Mr. Rosenbaum recites A thrilling experience.

“Hist, boys, don’t talk friendly to me out loud,” said the prudent Rosenbaum.  “What’s happened?  I know you have got the house.  I have been expecting for a long time that there would be a raid made upon it.  What the devil is that saying you have:  ’It’s a long worm that don’t have a turn.’  No; that isn’t it.  ‘It’s an ill lane that blows nobody no good.’  No; that’s not it, neither.  Well, anyway, Mrs. Sophronia unt her crowd got entirely too bold.  They played too open, unt I knew they’d soon get ketched.  Who did you get in the house?”

Si started to call over the names, and to recite the circumstances, but as he reached that of Brad Tingle, Rosenbaum clutched him by the arm and said earnestly: 

“Hold on.  Tell me the rest after a while.  I’m afraid of that man.  He’s come pretty near getting on to me several times already.  He’s listening now, unt he’ll be sure to suspect something if he don’t hear you treating me as you did the others.  Begin swearing at me as you did at the rest.”

Si instantly took the hint.

“I’ll stand no more foolishness,” he called out angrily.  “If you don’t surrender at once I’ll blow your rebel head off.”

“I have to give up,” Rosenbaum replied in an accent of pain, “for I believe I broke my leg when I fell.  I find I can’t stand up.”

“Give up your arms, then, and we’ll help you up to the fire, and see how badly you’re hurt,” said Si.

Rosenbaum gave groans of anguish as Si and Shorty picked him up and carried him over to the fire.

“Now we’re out of ear-shot o’ the house,” said Si, as they deposited him on the opposite side, and somewhat behind a thicket of raspberries, “and we can talk.  Where did you come from this time, Levi?”

“Straight from General Bragg’s Headquarters at Tullahoma, and I have got information that will make General Rosecrans’s heart jump for joy.  I have got the news he has been waiting for all these weeks to move his army.  I have got the number of Bragg’s men, just where they are stationed, and how many is at each place.  I’m crazy to get to General Rosecrans with the news.  I have been cavorting around the country all day trying some way to get in, unt at my wits’ ent, for some of the men with me had their suspicions of me, unt wouldn’t have hesitated to shoot me, if they didn’t like the way I was acting.  To tell the truth, it’s been getting pretty hot for me over there in the rebel lines.  Too many men have seen me in Yankee camps.  This man.  Brad Tingle, has seen me twice at General Rosecrans’s Headquarters, unt has told a lot of stories that made much trouble.  I think that this is the last visit I’ll pay General Bragg.  I’m fond of visiting, but it rather discourages me to be so that I can’t look at a limb running out from a tree without thinking that it may be where they will hang me.”

“Excuse me from any such visitin’,” said Si sympathetically.  “I’d much rather stay at home.  I’ve had 12 or 15 hours inside the enemy’s lines, playin’ off deserter, and I’ve had enough to last me my three years.  I’ll take any day o’ the battle o’ Stone River in preference.  I ain’t built for the spy business in any shape or form.  I’m plain, out-and-out Wabash prairie style-everything above ground and in sight.”

“Well, I’m different from you,” said Shorty.  “I own up that I’m awfully fond o’ a game o’ hocuspocus with the rebels, and tryin’ to see which kin thimble-rig the other.  It’s mighty excitin’ gamblin’ when your own head’s the stake, an’ beats poker an’ faro all holler.  But I want the women ruled out o’ the game.  Never saw a game yit that a woman wouldn’t spile if she got her finger in.”

“Mrs. Bolster came mighty near marrying him, and he’s pale yet from the scare,” Si explained.

“Yes,” said Shorty frankly.  “You’ll see I’m still while all around the gills.  Never wuz so rattled in my life.  That woman’s a witch.  You could only kill her by shooting her with a silver bullet.  She put a spell on me, sure’s you’re a foot high.  Lord, wouldn’t I like to be able to manage her.  I’d set her up with a faro-bank or a sweat-board, and she’d win all the money in the army in a month.”

“Yes, she’s a terror,” accorded Rosenbaum.  “She made up her mind to marry me when I first come down here.  I was awfully scared, for I was sure she saw through me sharper than the men did, and would marry me or expose me.  But I got some points on her about poisoning a neighboring woman that she hated unt was jealous of, unt then I played an immediate order from General Bragg to me to report to his Headquarters.  But it took all the brains I had to keep her off me.”

“She’s safe now from marryin’ anybody for awhile,” said Shorty, and he related the story of her nuptials, which amused Rosenbaum greatly.

