Mrs. Denton had meant to go herself, but
was laid up with sciatica; and the matter, she considered,
would not brook of any delay.
“It’s rather a delicate
business,” she told Joan. She was lying
on a couch in her great library, and Joan was seated
by her side. “I want someone who can go
into private houses and mix with educated people on
their own level; and especially I want you to see one
or two women: they count in France. You
know French pretty well, don’t you?”
“Oh, sufficiently,” Joan
answered. The one thing her mother had done for
her had been to talk French with her when she was a
child; and at Girton she had chummed on with a French
girl, and made herself tolerably perfect.
“You will not go as a journalist,”
continued Mrs. Denton; “but as a personal friend
of mine, whose discretion I shall vouch for.
I want you to find out what the people I am sending
you among are thinking themselves, and what they consider
ought to be done. If we are not very careful
on both sides we shall have the newspapers whipping
us into war.”
The perpetual Egyptian trouble had
cropped up again and the Carleton papers, in particular,
were already sounding the tocsin. Carleton’s
argument was that we ought to fall upon France and
crush her, before she could develop her supposed submarine
menace. His flaming posters were at every corner.
Every obscure French newspaper was being ransacked
for “Insults and Pinpricks.”
“A section of the Paris Press
is doing all it can to help him, of course,”
explained Mrs. Denton. “It doesn’t
seem to matter to them that Germany is only waiting
her opportunity, and that, if Russia comes in, it
is bound to bring Austria. Europe will pay dearly
one day for the luxury of a free Press.”
“But you’re surely not
suggesting any other kind of Press, at this period
of the world’s history?” exclaimed Joan.
“Oh, but I am,” answered
the old lady with a grim tightening of the lips.
“Not even Carleton would be allowed to incite
to murder or arson. I would have him prosecuted
for inciting a nation to war.”
“Why is the Press always so
eager for war?” mused Joan. “According
to their own account, war doesn’t pay them.”
“I don’t suppose it does:
not directly,” answered Mrs. Denton. “But
it helps them to establish their position and get
a tighter hold upon the public. War does pay
the newspaper in the long run. The daily newspaper
lives on commotion, crime, lawlessness in general.
If people no longer enjoyed reading about violence
and bloodshed half their occupation, and that the
most profitable half would be gone. It is the
interest of the newspaper to keep alive the savage
in human nature; and war affords the readiest means
of doing this. You can’t do much to increase
the number of gruesome murders and loathsome assaults,
beyond giving all possible advertisement to them when
they do occur. But you can preach war, and cover
yourself with glory, as a patriot, at the same time.”
“I wonder how many of my ideals
will be left to me,” sighed Joan. “I
always used to regard the Press as the modern pulpit.”
“The old pulpit became an evil,
the moment it obtained unlimited power,” answered
Mrs. Denton. “It originated persecution
and inflamed men’s passions against one another.
It, too, preached war for its own ends, taught superstition,
and punished thought as a crime. The Press of
to-day is stepping into the shoes of the medieval
priest. It aims at establishing the worst kind
of tyranny: the tyranny over men’s minds.
They pretend to fight among themselves, but it’s
rapidly becoming a close corporation. The Institute
of Journalists will soon be followed by the Union
of Newspaper Proprietors and the few independent journals
will be squeezed out. Already we have German
shareholders on English papers; and English capital
is interested in the St. Petersburg Press. It
will one day have its International Pope and its school
of cosmopolitan cardinals.”
Joan laughed. “I can see
Carleton rather fancying himself in a tiara,”
she said. “I must tell Phillips what you
say. He’s out for a fight with him.
Government by Parliament or Government by Press is
going to be his war cry.”
“Good man,” said Mrs.
Denton. “I’m quite serious.
You tell him from me that the next revolution has
got to be against the Press. And it will be
the stiffest fight Democracy has ever had.”
The old lady had tired herself.
Joan undertook the mission. She thought she
would rather enjoy it, and Mrs. Denton promised to
let her have full instructions. She would write
to her friends in Paris and prepare them for Joan’s
coming.
