“Do you think we might ask her
to come with us,” said Fraulein Elsa, retying
her pink sash ribbon before my mirror. “You
know, although she is so intellectual, I cannot help
feeling convinced that she has some secret sorrow.
And Lisa told me this morning, as she was turning out
my room, that she remains hours and hours by herself,
writing; in fact Lisa says she is writing a book!
I suppose that is why she never cares to mingle with
us, and has so little time for her husband and the
child.”
“Well, you ask her,”
said I. “I have never spoken to the lady.”
Elsa blushed faintly. “I
have only spoken to her once,” she confessed.
“I took her a bunch of wild flowers, to her room,
and she came to the door in a white gown, with her
hair loose. Never shall I forget that moment.
She just took the flowers, and I heard her-because
the door was not quite properly shut-I
heard her, as I walked down the passage, saying ’Purity,
fragrance, the fragrance of purity and the purity of
fragrance!’ It was wonderful!”
At that moment Frau Kellermann knocked at the door.
“Are you ready?” she said,
coming into the room and nodding to us very genially.
“The gentlemen are waiting on the steps, and
I have asked the Advanced Lady to come with us.”
“Na, how extraordinary!”
cried Elsa. “But this moment the gnadige
Frau and I were debating whether-
“Yes, I met her coming out of
her room and she said she was charmed with the idea.
Like all of us, she has never been to Schlingen.
She is downstairs now, talking to Herr Erchardt.
I think we shall have a delightful afternoon.”
“Is Fritzi waiting too?” asked Elsa.
“Of course he is, dear child-as
impatient as a hungry man listening for the dinner
bell. Run along!”
Elsa ran, and Frau Kellermann smiled
at me significantly. In the past she and I had
seldom spoken to each other, owing to the fact that
her “one remaining joy”-her
charming little Karl-had never succeeded
in kindling into flame those sparks of maternity which
are supposed to glow in great numbers upon the altar
of every respectable female heart; but, in view of
a premeditated journey together, we became delightfully
cordial.
“For us,” she said, “there
will be a double joy. We shall be able to watch
the happiness of these two dear children, Elsa and
Fritz. They only received the letters of blessing
from their parents yesterday morning. It is a
very strange thing, but whenever I am in the company
of newly-engaged couples I blossom. Newly-engaged
couples, mothers with first babies, and normal deathbeds
have precisely the same effect on me. Shall we
join the others?”
I was longing to ask her why normal
deathbeds should cause anyone to burst into flower,
and said, “Yes, do let us.”
We were greeted by the little party
of “cure guests” on the pension steps,
with those cries of joy and excitement which herald
so pleasantly the mildest German excursion. Herr
Erchardt and I had not met before that day, so, in
accordance with strict pension custom, we asked each
other how long we had slept during the night, had we
dreamed agreeably, what time we had got up, was the
coffee fresh when we had appeared at breakfast, and
how had we passed the morning. Having toiled up
these stairs of almost national politeness we landed,
triumphant and smiling, and paused to recover breath.
“And now,” said Herr Erchardt,
“I have a pleasure in store for you. The
Frau Professor is going to be one of us for the afternoon.
Yes,” nodding graciously to the Advanced Lady.
“Allow me to introduce you to each other.”
We bowed very formally, and looked
each other over with that eye which is known as “eagle”
but is far more the property of the female than that
most unoffending of birds. “I think you
are English?” she said. I acknowledged
the fact. “I am reading a great many English
books just now-rather, I am studying them.”
“Nu,” cried Herr Erchardt.
“Fancy that! What a bond already! I
have made up my mind to know Shakespeare in his mother
tongue before I die, but that you, Frau Professor,
should be already immersed in those wells of English
thought!”
“From what I have read,”
she said, “I do not think they are very deep
wells.”
He nodded sympathetically.
“No,” he answered, “so
I have heard... But do not let us embitter our
excursion for our little English friend. We will
speak of this another time.”
“Nu, are we ready?” cried
Fritz, who stood, supporting Elsa’s elbow in
his hand, at the foot of the steps. It was immediately
discovered that Karl was lost.
“Ka-rl, Karl-chen!”
we cried. No response.