“But you have signed Jeff Hackberry’s death warrant,” he said.  “If he tries to live with her she’ll feed him wild parsnip, unt he’ll get a house of red clay, that you put the roof on with a shovel.  It’ll be no great loss.  Jeff ain’t worth in a year the bread he’ll eat in a day.”

“She may be smothered in that hole,” Shorty bethought himself.  “I guess we’d better let her out for awhile.”

“Yes,” said Rosenbaum.  “She can’t do no harm now.  Nobody else will come this way to-night.  The men that were with me will scatter the news that the house is in Yankee hands.  They think there’s a big force here, unt so we won’t be disturbed till morning.”

“Then I’ll go in and let her out,” said Shorty.

The other inmates of the cabin were asleep when he entered, but they waked up, and begged him not to let the woman out until morning.

“Keep her in there till daylight,” said ’Squire Corson, “and then restore me to my home and functions, and I’ll call out a posse comitatus, and have her publicly ducked, according to the laws of the land, as a common scold.  I’ve never heard such vile language as she applied to me when I gave her the advice it was my duty to give to live in peace and quietness with her husband.  That there woman’s a Niagary of cuss words and abuse.”

“If yo’ let her out, take me outside with yo’,” begged Jeff Hackberry.  “She’ll kill me, sho’, if I’ve to stay in here till mornin’ with her.  She begun by flingin’ a bag o’ red pepper in my face, and set us all to sneezin’ until I thought the ’Squire’d sneeze his durned head off.  Then she jobbed me with a bayonet, and acted as no woman orter act toward her lawful husband, no matter how long they’d bin married, let alone their weddin’ night.”

“Sorry, but it’s agin all my principles to separate man and wife,” said Shorty, as he moved to the puncheon trap-door and undid the hasp.  “You took her for better or worse, and it’s too early in the game to complain that you found her a blamed sight worse than you took her for.  You’re one now, you know, and must stay that way until death do you part.”

Shorty lifted up the trap-door, and Si helped the woman out with some difficulty.  They expected a torrent of abuse, but she seemed limp and silent, and sank down on the floor.  The boys picked her up and laid her on the bed beside Jeff Hackberry.  “She’s fainted; she’s dead.  She’s bin sufferkated in that hole,” said Jeff.

“No, yo’ punkin-headed fool,” she gasped.  “I hain’t dead, nor I hain’t fainted, nor I hain’t sufferkated.  Yo’ll find out when I git my wind back a little, I’m so full o’ mad an’ spite that I’m done tuckered clean out.  I’m clean beat, so clean beat that I hain’t no words to fit the ‘casion.  I’ve got t’ lay still an’ think an’ gether up some.”

“She’s comin’ to, Shorty,” said Si.  “It’ll be pleasanter outside.”

“You say you have been having unusually exciting times,” said Si to Rosenbaum, as the boys again seated themselves by the fire.

“Veil, I should say so,” replied Rosenbaum with emphasis.  “Do you know that General Bragg is the very worst man that ever lived?”

“All rebels are bad,” said Shorty oracularly.  “But I suppose that some are much worse than others.  I know that the private soldiers are awful, and I suppose the higher you go the wuss they are.  The Corporals are cussider than the privates, the Sergeants can give the Corporals points in devilishness, and so it goes on up until the General commanding an army must be one of the devil’s favorite imps, while Jeff Davis is Old Horney’s junior partner.”

“No; it isn’t that,” said Rosenbaum.  “I’ve known a good many rebel Generals, unt some of them ain’t really bad fellers, outside of their rebelness.  But old Bragg is a born devil.  He has no more heart than a rattlesnake.  He actually loves cruelty.  He’d rather kill men than not.  I’ve seen plenty of officers who were entirely too willing to shoot men for little or nothing.  General Bragg is the only man I ever saw who would shoot men for nothing at all-just ‘for example,’ as he says, unt to make the others afraid unt ready to obey him.  He coolly calculates to shoot so many every month.  If they’ve done anything to deserve it, all right.  If they hain’t, he shoots them all the same, just to ‘preserve discipline.’”

Si and Shorty uttered exclamations of surprise at this cold-blooded cruelty.

“I know it’s hard to believe,” said Rosenbaum, “but it’s true all the same, as anybody around his Headquarters will tell you.  Jeff Davis knows it unt approves it.  He is the same kind of a man as General Bragg-no more heart than a tiger, I have seen a good deal of the inside of the rebel army, unt General Bragg is the coldest-blooded, cruelest man in it or in the whole world.  It’s true that the men he orders shot are generally of no account, like our man Jeff Hackberry-but it’s the principle of the thing that shocks me.  He just takes a dislike to the way a man looks or acts, or the way he parts his hair, looks at him with his steely-gray eyes, unt says coldly:  ‘Put him in the bull-pen.’  In the bullpen the poor devil goes, unt the next time General Bragg gets an idea that the discipline of the army is running down, unt he must stiffen it up with a few executions, he orders all the men that happen to be in the bull-pen taken out unt shot.”