Joan remembered Folk, the artist she
had met at Flossie’s party, who had promised
to walk with her on the terrace at St. Germain, and
tell her more about her mother. She looked up
his address on her return home, and wrote to him,
giving him the name of the hotel in the Rue de Grenelle
where Mrs. Denton had arranged that she should stay.
She found a note from him awaiting her when she arrived
there. He thought she would like to be quiet
after her journey. He would call round in the
morning. He had presumed on the privilege of
age to send her some lilies. They had been her
mother’s favourite flower. “Monsieur
Folk, the great artist,” had brought them himself,
and placed them in her dressing-room, so Madame informed
her.
It was one of the half-dozen old hotels
still left in Paris, and was built round a garden
famous for its mighty mulberry tree. She breakfasted
underneath it, and was reading there when Folk appeared
before her, smiling and with his hat in his hand.
He excused himself for intruding upon her so soon,
thinking from what she had written him that her first
morning might be his only chance. He evidently
considered her remembrance of him a feather in his
cap.
“We old fellows feel a little
sadly, at times, how unimportant we are,” he
explained. “We are grateful when Youth
throws us a smile.”
“You told me my coming would
take you back thirty-three years,” Joan reminded
him. “It makes us about the same age.
I shall treat you as just a young man.”
He laughed. “Don’t
be surprised,” he said, “if I make a mistake
occasionally and call you Lena.”
Joan had no appointment till the afternoon.
They drove out to St. Germain, and had dejeuner
at a small restaurant opposite the Chateau; and afterwards
they strolled on to the terrace.
“What was my mother doing in Paris?” asked
Joan,
“She was studying for the stage,”
he answered. “Paris was the only school
in those days. I was at Julien’s studio.
We acted together for some charity. I had always
been fond of it. An American manager who was
present offered us both an engagement, and I thought
it would be a change and that I could combine the
two arts.”
“And it was here that you proposed to her,”
said Joan.
“Just by that tree that leans
forward,” he answered, pointing with his cane
a little way ahead. “I thought that in
America I’d get another chance. I might
have if your father hadn’t come along.
I wonder if he remembers me.”
“Did you ever see her again,
after her marriage?” asked Joan.
“No,” he answered.
“We used to write to one another until she gave
it up. She had got into the habit of looking
upon me as a harmless sort of thing to confide in
and ask advice of which she never took.”
“Forgive me,” he said.
“You must remember that I am still her lover.”
They had reached the tree that leant a little forward
beyond its fellows, and he had halted and turned so
that he was facing her. “Did she and your
father get on together. Was she happy?”
“I don’t think she was
happy,” answered Joan. “She was at
first. As a child, I can remember her singing
and laughing about the house, and she liked always
to have people about her. Until her illness came.
It changed her very much. But my father was
gentleness itself, to the end.”
They had resumed their stroll.
It seemed to her that he looked at her once or twice
a little oddly without speaking. “What
caused your mother’s illness?” he asked,
abruptly.
The question troubled her. It
struck her with a pang of self-reproach that she had
always been indifferent to her mother’s illness,
regarding it as more or less imaginary. “It
was mental rather than physical, I think,” she
answered. “I never knew what brought it
about.”
Again he looked at her with that odd,
inquisitive expression. “She never got
over it?” he asked.
“Oh, there were times,”
answered Joan, “when she was more like her old
self again. But I don’t think she ever
quite got over it. Unless it was towards the
end,” she added. “They told me she
seemed much better for a little while before she died.
I was away at Cambridge at the time.”
“Poor dear lady,” he said,
“all those years! And poor Jack Allway.”
He seemed to be talking to himself. Suddenly
he turned to her. “How is the dear fellow?”
he asked.
Again the question troubled her.
She had not seen her father since that week-end,
nearly six months ago, when she had ran down to see
him because she wanted something from him. “He
felt my mother’s death very deeply,” she
answered. “But he’s well enough in
health.”
“Remember me to him,”
he said. “And tell him I thank him for
all those years of love and gentleness. I don’t
think he will be offended.”
