A KEEPSAKE.
Bressant’s collar-bone was broken;
there were two severe bruises on his leg, though it
had escaped fracture; his body in several places was
marked with dark contusions, and there was a cut in
the back of his head, where he had fallen against
a stone. The professor set the collar-bone a
harrowing piece of work, there being no anesthetics
at hand and attended to the other hurts,
the patient all the while preserving a dogged and
moody silence, and avoiding the eyes of whoever looked
at him.
“Can’t understand it,”
said the old gentleman to himself; “the fellow
acts like a wild-beast as regards his appreciation
of human sympathy, in spite of his refined intellect
and cultivation. A wounded animal has the same
instinct to crawl away, and suffer in private.”
When brought into the house, Bressant
had been laid in the spare room adjoining the professor’s
study. After he had done all he could for his
comfort, the warm-hearted old gentleman, being overcome
with fatigue, retired to rest; the patient lay sullenly
quiet, wishing it were day, and, again, wishing day
would never come: at length the composing draught
which had been given him took effect, and he sank heavily
into sleep.
It was broad daylight when he awoke,
and stared feverishly around him. The room was
a pleasant one, facing the north and east, and the
morning sun came cheerfully in through the open windows,
slanting down the walls, and brightening on the carpet.
It was a great improvement upon his rather gloomy
room at the boarding-house, and he could not but feel
it so. A small ormolu clock ticked rapidly upon
the mantel-piece, the swing of the gilded pendulum
being visible beneath. Bressant watched it with
idle interest. He felt so weak, in mind and body,
that the clock seemed company just fitted for his
comprehension.
The door opened by-and-by, and Cornelia’s
smiling face peeped in, looking the sweeter for an
expression of tender anxiety. Seeing that he
was awake, her eyes took on an extra sparkle, and she
advanced a step into the room, still clinging with
one hand to the door-knob, however, as if afraid to
lose its support.
“You feel a little better, don’t
you? Is that mattress comfortable? I’m
going to bring you your breakfast in a few minutes.”
Bressant only grew red and bit his
mustache for answer. He would gladly have covered
himself up out of sight, but he could not move hand
or foot.
Cornelia had in her mind a little
speech she meant to deliver to Bressant, on the subject
of the previous night’s event, but, at the critical
moment, she felt her courage forsaking her. The
topic was so weighty and then she shrank
from speaking out what was in her head, perhaps because
her auditor was there as well as her sentiments.
Still, she felt she ought to try.
“Mr. Bressant,” began
she, with a kindling look, “Mr. Bressant, I ”
here her voice faltered; “oh! you don’t
know I can never tell you I
can never forget what you did last night!” This
was the end of the great speech.
Bressant became still more red and
uncomfortable. “I made a fool of myself
last night,” said he, dejectedly. “I
wish you hadn’t been there; if I’d known
what a piece of work ”
“But you saved my papa’s
life!” interrupted Cornelia, in a blaze.
The young man looked as if struck
with a new idea. It seemed as if he had not before
thought of looking upon the professor as an independent
quantity in the affair. The whole episode had
presented itself to him as a difficult problem which
he was to solve. The accident to himself had
been an imperfection in the solution, of which he was
deeply ashamed. But he was somewhat consoled
by the reflection that the old gentleman had really
needed preservation on his own account.
“That does make it better,”
said he, half to himself, with the first approach
to good-humor he had shown since his misfortune.
Cornelia still remained glowing in
the door-way, turning the latch backward and forward,
not knowing what more to say, and yet unwilling to
say nothing more. She did not at all comprehend
Bressant’s attitude, and therefore admired him
all the more. What she could not understand in
him was, of course, beyond her scope.
“You may think nothing of it,
but I know I I know we do I can’t
say what I want to, and I’m not going to try
any more; but I’m sure you know or,
at least, you’ll find out some time in
some other way, you know.”
Bressant could not hear all this,
nor would he have known what it meant, if he had;
but he could see that Cornelia was kindly disposed
toward him, and was conscious of great pleasure in
looking at her, and thought, if she were to touch
him, he would get well. He said nothing, however,
and presently his bodily pain caused him to sigh and
close his eyes wearily. Cornelia immediately
kissed her soft fingers to him twice, and then vanished
from the room, looking more like a blush than a tea
rose. Before long she returned with the sick
man’s breakfast on a tray.
“Do you like to be nursed?”
asked she, as she put the tray on a table, and moved
it up to the bedside.
“No!” said Bressant, emphatically,
and with an intonation of great surprise.
“Oh! why not?” faltered Cornelia, quite
taken aback.
“I hate disabled people; they’re
monstrosities, and had better not be at all.
I wouldn’t nurse them.”
“You think there’s no
pleasure in doing things for people who cannot help
themselves?” demanded Cornelia, indignantly.
“There can be no pleasure in
nursing,” reiterated he. “It might
be very pleasant to be nursed by any one
who is beautiful if one did not need the
nursing!”
Cornelia was becoming so accustomed
to Bressant’s undisguised manners that she forgot
to be disturbed by this guileless compliment.
Many hours afterward, when she was alone in her chamber,
the words recurred to her, devoid of the version his
manner had given them, and then they brought the blood
gently to her cheeks.