“Without any trial, any court-martial, any evidence against them?” gasped Si.

“Absolutely without anything but General Bragg’s orders.  It is like you read of in the books about those Eastern countries where the Sultan or other High-muk-a-muk says, ‘Cut that man’s head off,’ unt the man’s head is cut off, unt no questions asked. unt no funeral ceremonies except washing up the blood.”

“Lucky for you, Levi,” said Shorty, “that he didn’t have any of the common prejudices against Jews, and slap you in the bull-pen.”

“O, but he did,” said Rosenbaum.  “He hated a Jew worse than any man I ever met.  Unt it brought me so near death that I actually watched them digging my grave.

“While I had my ups unt downs, unt some very narrow escapes,” continued Rosenbaum, “when I first went inside Bragg’s lines, I got along very well generally.  I played the peddler unt smuggler for the Southern Confederacy in great shape, unt run them through a lot of gun-caps, quinine, medicines, unt so so on, unt brought in a great deal of information which they found to be true.  Some of dis General Rosecrans gave me himself, for he is smart enough to know that if he wants his Secret Service men to succeed he must give them straight goods to carry to the enemy.

“I brought in exact statements of what divisions, brigades unt regiments were at this place unt that place, how many men was in them, who their commanders were, unt so on.  General Rosecrans would have these given me.  It helped him in his plans to know just what information was reaching the enemy, for he knew just how old Bragg would act when he had certain knowledge.  If he knew that Sheridan with 6,000 men was at this place, with Tom Wood 10 miles away with 6,000 more, he would do a certain thing, unt Rosecrans would provide for it.  The news that I brought in the rebels could test by the reports they got from others, unt they always found mine correct.

“My work pleased the rebel Generals so well that they made me a Captain in their army, transferred me from Brigade Headquarters to Division, unt then to Corps Headquarters.  I was given command of squads of scouts.  I can draw very well, unt I made good maps of the country unt the roads, with the positions of Yankee unt rebel forces.  This was something that the other rebel spies could not do, unt it helped me lots.  I was careful to make copies of all these maps, unt they got to General Rosecrans’s Headquarters.

“The other rebel spies got very jealous of me because I was promoted over them, unt they laid all sorts of plans to trip me up.  They came awful near catching me several times, but I was too smart for them, unt could outwit them whenever I got a pointer as to what they were up to.  Once they watched me go to a hollow sycamore tree, which I used as a postoffice for Jim Jones to get the things I wanted to send to General Rosecrans.  They found there maps I had made at Shelbyville, with the positions of the rebel un Yankee forces unt the fortifications all shown.

“That was an awful close call, unt I could feel the rope tightening around my neck.  But I kept my nerve, unt told a straight story.  I said that that tree was my regular office where I kept lots of things that I was afraid to carry around with me when I was in danger of falling into the Yankee hands, as I was every day when I was scouting.  Luckily for me I had some other private things unt a lot of Confederate money hid there, too, which I showed them.  They didn’t more than half believe my story, but they led me off, probably because they needed me so bad.

“I saw that the thing was only skimmed over, unt was ready to break out again any minute worse than ever, unt I kept my eyes peeled all the time.  That’s one reason why you have not seen me for so long.  I didn’t dare send General Rosecrans anything or go near outside the rebel lines.  I had to play very good, but I kept gathering up information for the day when I should make a final break unt leave the rebels for good.

“A week ago I was ordered to go up to General Bragg’s Headquarters to help them with their maps unt reports.  They had nobody there that could do the work, unt Jeff Davis, who always wants to know everything about the armies, was bunching them up savagely for full information.  He wanted accurate statements about the Yankee strength unt positions, unt about the rebel strength unt positions, to see if he couldn’t do something to pull the Yankees off of Pemberton at Vicksburg.  Bragg’s Adjutant-General sent word through all the army for to find good rapid penmen unt map-makers, unt I was sent up.

“The Adjutant-General set me to work under a fly near Headquarters, unt he was tickled almost to death with the way I did my work.  Old Bragg himself used to walk up unt down near, growling unt cussing unt swearing at everything unt everybody.  Once or twice the Adjutant-General called his attention to my work.  Old Bragg just looked it over, grunted, unt bored me through unt through with those sharp, cold, gray eyes of his.  But I thought I was safe so long as I was at Headquarters, unt I gave a great stiff to other Secret Service men who had been trying to down me.