He drove her back to Paris, and she
promised to come and see him in his studio and let
him introduce her to his artist friends.
“I shall try to win you over,
I warn you,” he said. “Politics will
never reform the world. They appeal only to
men’s passions and hatreds. They divide
us. It is Art that is going to civilize mankind;
broaden his sympathies. Art speaks to him the
common language of his loves, his dreams, reveals
to him the universal kinship.”
Mrs. Denton’s friends called
upon her, and most of them invited her to their houses.
A few were politicians, senators or ministers.
Others were bankers, heads of business houses, literary
men and women. There were also a few quiet folk
with names that were historical. They all thought
that war between France and England would be a world
disaster, but were not very hopeful of averting it.
She learnt that Carleton was in Berlin trying to
secure possession of a well-known German daily that
happened at the moment to be in low water. He
was working for an alliance between Germany and England.
In France, the Royalists had come to an understanding
with the Clericals, and both were evidently making
ready to throw in their lot with the war-mongers, hoping
that out of the troubled waters the fish would come
their way. Of course everything depended on
the people. If the people only knew it!
But they didn’t. They stood about in puzzled
flocks, like sheep, wondering which way the newspaper
dog was going to hound them. They took her to
the great music halls. Every allusion to war
was greeted with rapturous applause. The Marseillaise
was demanded and encored till the orchestra rebelled
from sheer exhaustion. Joan’s patience
was sorely tested. She had to listen with impassive
face to coarse jests and brutal gibes directed against
England and everything English; to sit unmoved while
the vast audience rocked with laughter at senseless
caricatures of supposed English soldiers whose knees
always gave way at the sight of a French uniform.
Even in the eyes of her courteous hosts, Joan’s
quick glance would occasionally detect a curious glint.
The fools! Had they never heard of Waterloo
and Trafalgar? Even if their memories might be
excused for forgetting Crecy and Poictiers and the
campaigns of Marlborough. One evening it
had been a particularly trying one for Joan there
stepped upon the stage a wooden-looking man in a kilt
with bagpipes under his arm. How he had got
himself into the programme Joan could not understand.
Managerial watchfulness must have gone to sleep for
once. He played Scotch melodies, and the Parisians
liked them, and when he had finished they called him
back. Joan and her friends occupied a box close
to the stage. The wooden-looking Scot glanced
up at her, and their eyes met. And as the applause
died down there rose the first low warning strains
of the Pibroch. Joan sat up in her chair and
her lips parted. The savage music quickened.
It shrilled and skrealed. The blood came surging
through her veins.
And suddenly something lying hidden
there leaped to life within her brain. A mad
desire surged hold of her to rise and shout defiance
at those three thousand pairs of hostile eyes confronting
her. She clutched at the arms of her chair and
so kept her seat. The pibroch ended with its
wild sad notes of wailing, and slowly the mist cleared
from her eyes, and the stage was empty. A strange
hush had fallen on the house.
She was not aware that her hostess
had been watching her. She was a sweet-faced,
white-haired lady. She touched Joan lightly on
the hand. “That’s the trouble,”
she whispered. “It’s in our blood.”
Could we ever hope to eradicate it?
Was not the survival of this fighting instinct proof
that war was still needful to us? In the sculpture-room
of an exhibition she came upon a painted statue of
Bellona. Its grotesqueness shocked her at first
sight, the red streaming hair, the wild eyes filled
with fury, the wide open mouth one could
almost hear it screaming the white uplifted
arms with outstretched hands! Appalling!
Terrible! And yet, as she gazed at it, gradually
the thing grew curiously real to her. She seemed
to hear the gathering of the chariots, the neighing
of the horses, the hurrying of many feet, the sound
of an armouring multitude, the shouting, and the braying
of the trumpets.
These cold, thin-lipped calculators,
arguing that “War doesn’t pay”;
those lank-haired cosmopolitans, preaching their “International,”
as if the only business of mankind were wages!
War still was the stern school where men learnt virtue,
duty, forgetfulness of self, faithfulness unto death.
This particular war, of course, must
be stopped: if it were not already too late.
