The room fronted the west, but a black
cloud, barred with red, robbed the hour of twilight’s
tranquil charm. Shadows haunted it, lurking in
corners like spies set there to watch the man who stood
among them mute and motionless as if himself a shadow.
His eye turned often to the window with a glance both
vigilant and eager, yet saw nothing but a tropical
luxuriance of foliage scarcely stirred by the sultry
air heavy with odors that seemed to oppress not refresh.
He listened with the same intentness, yet heard only
the clamor of voices, the tramp of feet, the chime
of bells, the varied turmoil of a city when night is
defrauded of its peace by being turned to day.
He watched and waited for something; presently it
came. A viewless visitant, welcomed by longing
soul and body as the man, with extended arms and parted
lips received the voiceless greeting of the breeze
that came winging its way across the broad Atlantic,
full of healthful cheer for a home-sick heart.
Far out he leaned; held back the thick-leaved boughs
already rustling with a grateful stir, chid the shrill
bird beating its flame-colored breast against its
prison bars, and drank deep draughts of the blessed
wind that seemed to cool the fever of his blood and
give him back the vigor he had lost.
A sudden light shone out behind him
filling the room with a glow that left no shadow in
it. But he did not see the change, nor hear the
step that broke the hush, nor turn to meet the woman
who stood waiting for a lover’s welcome.
An indefinable air of sumptuous life surrounded her,
and made the brilliant room a fitting frame for the
figure standing there with warm-hued muslins blowing
in the wind. A figure full of the affluent beauty
of womanhood in its prime, bearing unmistakable marks
of the polished pupil of the world in the grace that
flowed through every motion, the art which taught
each feature to play its part with the ease of second
nature and made dress the foil to loveliness.
The face was delicate and dark as a fine bronze, a
low forehead set in shadowy waves of hair, eyes full
of slumberous fire, and a passionate yet haughty mouth
that seemed shaped alike for caresses and commands.
A moment she watched the man before
her, while over her countenance passed rapid variations
of pride, resentment, and tenderness. Then with
a stealthy step, an assured smile, she went to him
and touched his hand, saying, in a voice inured to
that language which seems made for lovers’ lips
“Only a month betrothed, and
yet so cold and gloomy, Adam!”
With a slight recoil, a glance of
soft detestation veiled and yet visible, Warwick answered
like a satiric echo
“Only a month betrothed, and
yet so fond and jealous, Ottila!”
Unchilled by the action, undaunted
by the look, the white arm took him captive, the beautiful
face drew nearer, and the persuasive voice asked wistfully
“Was it of me you thought when
you turned with that longing in your eye?”
“No.”
“Was it of a fairer or a dearer friend than
I?”
“Yes.”
The black brows contracted ominously,
the mouth grew hard, the eyes glittered, the arm became
a closer bond, the entreaty a command.
“Let me know the name, Adam.”
“Self-respect.”
She laughed low to herself, and the
mobile features softened to their former tenderness
as she looked up into that other face so full of an
accusing significance which she would not understand.
“I have waited two long hours; have you no kinder
greeting, love?”
“I have no truer one. Ottila,
if a man has done unwittingly a weak, unwise, or wicked
act, what should he do when he discovers it?”
“Repent and mend his ways; need I tell you that?”
“I have repented; will you help me mend my ways?”
“Confess, dear sinner; I will
shrive you and grant absolution for the past, whatever
it may be.”
“How much would you do for love of me?”
“Anything for you, Adam.”
“Then give me back my liberty.”
He rose erect and stretched his hands
to her with a gesture of entreaty, an expression of
intense desire. Ottila fell back as if the forceful
words and action swept her from him. The smile
died on her lips, a foreboding fear looked out at
her eyes, and she asked incredulously
“Do you mean it?”
“Yes; now, entirely, and forever!”
If he had lifted his strong arm and
struck her, it would not have daunted with such pale
dismay. An instant she stood like one who saw
a chasm widening before her, which she had no power
to cross. Then as if disappointment was a thing
impossible and unknown, she seized the imploring hands
in a grasp that turned them white with its passionate
pressure as she cried
“No, I will not! I have
waited for your love so long I cannot give it up;
you shall not take it from me!”