“But he was here one moment
ago,” said Herr Langen, a tired, pale youth,
who was recovering from a nervous breakdown due to
much philosophy and little nourishment. “He
was sitting here, picking out the works of his watch
with a hairpin!”
Frau Kellermann rounded on him.
“Do you mean to say, my dear Herr Langen, you
did not stop the child!”
“No,” said Herr Langen;
“I’ve tried stopping him before now.”
“Da, that child has such
energy; never is his brain at peace. If he is
not doing one thing, he is doing another!”
“Perhaps he has started on the
dining-room clock now,” suggested Herr Langen,
abominably hopeful.
The Advanced Lady suggested that we
should go without him. “I never take my
little daughter for walks,” she said. “I
have accustomed her to sitting quietly in my bedroom
from the time I go out until I return!”
“There he is-there
he is,” piped Elsa, and Karl was observed slithering
down a chestnut-tree, very much the worse for twigs.
“I’ve been listening to
what you said about me, mumma,” he confessed
while Frau Kellermann brushed him down. “It
was not true about the watch. I was only looking
at it, and the little girl never stays in the bedroom.
She told me herself she always goes down to the kitchen,
and-
“Da, that’s enough!” said Frau
Kellermann.
We marched en masse along
the station road. It was a very warm afternoon,
and continuous parties of “cure guests”,
who were giving their digestions a quiet airing in
pension gardens, called after us, asked if we were
going for a walk, and cried “Herr Gott-happy
journey” with immense ill-concealed relish when
we mentioned Schlingen.
“But that is eight kilometres,”
shouted one old man with a white beard, who leaned
against a fence, fanning himself with a yellow handkerchief.
“Seven and a half,” answered Herr Erchardt
shortly.
“Eight,” bellowed the sage.
“Seven and a half!”
“Eight!”
“The man is mad,” said Herr Erchardt.
“Well, please let him be mad
in peace,” said I, putting my hands over my
ears.
“Such ignorance must not be
allowed to go uncontradicted,” said he, and
turning his back on us, too exhausted to cry out any
longer, he held up seven and a half fingers.
“Eight!” thundered the greybeard, with
pristine freshness.
We felt very sobered, and did not
recover until we reached a white signpost which entreated
us to leave the road and walk through the field path-without
trampling down more of the grass than was necessary.
Being interpreted, it meant “single file”,
which was distressing for Elsa and Fritz. Karl,
like a happy child, gambolled ahead, and cut down as
many flowers as possible with the stick of his mother’s
parasol-followed the three others-then
myself-and the lovers in the rear.
And above the conversation of the advance party I
had the privilege of hearing these delicious whispers.
Fritz: “Do you love me?”
Elsa: “Nu-yes.” Fritz
passionately: “But how much?” To
which Elsa never replied-except with “How
much do you love me?”
Fritz escaped that truly Christian
trap by saying, “I asked you first.”
It grew so confusing that I slipped
in front of Frau Kellermann-and walked
in the peaceful knowledge that she was blossoming and
I was under no obligation to inform even my nearest
and dearest as to the precise capacity of my affections.
“What right have they to ask each other such
questions the day after letters of blessing have been
received?” I reflected. “What right
have they even to question each other? Love which
becomes engaged and married is a purely affirmative
affair-they are usurping the privileges
of their betters and wisers!”
The edges of the field frilled over
into an immense pine forest-very pleasant
and cool it looked. Another signpost begged us
to keep to the broad path for Schlingen and deposit
waste paper and fruit peelings in wire receptacles
attached to the benches for the purpose. We sat
down on the first bench, and Karl with great curiosity
explored the wire receptacle.
“I love woods,” said the
Advanced Lady, smiling pitifully into the air.
“In a wood my hair already seems to stir and
remember something of its savage origin.”
“But speaking literally,”
said Frau Kellermann, after an appreciative pause,
“there is really nothing better than the air
of pine-trees for the scalp.”
“Oh, Frau Kellermann, please
don’t break the spell,” said Elsa.
The Advanced Lady looked at her very
sympathetically. “Have you, too, found
the magic heart of Nature?” she said.
That was Herr Langen’s cue.
“Nature has no heart,” said he, very bitterly
and readily, as people do who are over-philosophised
and underfed. “She creates that she may
destroy. She eats that she may spew up and she
spews up that she may eat. That is why we, who
are forced to eke out an existence at her trampling
feet, consider the world mad, and realise the deadly
vulgarity of production.”