It would be a war for markets; for spheres of commercial
influence; a sordid war that would degrade the people.
War, the supreme test of a nation’s worth,
must be reserved for great ideals. Besides,
she wanted to down Carleton.
One of the women on her list, and
the one to whom Mrs. Denton appeared to attach chief
importance, a Madame de Barante, disappointed
Joan. She seemed to have so few opinions of
her own. She had buried her young husband during
the Franco-Prussian war. He had been a soldier.
And she had remained unmarried. She was still
beautiful.
“I do not think we women have
the right to discuss war,” she confided to Joan
in her gentle, high-bred voice. “I suppose
you think that out of date. I should have thought
so myself forty years ago. We talk of ‘giving’
our sons and lovers, as if they were ours to give.
It makes me a little angry when I hear pampered women
speak like that. It is the men who have to suffer
and die. It is for them to decide.”
“But perhaps I can arrange a
meeting for you with a friend,” she added, “who
will be better able to help you, if he is in Paris.
I will let you know.”
She told Joan what she remembered
herself of 1870. She had turned her country
house into a hospital and had seen a good deal of the
fighting.
“It would not do to tell the
truth, or we should have our children growing up to
hate war,” she concluded.
She was as good as her word, and sent
Joan round a message the next morning to come and
see her in the afternoon. Joan was introduced
to a Monsieur de Chaumont. He was a soldierly-looking
gentleman, with a grey moustache, and a deep scar
across his face.
“Hanged if I can see how we
are going to get out of it,” he answered Joan
cheerfully. “The moment there is any threat
of war, it becomes a point of honour with every nation
to do nothing to avoid it. I remember my old
duelling days. The quarrel may have been about
the silliest trifle imaginable. A single word
would have explained the whole thing away. But
to utter it would have stamped one as a coward.
This Egyptian Tra-la-la! It isn’t
worth the bones of a single grenadier, as our friends
across the Rhine would say. But I expect, before
it’s settled, there will be men’s bones
sufficient, bleaching on the desert, to build another
Pyramid. It’s so easily started:
that’s the devil of it. A mischievous boy
can throw a lighted match into a powder magazine,
and then it becomes every patriot’s business
to see that it isn’t put out. I hate war.
It accomplishes nothing, and leaves everything in
a greater muddle than it was before. But if the
idea ever catches fire, I shall have to do all I can
to fan the conflagration. Unless I am prepared
to be branded as a poltroon. Every professional
soldier is supposed to welcome war. Most of us
do: it’s our opportunity. There’s
some excuse for us. But these men Carleton
and their lot: I regard them as nothing better
than the Ménades of the Commune. They care
nothing if the whole of Europe blazes. They cannot
personally get harmed whatever happens. It’s
fun to them.”
“But the people who can get
harmed,” argued Joan. “The men who
will be dragged away from their work, from their business,
used as ’cannon fodder.’”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Oh,
they are always eager enough for it, at first,”
he answered. “There is the excitement.
The curiosity. You must remember that life
is a monotonous affair to the great mass of the people.
There’s the natural craving to escape from it;
to court adventure. They are not so enthusiastic
about it after they have tasted it. Modern warfare,
they soon find, is about as dull a business as science
ever invented.”
There was only one hope that he could
see: and that was to switch the people’s
mind on to some other excitement. His advices
from London told him that a parliamentary crisis was
pending. Could not Mrs. Denton and her party
do something to hasten it? He, on his side, would
consult with the Socialist leaders, who might have
something to suggest.
He met Joan, radiant, a morning or
two later. The English Government had resigned
and preparations for a general election were already
on foot.
“And God has been good to us, also,” he
explained.
A well-known artist had been found
murdered in his bed and grave suspicion attached to
his beautiful young wife.
“She deserves the Croix
de Guerre, if it is proved that she did it,”
he thought. “She will have saved many
thousands of lives for the present.”
Folk had fixed up a party at his studio
to meet her. She had been there once or twice;
but this was a final affair. She had finished
her business in Paris and would be leaving the next
morning. To her surprise, she found Phillips
there. He had come over hurriedly to attend
a Socialist conference, and Leblanc, the editor of
Le Nouveau Monde, had brought him along.