But as if the words had made the deed
irrevocable, Warwick put her away, speaking with the
stern accent of one who fears a traitor in himself.
“I cannot take from you what
you never had. Stand there and hear me. No;
I will have no blandishments to keep me from my purpose,
no soft words to silence the hard ones I mean to speak,
no more illusions to hide us from each other and ourselves.”
“Adam, you are cruel.”
“Better seem cruel than be treacherous;
better wound your pride now than your heart hereafter,
when too late you discover that I married you without
confidence, respect, or love. For once in your
life you shall hear the truth as plain as words can
make it. You shall see me at my best as at my
worst; you shall know what I have learned to find in
you; shall look back into the life behind us, forward
into the life before us, and if there be any candor
in you I will wring from you an acknowledgment that
you have led me into an unrighteous compact.
Unrighteous, because you have deceived me in yourself,
appealed to the baser, not the nobler instincts in
me, and on such a foundation there can be no abiding
happiness.”
“Go on, I will hear you.”
And conscious that she could not control the will
now thoroughly aroused, Ottila bent before it as if
meekly ready to hear all things for love’s sake.
A disdainful smile passed over Warwick’s
face, as with an eye that fixed and held her own,
he rapidly went on, never pausing to choose smooth
phrases or soften facts, but seeming to find a relish
in the utterance of bitter truths after the honeyed
falsehood he had listened to so long. Yet through
all the harshness glowed the courage of an upright
soul, the fervor of a generous heart.
“I know little of such things
and care less; but I think few lovers pass through
a scene such as this is to be, because few have known
lives like ours, or one such as we. You a woman
stronger for good or ill than those about you, I a
man untamed by any law but that of my own will.
Strength is royal, we both possess it; as kings and
queens drop their titles in their closets, let us
drop all disguises and see each other as God sees
us. This compact must be broken; let me show you
why. Three months ago I came here to take the
chill of an Arctic winter out of blood and brain.
I have done so and am the worse for it. In melting
frost I have kindled fire; a fire that will burn all
virtue out of me unless I quench it at once.
I mean to do so, because I will not keep the ten commandments
before men’s eyes and break them every hour in
my heart.”
He paused a moment, as if hotter words
rose to his lips than generosity would let him utter,
and when he spoke again there was more reproach than
anger in his voice.
“Ottila, till I knew you I loved
no woman but my mother; I wooed no wife, bought no
mistress, desired no friend, but led a life austere
as any monk’s, asking only freedom and my work.
Could you not let me keep my independence? Were
there not men enough who would find no degradation
in a spiritual slavery like this? Would nothing
but my subjection satisfy your unconquerable appetite
for power?”
“Did I seek you, Adam?”
“Yes! Not openly, I grant,
your art was too fine for that; you shunned me that
I might seek you to ask why. In interviews that
seemed to come by chance, you tried every wile a woman
owns, and they are many. You wooed me as such
as you alone can woo the hearts they know are hardest
to be won. You made your society a refreshment
in this climate of the passions; you hid your real
self and feigned that for which I felt most honor.
You entertained my beliefs with largest hospitality;
encouraged my ambitions with a sympathy so genial
that I thought it genuine; professed my scorn for
shammery, and seemed an earnest woman, eager to find
the true, to do the right; a fit wife for any man who
desired a helpmate, not a toy. It showed much
strength of wit and will to conceive and execute the
design. It proved your knowledge of the virtues
you could counterfeit so well, else I never should
have been where I am now.”
“Your commendation is deserved,
though so ungently given, Adam.”
“There will be no more of it.
If I am ungentle, it is because I despise deceit,
and you possess a guile that has given me my first
taste of self-contempt, and the draught is bitter.
Hear me out; for this reminiscence is my justification;
you must listen to the one and accept the other.
You seemed all this, but under the honest friendliness
you showed lurked the purpose you have since avowed,
to conquer most entirely the man who denied your right
to rule by the supremacy of beauty or of sex alone.
You saw the unsuspected fascination that detained
me here when my better self said ‘Go.’
You allured my eye with loveliness, my ear with music;
piqued curiosity, pampered pride, and subdued will
by flatteries subtly administered. Beginning
afar off, you let all influences do their work till
the moment came for the effective stroke. Then
you made a crowning sacrifice of maiden modesty and
owned you loved me.”