“Young man,” interrupted
Herr Erchardt, “you have never lived and you
have never suffered!”
“Oh, excuse me-how can you know?”
“I know because you have told
me, and there’s an end of it. Come back
to this bench in ten years’ time and repeat
those words to me,” said Frau Kellermann, with
an eye upon Fritz, who was engaged in counting Elsa’s
fingers with passionate fervour-“and
bring with you your young wife, Herr Langen, and watch,
perhaps, your little child playing with-”
She turned towards Karl, who had rooted an old illustrated
paper out of the receptacle and was spelling over
an advertisement for the enlargement of Beautiful
Breasts.
The sentence remained unfinished.
We decided to move on. As we plunged more deeply
into the wood our spirits rose-reaching
a point where they burst into song-on the
part of the three men-“O Welt,
wie bist du wunderbar!”-the
lower part of which was piercingly sustained by Herr
Langen, who attempted quite unsuccessfully to infuse
satire into it in accordance with his-“world
outlook”. They strode ahead and left us
to trail after them-hot and happy.
“Now is the opportunity,”
said Frau Kellermann. “Dear Frau Professor,
do tell us a little about your book.”
“Ach, how did you know I was
writing one?” she cried playfully.
“Elsa, here, had it from Lisa.
And never before have I personally known a woman who
was writing a book. How do you manage to find
enough to write down?”
“That is never the trouble,”
said the Advanced Lady-she took Elsa’s
arm and leaned on it gently. “The trouble
is to know where to stop. My brain has been a
hive for years, and about three months ago the pent-up
waters burst over my soul, and since then I am writing
all day until late into the night, still ever finding
fresh inspirations and thoughts which beat impatient
wings about my heart.”
“Is it a novel?” asked Elsa shyly.
“Of course it is a novel,” said I.
“How can you be so positive?” said Frau
Kellermann, eyeing me severely.
“Because nothing but a novel could produce an
effect like that.”
“Ach, don’t quarrel,”
said the Advanced Lady sweetly. “Yes, it
is a novel-upon the Modern Woman.
For this seems to me the woman’s hour.
It is mysterious and almost prophetic, it is the symbol
of the true advanced woman: not one of those
violent creatures who deny their sex and smother their
frail wings under... under-
“The English tailor-made?” from Frau Kellermann.
“I was not going to put it like
that. Rather, under the lying garb of false masculinity!”
“Such a subtle distinction!” I murmured.
“Whom then,” asked Fraulein
Elsa, looking adoringly at the Advanced Lady-“whom
then do you consider the true woman?”
“She is the incarnation of comprehending Love!”
“But my dear Frau Professor,”
protested Frau Kellermann, “you must remember
that one has so few opportunities for exhibiting Love
within the family circle nowadays. One’s
husband is at business all day, and naturally desires
to sleep when he returns home-one’s
children are out of the lap and in at the university
before one can lavish anything at all upon them!”
“But Love is not a question
of lavishing,” said the Advanced Lady.
“It is the lamp carried in the bosom touching
with serene rays all the heights and depths of-
“Darkest Africa,” I murmured flippantly.
She did not hear.
“The mistake we have made in
the past-as a sex,” said she, “is
in not realising that our gifts of giving are for
the whole world-we are the glad sacrifice
of ourselves!”
“Oh!” cried Elsa rapturously,
and almost bursting into gifts as she breathed-“how
I know that! You know ever since Fritz and I have
been engaged, I share the desire to give to everybody,
to share everything!”
“How extremely dangerous,” said I.
“It is only the beauty of danger,
or the danger of beauty” said the Advanced Lady-“and
there you have the ideal of my book-that
woman is nothing but a gift.”
I smiled at her very sweetly.
“Do you know,” I said, “I, too, would
like to write a book, on the advisability of caring
for daughters, and taking them for airings and keeping
them out of kitchens!”