“I took Smedley’s place
at the last moment,” he whispered to her.
“I’ve never been abroad before.
You don’t mind, do you?”
It didn’t strike her as at all
odd that a leader of a political party should ask
her “if she minded” his being in Paris
to attend a political conference. He was wearing
a light grey suit and a blue tie. There was
nothing about him, at that moment, suggesting that
he was a leader of any sort. He might have been
just any man, but for his eyes.
“No,” she whispered.
“Of course not. I don’t like your
tie.” It seemed to depress him, that.
She felt elated at the thought that
he would see her for the first time amid surroundings
where she would shine. Folk came forward to meet
her with that charming air of protective deference
that he had adopted towards her. He might have
been some favoured minister of state kissing the hand
of a youthful Queen. She glanced down the long
studio, ending in its fine window overlooking the
park. Some of the most distinguished men in
Paris were there, and the immediate stir of admiration
that her entrance had created was unmistakable.
Even the women turned pleased glances at her; as
if willing to recognize in her their representative.
A sense of power came to her that made her feel kind
to all the world. There was no need for her to
be clever: to make any effort to attract.
Her presence, her sympathy, her approval seemed to
be all that was needed of her. She had the consciousness
that by the mere exercise of her will she could sway
the thoughts and actions of these men: that sovereignty
had been given to her. It reflected itself in
her slightly heightened colour, in the increased brilliance
of her eyes, in the confident case of all her movements.
It added a compelling softness to her voice.
She never quite remembered what the
talk was about. Men were brought up and presented
to her, and hung about her words, and sought to please
her. She had spoken her own thoughts, indifferent
whether they expressed agreement or not; and the argument
had invariably taken another plane. It seemed
so important that she should be convinced. Some
had succeeded, and had been strengthened. Others
had failed, and had departed sorrowful, conscious
of the necessity of “thinking it out again.”
Guests with other engagements were
taking their leave. A piquante little woman,
outrageously but effectively dressed she
looked like a drawing by Beardsley drew
her aside. “I’ve always wished I
were a man,” she said. “It seemed
to me that they had all the power. From this
afternoon, I shall be proud of belonging to the governing
sex.”
She laughed and slipped away.
Phillips was waiting for her in the
vestibule. She had forgotten him; but now she
felt glad of his humble request to be allowed to see
her home. It would have been such a big drop
from her crowded hour of triumph to the long lonely
cab ride and the solitude of the hotel. She
resolved to be gracious, feeling a little sorry for
her neglect of him but reflecting with
satisfaction that he had probably been watching her
the whole time.
“What’s the matter with
my tie?” he asked. “Wrong colour?”
She laughed. “Yes,”
she answered. “It ought to be grey to match
your suit. And so ought your socks.”
“I didn’t know it was
going to be such a swell affair, or I shouldn’t
have come,” he said.
She touched his hand lightly.
“I want you to get used to it,”
she said. “It’s part of your work.
Put your brain into it, and don’t be afraid.”
“I’ll try,” he said.
He was sitting on the front seat,
facing her. “I’m glad I went,”
he said with sudden vehemence. “I loved
watching you, moving about among all those people.
I never knew before how beautiful you are.”
Something in his eyes sent a slight
thrill of fear through her. It was not an unpleasant
sensation rather exhilarating. She
watched the passing street till she felt that his
eyes were no longer devouring her.
“You’re not offended?”
he asked. “At my thinking you beautiful?”
he added, in case she hadn’t understood.
She laughed. Her confidence
had returned to her. “It doesn’t
generally offend a woman,” she answered.
He seemed relieved. “That’s
what’s so wonderful about you,” he said.
“I’ve met plenty of clever, brilliant women,
but one could forget that they were women. You’re
everything.”
He pleaded, standing below her on
the steps of the hotel, that she would dine with him.
But she shook her head. She had her packing
to do. She could have managed it; but something
prudent and absurd had suddenly got hold of her; and
he went away with much the same look in his eyes that
comes to a dog when he finds that his master cannot
be persuaded into an excursion.