“One morning old Bragg was in an awful temper-the worst I had ever seen.  Every word unt order was a cruelty to somebody.  Finally, up comes this Brad Tingle that you have inside.  He is a sort of a half-spy-not brains enough to be a real one, but with a good deal of courage unt activity to do small work.  He had been sent by General Cheatham to carry some papers unt make a report.  Whatever it was, it put old Bragg in a worse temper than ever.  Brad Tingle happened to catch sight of me, unt he said in a surprised way: 

“’Why, there’s that Jew I saw sitting in General Rosecrans’s tent talking to him, when I was playing off refugee Tennesseean in the Yankee camps.’

“‘What’s that?  What’s that, my man?’ said old Bragg, who happened to overhear him.

“Brad Tingle told all he knew about me.  Old Bragg turned toward me unt give me such a look.  I could feel those cold, cruel eyes boring straight through me.

“‘Certainly he is a Jew, unt one of old Rosecrans’s best spies,’ he said.  ’Old Rosecrans is a Jew, a Dutch Jew, himself.  I knowed him well in the old army.  He’s got a regular Jew face.  He plays off Catholic, but that is to hide his Jewishness.  He can’t do it.  That hook nose’d give him away if nothing else did, unt he has got enough else.  He likes to have Jews about him, because he understands them better than he does white people, unt particularly he is fond of Jew spies.  He can trust them where nobody else can.  They’ll be true to him because he is a Jew.  Put that man in the bull-pen, unt shoot him with the rest to-morrow morning.’ “‘Heavens,’ gasped the Adjutant-General; ’he is by far the best man I ever had.  I can’t get along without him.’

“‘You must get along without him,’ said old Bragg.  ’I’m astonished at you having such a man around.  Where in the world did you pick him up?  But it’s just like you.  How in God’s name Jeff Davis expects me to command an army with such makeshifts of staff officers as he sends me, I don’t know.  He keeps the best for old Lee unt sends me what nobody else’ll have, unt then expects me to win battles against a better army than the Army of the Potomac.  I never got a staff officer that had brains once.’

“A Sergeant of the Provost Guard, who was a natural beast, unt was kept by old Bragg because he was glad to carry out orders to murder men, caught hold of me by my shoulder unt run me down to the bull-pen, leaving the Adjutant-General with forty expressions on his angry face.

“My goodness, my heart sunk worse than ever before when I heard the door shut behind me.  There were 30 or 40 others in the bull-pen.  They were all lying around-dull, stupid, sullen, silent, unt hopeless.  They hardly paid any attention to me.  I sat down on a log, unt my heart seemed to sink clear out of me.  For the first time in my life I couldn’t see the slightest ray of hope.  Through the cracks in the bull-pen I could see the fresh graves of the men who had already been shot, unt while I looked I saw a squad of niggers come out unt begin digging the graves of those who were to be shot to-morrow.  I could see rebel soldiers unt officers passing by, stop unt look a moment at the graves, shrug their shoulders, unt go on.  It froze my blood to think that tomorrow they would be looking at my grave that way.  After a while a man came in unt gave each one of us a piece of cornbread unt meat.  The others ate theirs greedily, but I could not touch it.  Night came on, unt still I sat there.  Suddenly the door opened, unt the Adjutant-General came in with a man about my size and dressed something like me.  As he passed he caught hold of my arm in a sort of way that made me understand to get up unt follow behind him, I did so at once without saying a word.  I walked behind him around the bull-pen until we came back to the door, when the guard presented arms, unt he walked out, with me still behind him, leaving the other man inside.  After we had gone a little way he stopped unt whispered to me: 

“’The General had to go off in a hurry toward War Trace this afternoon.  He took the Provost-Sergeant unt part of his staff with him, but I had to be left behind to finish up this work.  I can’t get anybody else to do it but you.  I’m going to take you over to a cabin, where you’ll be out of sight.  I want you to rush that work through as fast as the Lord’ll let you.  After you get it done you can go where you damned please, so long as you don’t let the General set eyes on you.  I’ve saved your life, unt I’m going to trust to your honor to play fair with me.  Help me out, do your work right, unt then never let me see you again.’