I think the masculine element must
have felt these angry vibrations: they ceased
from singing, and together we climbed out of the wood,
to see Schlingen below us, tucked in a circle
of hills, the white houses shining in the sunlight,
“for all the world like eggs in a bird’s
nest”, as Herr Erchardt declared. We descended
upon Schlingen and demanded sour milk with fresh
cream and bread at the Inn of the Golden Stag, a most
friendly place, with tables in a rose-garden where
hens and chickens ran riot-even flopping
upon the disused tables and pecking at the red checks
on the cloths. We broke the bread into the bowls,
added the cream, and stirred it round with flat wooden
spoons, the landlord and his wife standing by.
“Splendid weather!” said
Herr Erchardt, waving his spoon at the landlord, who
shrugged his shoulders.
“What! you don’t call it splendid!”
“As you please,” said the landlord, obviously
scorning us.
“Such a beautiful walk,”
said Fraulein Elsa, making a free gift of her most
charming smile to the landlady.
“I never walk,” said the
landlady; “when I go to Mindelbau my man drives
me-I’ve more important things to do
with my legs than walk them through the dust!”
“I like these people,”
confessed Herr Langen to me. “I like them
very, very much. I think I shall take a room
here for the whole summer.”
“Why?”
“Oh, because they live close to the earth, and
therefore despise it.”
He pushed away his bowl of sour milk
and lit a cigarette. We ate, solidly and seriously,
until those seven and a half kilometres to Mindelbau
stretched before us like an eternity. Even Karl’s
activity became so full fed that he lay on the ground
and removed his leather waistbelt. Elsa suddenly
leaned over to Fritz and whispered, who on hearing
her to the end and asking her if she loved him, got
up and made a little speech.
“We-we wish to celebrate
our betrothal by-by-asking you
all to drive back with us in the landlord’s
cart-if-it will hold us!”
“Oh, what a beautiful, noble
idea!” said Frau Kellermann, heaving a sigh
of relief that audibly burst two hooks.
“It is my little gift,”
said Elsa to the Advanced Lady, who by virtue of three
portions almost wept tears of gratitude.
Squeezed into the peasant cart and
driven by the landlord, who showed his contempt for
mother earth by spitting savagely every now and again,
we jolted home again, and the nearer we came to Mindelbau
the more we loved it and one another.
“We must have many excursions
like this,” said Herr Erchardt to me, “for
one surely gets to know a person in the simple surroundings
of the open air-one shares the same
joys-one feels friendship. What is
it your Shakespeare says? One moment, I have
it. The friends thou hast, and their adoption
tried-grapple them to thy soul with hoops
of steel!”
“But,” said I, feeling
very friendly towards him, “the bother about
my soul is that it refuses to grapple anybody at all-and
I am sure that the dead weight of a friend whose adoption
it had tried would kill it immediately. Never
yet has it shown the slightest sign of a hoop!”
He bumped against my knees and excused
himself and the cart.
“My dear little lady, you must
not take the quotation literally. Naturally,
one is not physically conscious of the hoops; but hoops
there are in the soul of him or her who loves his fellow-men...
Take this afternoon, for instance. How did we
start out? As strangers you might almost say,
and yet-all of us-how have we
come home?”
“In a cart,” said the
only remaining joy, who sat upon his mother’s
lap and felt sick.
We skirted the field that we had passed
through, going round by the cemetery. Herr Langen
leaned over the edge of the seat and greeted the graves.
He was sitting next to the Advanced Lady-inside
the shelter of her shoulder. I heard her murmur:
“You look like a little boy with your hair blowing
about in the wind.” Herr Langen, slightly
less bitter-watched the last graves disappear.
And I heard her murmur: “Why are you so
sad? I too am very sad sometimes-but-you
look young enough for me to dare to say this-I-too-know
of much joy!”
“What do you know?” said he.
I leaned over and touched the Advanced
Lady’s hand. “Hasn’t it been
a nice afternoon?” I said questioningly.
“But you know, that theory of yours about women
and Love-it’s as old as the hills-oh,
older!”
From the road a sudden shout of triumph.
Yes, there he was again-white beard, silk
handkerchief and undaunted enthusiasm.
“What did I say? Eight kilometres-it
is!”
“Seven and a half!” shrieked Herr Erchardt.
“Why, then, do you return in carts? Eight
kilometres it must be.”
Herr Erchardt made a cup of his hands
and stood up in the jolting cart while Frau Kellermann
clung to his knees. “Seven and a half!”
“Ignorance must not go uncontradicted!”
I said to the Advanced Lady.