She went up to her room. There
really was not much to do. She could quite well
finish her packing in the morning. She sat down
at the desk and set to work to arrange her papers.
It was a warm spring evening, and the window was
open. A crowd of noisy sparrows seemed to be
delighted about something. From somewhere, unseen,
a blackbird was singing. She read over her report
for Mrs. Denton. The blackbird seemed never to
have heard of war. He sang as if the whole world
were a garden of languor and love. Joan looked
at her watch. The first gong would sound in a
few minutes. She pictured the dreary, silent
dining-room with its few scattered occupants, and
her heart sank at the prospect. To her relief
came remembrance of a cheerful but entirely respectable
restaurant near to the Louvre to which she had been
taken a few nights before. She had noticed quite
a number of women dining there alone. She closed
her dispatch case with a snap and gave a glance at
herself in the great mirror. The blackbird was
still singing.
She walked up the Rue des
Sts. Peres, enjoying the delicious air.
Half way across the bridge she overtook a man, strolling
listlessly in front of her. There was something
familiar about him. He was wearing a grey suit
and had his hands in his pockets. Suddenly the
truth flashed upon her. She stopped. If
he strolled on, she would be able to slip back.
Instead of which he abruptly turned to look down at
a passing steamer, and they were face to face.
It made her mad, the look of delight
that came into his eyes. She could have boxed
his ears. Hadn’t he anything else to do
but hang about the streets.
He explained that he had been listening
to the band in the gardens, returning by the Quai
d’Orsay.
“Do let me come with you,”
he said. “I kept myself free this evening,
hoping. And I’m feeling so lonesome.”
Poor fellow! She had come to
understand that feeling. After all, it wasn’t
altogether his fault that they had met. And she
had been so cross to him!
He was reading every expression on her face.
“It’s such a lovely evening,”
he said. “Couldn’t we go somewhere
and dine under a tree?”
It would be rather pleasant.
There was a little place at Meudon, she remembered.
The plane trees would just be in full leaf.
A passing cab had drawn up close to
them. The chauffeur was lighting his pipe.
Even Mrs. Grundy herself couldn’t
object to a journalist dining with a politician!
The stars came out before they had
ended dinner. She had made him talk about himself.
It was marvellous what he had accomplished with his
opportunities. Ten hours a day in the mines had
earned for him his living, and the night had given
him his leisure. An attic, lighted by a tallow
candle, with a shelf of books that left him hardly
enough for bread, had been his Alma Mater. History
was his chief study. There was hardly an authority
Joan could think of with which he was not familiar.
Julius Cæsar was his favourite play.
He seemed to know it by heart. At twenty-three
he had been elected a delegate, and had entered Parliament
at twenty-eight. It had been a life of hardship,
of privation, of constant strain; but she found herself
unable to pity him. It was a tale of strength,
of struggle, of victory, that he told her.
Strength! The shaded lamplight
fell upon his fearless kindly face with its flashing
eyes and its humorous mouth. He ought to have
been drinking out of a horn, not a wine glass that
his well-shaped hand could have crushed by a careless
pressure. In a winged helmet and a coat of mail
he would have looked so much more fitly dressed than
in that soft felt hat and ridiculous blue tie.
She led him to talk on about the future.
She loved to hear his clear, confident voice with
its touch of boyish boastfulness. What was there
to stop him? Why should he not climb from power
to power till he had reached the end!
And as he talked and dreamed there
grew up in her heart a fierce anger. What would
her own future be? She would marry probably some
man of her own class, settle down to the average woman’s
“life”; be allowed, like a spoilt child,
to still “take an interest” in public affairs:
hold “drawing-rooms” attended by cranks
and political nonentities: be President, perhaps,
of the local Woman’s Liberal League. The
alternative: to spend her days glued to a desk,
penning exhortations to the people that Carleton and
his like might or might not allow them to read; while
youth and beauty slipped away from her, leaving her
one of the ten thousand other lonely, faded women,
forcing themselves unwelcome into men’s jobs.