“You’re very foolish,”
said she, as she poured out some tea, and cut up a
mutton-chop into mouthfuls. “Now, you have
to drink this tea, though you wouldn’t the last
time I poured you out a cup; and I’ll give you
your chop. Open your mouth.”
So the athlete of the day before was
obliged to submit to having his tea-cup carried to
his lips and tipped for him by a woman, and the chop
administered bit by bit on a fork. It was very
degrading; but once in a while Cornelia accidentally
touched him, or her face, lit up by interest in her
occupation, came so near his own that he felt warm
and thrilled, and went near to admit it was worth
all the broken bones in the world, and the sacrifice
of pride accompanying them.
Ere breakfast was over, Professor
Valeyon entered with his slippers, his pipe, and a
remarkably benevolent expression for one of such impending
eyebrows.
“Well, my boy,” said he ever
since the accident he had addressed Bressant thus “you
look in a better humor with yourself this morning.
You’ll be well used to this room before you leave
it,” he continued, with kindly gravity, as he
felt his patient’s pulse. “You’ll
know all about the number and relative position of
the bars and bunches of flowers on the wall-paper
opposite, and how many feet and inches it is from
the window-frame to the room-corner, and which pane
of glass is the crookedest, and how much higher one
post of your bedstead is than the other; and plenty
more things of that kind. And, to tell you the
truth, my boy, I don’t believe a course of such
studies, by way of variety, will do you any harm.
Now, let’s look at this collar-bone of yours. O
Cornelia! you’d better be finishing your packing,
hadn’t you?” he added, to his daughter,
who was leaning on the back of his chair, sympathizing
with the sick man to her heart’s content.
She walked obediently to the door, but, before she
disappeared, turned and sent back a smile charged
with all the warmth of her ardent, womanly nature.
Bressant got the whole benefit of it; and it lingered
with him most of the morning.
“How long must I be here?”
inquired he, after Cornelia was gone.
“Three months at least,”
replied the surgeon; “more if you worry yourself
about it.”
“Three months!” repeated
the young man, aghast. “What’s to
become of my studies? I can’t hold a book;
I can’t write; I had to have my breakfast fed
to me this morning,” continued he, biting his
mustache and looking away. The professor smiled
thoughtfully.
“I have hopes,” said he,
“that you’ll know more about Divinity when
you come out of this room than you did before you
went into it. We’ll see when the time comes.”
“I’ve found out already
that my bones are like other men’s,” remarked
Bressant, with a sigh.
“So much the better,”
returned the old man. “You never would have
learned that out of your Hebrew Lexicon. The best
way to reach this young fellow’s soul is through
his body,” declared he, silently, to the bandage
he was preparing for the broken head. “This
is nothing but a blessing in disguise.”
But he had too much tact to carry the conversation
further, and presently left his patient alone to digest
his breakfast and the lesson it had inculcated.
This was Cornelia’s last day
at home; she was to take the eight-o’clock train
next morning to the city. The young lady’s
mood was unequal: sometimes she drooped; anon
would break forth into much talk and merriment, which
would evaporate almost as quickly as the froth of
champagne. This was her first departure from home,
and the ease, freedom, and beloved old ways of home-life,
assumed more of their true value in her eyes.
She had acquired a sentiment of awe for Aunt Margaret’s
grandeur. She would be obliged to sleep in corsets
and high-heeled shoes; everybody would be going through
the figures of a stately minuet all day long.
Then she began to feel in advance
the wrench of separating from those with whom her
life had been spent, and from one other in whose company
she had lived more so it seemed to her than
in all the years since she ceased to be a child.
Bressant was very prominent in her thoughts; nor could
she be blamed for this, for the short acquaintance
bad been emphasized by a disproportional number of
memorable events: First, there was the thunder-storm
evening by the fountain; afterward, the dance at Abbie’s;
and, following in quick succession, the celestial arch,
the walk homeward, and the catastrophe in which he
had borne the chief part. Besides, he was so
different from common men.
“So perfectly natural and unaffected,”
she argued to herself. “He means all he
says; of course I shouldn’t let him say such
things to me as he does if it weren’t so; but
it would be affectation in me to object to it as it
is!” a most plausible deduction, by-the-way,
but dangerous to act upon. To persuade herself
that, because he was an exceptional sort of person,
his plain way of talking to her was justifiable, was
to establish a secret understanding between him and
herself, which placed her at a disadvantage to begin
with; and unreservedly to accept compliments, even
ingenuous ones, was to indulge in a luxury that must
ultimately render callous her moral sensitiveness and
refinement.
On the other hand, her toleration
would be almost certain to have a bad effect upon
Bressant, no matter how sincere and well-meaning he
might be at the outset. A man is apt to know
when he has power over a woman; and, although he may
have no expectation of it, nor wish to use it, yet,
as time goes on and accustoms him to the idea, he
must have strong principles or cold blood who does
not finally yield to temptation. Plain speaking,
where pleasant things are said, is smelling poisonous
flowers for both parties.
A steady fall of rain set in during
the night, and made the morning of departure gray.