Shame burned red on Ottila’s
dark cheek, and ire flamed up in her eyes, as the
untamable spirit of the woman answered against her
will
“It was not made in vain; for,
rebellious as you are, it subdued you, and with your
own weapon, the bare truth.”
He had said truly, “You shall
see me at my best as at worst.” She did,
for putting pride underneath his feet he showed her
a brave sincerity, which she could admire but never
imitate, and in owning a defeat achieved a victory.
“You think I shall deny this.
I do not, but acknowledge to the uttermost that, in
spite of all resistance, I was conquered by a woman.
If it affords you satisfaction to hear this, to know
that it is hard to say, harder still to feel, take
the ungenerous delight; I give it to you as an alms.
But remember that if I have failed, no less have you.
For in that stormy heart of yours there is no sentiment
more powerful than that you feel for me, and through
it you will receive the retribution you have brought
upon yourself. You were elated with success, and
forgot too soon the character you had so well supported.
You thought love blinded me, but there was no love;
and during this month I have learned to know you as
you are. A woman of strong passions and weak principles;
hungry for power and intent on pleasure; accomplished
in deceit and reckless in trampling on the nobler
instincts of a gifted but neglected nature. Ottila,
I have no faith in you, feel no respect for the passion
you inspire, own no allegiance to the dominion you
assert.”
“You cannot throw it off; it is too late.”
It was a rash defiance; she saw that
as it passed her lips, and would have given much to
have recalled it. The stern gravity of Warwick’s
face flashed into a stern indignation. His eye
shone like steel, but his voice dropped lower and
his hand closed like a vice as he said, with the air
of one who cannot conceal but can control sudden wrath
at a taunt to which past weakness gives a double sting
“It never is too late.
If the priest stood ready, and I had sworn to marry
you within the hour, I would break the oath, and God
would pardon it, for no man has a right to embrace
temptation and damn himself by a life-long lie.
You choose to make it a hard battle for me; you are
neither an honest friend nor a generous foe. No
matter, I have fallen into an ambuscade and must cut
my way out as I can, and as I will, for there is enough
of this Devil’s work in the world without our
adding to it.”
“You cannot escape with honor, Adam.”
“I cannot remain with honor.
Do not try me too hardly, Ottila. I am not patient,
but I do desire to be just. I confess my weakness;
will not that satisfy you? Blazon your wrong
as you esteem it; ask sympathy of those who see not
as I see; reproach, defy, lament. I will bear
it all, will make any other sacrifice as an atonement,
but I will ’hold fast mine integrity’
and obey a higher law than your world recognizes, both
for your sake and my own.”
She watched him as he spoke, and to
herself confessed a slavery more absolute than any
he had known, for with a pang she felt that she had
indeed fallen into the snare she spread for him, and
in this man, who dared to own his weakness and her
power, she had found a master. Was it too late
to keep him? She knew that soft appeals were vain,
tears like water on a rock, and with the skill that
had subdued him once she endeavored to retrieve her
blunder by an equanimity which had more effect than
prayers or protestations. Warwick had read her
well, had shown her herself stripped of all disguises,
and left her no defence but tardy candor. She
had the wisdom to see this, the wit to use it and
restore the shadow of the power whose substance she
had lost. Leaving her beauty to its silent work,
she fixed on him eyes whose lustre was quenched in
unshed tears, and said with an earnest, humble voice
“I, too, desire to be just.
I will not reproach, defy, or lament, but leave my
fate to you. I am all you say, yet in your judgment
remember mercy, and believe that at twenty-five there
is still hope for the noble but neglected nature,
still time to repair the faults of birth, education,
and orphanhood. You say, I have a daring will,
a love of conquest. Can I not will to overcome
myself and do it? Can I not learn to be the woman
I have seemed? Love has worked greater miracles,
may it not work this? I have longed to be a truer
creature than I am; have seen my wasted gifts, felt
my capacity for better things, and looked for help
from many sources, but never found it till you came.
Do you wonder that I tried to make it mine? Adam,
you are a self-elected missionary to the world’s
afflicted; you can look beyond external poverty and
see the indigence of souls. I am a pauper in
your eyes; stretch out your hand and save me from
myself.”