“Of course, I played fair.  I asked no questions, you bet, about the poor devil he had put in my place.  I worked all that night unt all the next day getting his papers in the best possible shape, unt in making copies of them for General Rosecrans, which I stuck behind the chimney in the cabin.  Along in the morning I heard the drums beating as the men were marched out to witness the execution.  It made my heart thump a little, but I kept on scratching away with my pen for hfe unt death.  Then the drums stopped beating for a while, unt then they begun again.  Then I heard a volley that made me shiver all over.  Then the drums beat as the men were marched back to their camps.  If I had had time to think I should have fainted.  Towards evening I had got everything in first-class shape.  The Adjutant-General came in.  He looked over the papers in a very satisfied way, folded them up, checked off from a list a memorandum of the papers he had given me to copy unt compile, unt saw that I had given them all back to him.  Then he looked me straight in the eye unt said: 

“’Now, Jew, there’s no use of my saying anything to you.  You heard that volley this morning, unt understood it.  Never let me or the General lay eyes on you again.  You have done your part all right, unt I mine.  Good-by.’

“He took his papers unt walked out of the cabin.  As soon as he was gone I snatched the copies that I had hidden behind the chimney, stuck them here unt there in my clothes, unt started for the outer lines.

“I made my way to a house where I knew I’d find some men who had scouted with me before.  I knew they might be suspicious of me, but I could get them to go along by pretending to have orders from Headquarters for a scout.  I got to the house by morning, found some of them there, gathered up some more unt have been riding around all day, looking at the Yankee lines, unt trying to find some way to get inside.  I’m nearly dead for sleep, but I must have these papers in General Rosecrans’s hands before I close my eyes.”

“Your horse is all right, isn’t he?” asked Shorty.

“Yes, I think so,” answered Rosenbaum.

“Well, we have a good horse here.  I’ll mount him and go with you to camp, leaving Si and the rest of the boys here.  I can get back to them by daylight.”

So it was agreed upon.

Day was just breaking when Shorty came galloping back.

“Turn out, boys!” he shouted.  “Pack up, and start back for camp as quick as you kin.  The whole army’s on the move.”

“What’s happened, Shorty?” inquired Si, as they all roused themselves and gathered around.

“Well,” answered Shorty, rather swelling with the importance of that which he had to communicate, “all I know is that we got into camp a little after midnight, and went direct to Gen. Rosecrans’s Headquarters.  Of course, the old man was up; I don’t believe that old hook-nosed duffer ever sleeps.  He was awful glad to see Rosenbaum, and gave us both great big horns o’ whisky, which Rosenbaum certainly needed, if I didn’t, for he was dead tired, and almost flopped down after he handed his papers to the General.  But the General wanted him to stay awake, and kept plying him with whisky whenever he would begin to sink, and, my goodness, the questions he did put at that poor Jew.

“I thought we knowed something o’ the country out here around us, but, Jerusalem, all that we know wouldn’t make a primer to Rosecrans’s Fifth Reader.  How were the bridges on this road?  Where did that road lead to?  How deep was the water in this creek?  How many rebels were out there?  Where was Bragg’s cavalry?  Where’s his reserve artillery?  And so on, until I thought he’d run a seine through every water-hole in that Jew’s mind and dragged out the last minner in it.  I never heard the sharpest lawyer put a man through such a cross-examination.

“Rosenbaum was equal to everything asked him, but it seemed to me that Gen. Rosecrans knowed a great deal more about what was inside the rebel lines than Rosenbaum did.  All this time they was goin’ over the papers that Rosenbaum brung, and Old Rosey seemed tickled to death to git ’em.  He told Rosenbaum he’d done the greatest day’s work o’ his life and made his fortune.

“In the meantime the whole staff had waked up and gathered in the tents, and while the General was pumpin’ Rosenbaum he was sending orders to this General and that General, and stirrin’ things up from Dan to Beersheba.  Lord, you ought t’ve seen that army wake up.  I wouldn’t ’ve missed it for a farm.  Everything is on the move-right on the jump.  We’re goin’ for old Bragg for every cent we’re worth, and we want to git back to the regiment as quick as our leg’ll carry us.  Hustle around, now.”

“But what’er we goin’ to do with our prisoners?” asked Si.

“Blast the prisoners!” answered Shorty with profane emphasis.  “Let ’em go to blue blazes, for all that we care.  We’re after bigger game than a handful o’ measly pennyroyal sang-diggers.  We hain’t no time to fool with polecats when we’re huntin’ bears.  Go off and leave ’em here.”

“That’s all right,” said Si, to whom an idea occurred.  “Hustle around, boys, but don’t make no noise.  We’ll march off so quietly that they won’t know that we’re gone, and it’ll be lots o’ fun thinking what they’ll do when they wake up and begin clapper-clawin’ one another and wonderin’ what their fate’ll be.”