Blurred clouds rested helplessly on the backs of the
hills, and wept themselves into the wet valley without
seeming to grow less lugubrious for the indulgence.
There was no wind; trees and plants stood up and were
soaked in passive resignation. The weather-beaten
boards of the barn were drenched black, except a small
place right under the eaves, which looked as if it
had been painted a light gray. When the covered
wagon was brought around to the gate, it speedily acquired
a brilliant coat of varnish; Dolly’s bay suit
was streaked and discolored, and the reins, thrown
over her back, got all wet and uncomfortable.
Michael now came for Cornelia’s
trunk a ponderous structure packed within
an inch of its existence. Cornelia stood at the
head of the stairs and saw it go thump! thump! thump!
down to the bottom, and then scrape unwillingly over
the oil-cloth to the door. Such a heavy-hearted
old trunk as it was! Then she walked to the hall-window,
and watched its further journey along the glistening
marble causeway, which dimly reflected its square
ponderosity, and the tugging Michael behind it.
Now the gate had to be pulled open;
the rasp of its rattle and sharpness of its flap were
somewhat impaired by the wet, but it managed to give
the trunk a parting kick as it went out, as much as
to say the house was well rid of it.
“Cornelia!” called the
Professor from down-stairs, “you’ve just
five minutes to say good-by in. Get through and
come along!”
She passed through Sophie’s
open door; her sister held out her arms, her eyes
overflowing with tears, but smiling with the strange
perversity that possesses some people on these occasions.
Cornelia was troubled with no such misplaced self-dental;
she threw herself impatiently down by Sophie, and
sobbed with all her might. Possibly it was more
than one regret that found utterance then.
“You’ll be all well and
walking about when I come back, won’t you dear?”
said she, at last, in a shaking voice.
“I shall get well thinking what
a splendid time you’re having, darling.”
“Sophie will you
be quite the same to me when I come back?”
“Why, Neelie, dear, what a question!
I shall always be the same to you.”
“But I feel as if there were
going to be something that something was
going to come between us;” and Cornelia began
to droop like a flower under an icy wind. “You
never could hate me, could you, Sophie?”
“Hate you! Neelie!
What makes you speak so, dear? I have no misgivings.”
“Oh! I don’t know I
don’t know! it must be because I’m wicked!”
“You wicked, my darling
sister! Come,” said Sophie, with an earnest
smile, “think only of how much we love each other;
let the misgivings go.”
“Yes, we do love each other
now, don’t we? Whatever happens we’ll
always remember that. Good-by, Sophie!”
said Cornelia, with a strong hug and a long kiss.
“Good-by, dear Neelie!”
Cornelia ran down-stairs; her papa
had just gone out to the wagon; she went into Bressant’s
room, and walked quickly up to the bedside.
“Here’s your watch,”
said she. “I’ve kept it all safe,
and wound it up and every thing.” She had
also slept with it under her pillow, and worn it all
day in her bosom, but that she did not mention.
She laid it down on the table as she spoke.
“Have you a watch?” asked Bressant.
“I had one, but it did not go
very long. It was very small and pretty though;”
this is the short and pathetic history of most ladies’
watches.
“I’d like you to take
something of mine with you that you can see and hear
and touch: will you keep this watch?” asked
he, fixing his eyes upon her. There was no time
to deliberate; there was nothing she would like so
much; she snatched it up without a word and stuck it
into her belt.
“Good-by!” said she, holding
out her hand. Bressant took it, not without difficulty.
“I wish you were going to stay,”
said he, gloomily, “I should be more happy to
have you here, than ashamed to need your help.”
Cornelia’s eyes fell, and there
was a tremulousness on her lips that might mean either
smiles or tears. “You’ll be glad to
see me when I come back, then, and you are well?”
“You’ll be like a beautiful
morning when you come,” returned he, with a
touch of that picturesqueness that sounded so quaintly
coming from him. All this time he had retained
her hand, and now, looking her in the eyes, he drew
it with painful effort toward his lips. Cornelia’s
heart beat so she could scarcely stand, and her mind
was in a confusion, but she did not withdraw her hand.
Perhaps because he was so pale and helpless; perhaps
the old argument “it’s his way he
don’t know it isn’t customary;”
perhaps for this also must have a place perhaps
from a fear lest he should make no attempt to regain
it. She felt his bearded lips press against it.
At the touch, a sudden weakness, a self-pitying sensation,
came over her, and the tears started to her eyes.
“No one ever did that before
to me,” she said, almost plaintively, for he
had spoken no justifying words, and she was balancing
between a remorseful timidity and a timid exultation.
“It’s the first kiss I
ever gave,” said he, and his own voice vibrated.
“Are you angry? it shall be the last if you are.”
“Oh, I’m not angry,”
faltered poor Cornelia; and then she felt, or seemed
to feel, a force drawing her down scarcely
perceptible, yet strong as death. She bent her
lovely glowing face, with its tearful eyes and fragrant
breath, close down to Bressant’s.
At that very moment, or even an incalculable
instant before, the professor’s voice was heard
calling loudly from without:
“Come come! be quick! you’ll
be too late!”
She rose and fled from the room; but it was too late,
indeed.