There came to her a sense of having been robbed of
what was hers by primitive eternal law. Greyson
had been right. She did love power power
to serve and shape the world. She would have
earned it and used it well. She could have helped
him, inspired him. They would have worked together:
he the force and she the guidance. She would
have supplied the things he lacked. It was to
her he came for counsel, as it was. But for
her he would never have taken the first step.
What right had this poor brainless lump of painted
flesh to share his wounds, his triumphs? What
help could she give him when the time should come that
he should need it?
Suddenly he broke off. “What
a fool I’m making of myself,” he said.
“I always was a dreamer.”
She forced a laugh. “Why
shouldn’t it come true?” she asked.
They had the little garden to themselves.
The million lights of Paris shone below them.
“Because you won’t be
there,” he answered, “and without you I
can’t do it. You think I’m always
like I am to-night, bragging, confident. So I
am when you are with me. You give me back my
strength. The plans and hopes and dreams that
were slipping from me come crowding round me, laughing
and holding out their hands. They are like the
children. They need two to care for them.
I want to talk about them to someone who understands
them and loves them, as I do. I want to feel
they are dear to someone else, as well as to myself:
that I must work for them for her sake, as well as
for my own. I want someone to help me to bring
them up.”
There were tears in his eyes.
He brushed them angrily away. “Oh, I know
I ought to be ashamed of myself,” he said.
“It wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t
to know that a hot-blooded young chap of twenty hasn’t
all his wits about him, any more than I was.
If I had never met you, it wouldn’t have mattered.
I’d have done my bit of good, and have stopped
there, content. With you beside me” he
looked away from her to where the silent city peeped
through its veil of night “I might
have left the world better than I found it.”
The blood had mounted to her face.
She drew back into the shadow, beyond the tiny sphere
of light made by the little lamp.
“Men have accomplished great
things without a woman’s help,” she said.
“Some men,” he answered.
“Artists and poets. They have the woman
within them. Men like myself the
mere fighter: we are incomplete in ourselves.
Male and female created He them. We are lost
without our mate.”
He was thinking only of himself.
Had he no pity for her. So was she, also, useless
without her mate. Neither was she of those, here
and there, who can stand alone. Her task was
that of the eternal woman: to make a home:
to cleanse the world of sin and sorrow, make it a kinder
dwelling-place for the children that should come.
This man was her true helpmeet. He would have
been her weapon, her dear servant; and she could have
rewarded him as none other ever could. The lamplight
fell upon his ruddy face, his strong white hands resting
on the flimsy table. He belonged to an older
order than her own. That suggestion about him
of something primitive, of something not yet altogether
tamed. She felt again that slight thrill of
fear that so strangely excited her. A mist seemed
to be obscuring all things. He seemed to be coming
towards her. Only by keeping her eyes fixed on
his moveless hands, still resting on the table, could
she convince herself that his arms were not closing
about her, that she was not being drawn nearer and
nearer to him, powerless to resist.
Suddenly, out of the mist, she heard
voices. The waiter was standing beside him with
the bill. She reached out her hand and took it.
The usual few mistakes had occurred. She explained
them, good temperedly, and the waiter, with profuse
apologies, went back to have it corrected.
He turned to her as the man went.
“Try and forgive me,” he said in a low
voice. “It all came tumbling out before
I thought what I was saying.”
The blood was flowing back into her
veins. “Oh, it wasn’t your fault,”
she answered. “We must make the best we
can of it.”
He bent forward so that he could see into her eyes.
“Tell me,” he said.
There was a note of fierce exultation in his voice.
“I’ll promise never to speak of it again.
If I had been a free man, could I have won you?”
She had risen while he was speaking.
She moved to him and laid her hands upon his shoulders.
“Will you serve me and fight
for me against all my enemies?” she asked.
“So long as I live,” he answered.
She glanced round. There was
no sign of the returning waiter. She bent over
him and kissed him.
“Don’t come with me,”
she said. “There’s a cab stand in
the Avenue. I shall walk to Sèvres and take
the train.”
She did not look back.