Straight through the one vulnerable
point in the man’s pride went this appeal to
the man’s pity. Indignation could not turn
it aside, contempt blunt its edge, or wounded feeling
lessen its force; and yet it failed: for in Adam
Warwick justice was stronger than mercy, reason than
impulse, head than heart. Experience was a teacher
whom he trusted; he had weighed this woman and found
her wanting; truth was not in her; the patient endeavor,
the hard-won success so possible to many was hardly
so to her, and a union between them could bring no
lasting good to either. He knew this; had decided
it in a calmer hour than the present, and by that
decision he would now abide proof against all attacks
from without or from within. More gently, but
as inflexibly as before, he said
“I do put out my hand and offer
you the same bitter draught of self-contempt that
proved a tonic to my own weak will. I can help,
pity, and forgive you heartily, but I dare not marry
you. The tie that binds us is a passion of the
senses, not a love of the soul. You lack the
moral sentiment that makes all gifts and graces subservient
to the virtues that render womanhood a thing to honor
as well as love. I can relinquish youth, beauty,
worldly advantages, but I must reverence above all
others the woman whom I marry, and feel an affection
that elevates me by quickening all that is noblest
and manliest in me. With you I should be either
a tyrant or a slave. I will be neither, but go
solitary all my life rather than rashly mortgage the
freedom kept inviolate so long, or let the impulse
of an hour mar the worth of coming years.”
Bent and broken by the unanswerable
accusations of what seemed a conscience in human shape,
Ottila had sunk down before him with an abandonment
as native to her as the indomitable will which still
refused to relinquish hope even in despair.
“Go,” she said, “I
am not worthy of salvation. Yet it is hard, very
hard, to lose the one motive strong enough to save
me, the one sincere affection of my life.”
Warwick had expected a tempestuous
outbreak at his decision; this entire submission touched
him, for in the last words of her brief lament he
detected the accent of truth, and longed to answer
it. He paused, searching for the just thing to
be done. Ottila, with hidden face, watched while
she wept, and waited hopefully for the relenting sign.
In silence the two, a modern Samson and Delilah, waged
the old war that has gone on ever since the strong
locks were shorn and the temple fell; a war which
fills the world with unmated pairs and the long train
of evils arising from marriages made from impulse,
and not principle. As usual, the most generous
was worsted. The silence pleaded well for Ottila,
and when Warwick spoke it was to say impetuously
“You are right! It is hard
that when two err one alone should suffer. I
should have been wise enough to see the danger, brave
enough to fly from it. I was not, and I owe you
some reparation for the pain my folly brings you.
I offer you the best, because the hardest, sacrifice
that I can make. You say love can work miracles,
and that yours is the sincerest affection of your
life; prove it. In three months you conquered
me; can you conquer yourself in twelve?”
“Try me!”
“I will. Nature takes a
year for her harvests; I give you the same for yours.
If you will devote one half the energy and care to
this work that you devoted to that other, will
earnestly endeavor to cherish all that is womanly
and noble in yourself, and through desire for another’s
respect earn your own, I, too, will try
to make myself a fitter mate for any woman, and keep
our troth unbroken for a year. Can I do more?”
“I dared not ask so much!
I have not deserved it, but I will. Only love
me, Adam, and let me save myself through you.”
Flushed and trembling with delight
she rose, sure the trial was safely passed, but found
that for herself a new one had begun. Warwick
offered his hand.
“Farewell, then.”
“Going? Surely you will stay and help me
through my long probation?”
“No; if your desire has any
worth you can work it out alone. We should be
hindrances to one another, and the labor be ill done.”
“Where will you go? Not far, Adam.”
“Straight to the North.
This luxurious life enervates me; the pestilence of
slavery lurks in the air and infects me; I must build
myself up anew and find again the man I was.”
“When must you go? Not soon.”
“At once.”
“I shall hear from you?”
“Not till I come.”
“But I shall need encouragement,
shall grow hungry for a word, a thought from you.
A year is very long to wait and work alone.”
Eloquently she pleaded with voice
and eyes and tender lips, but Warwick did not yield.
“If the test be tried at all
it must be fairly tried. We must stand entirely
apart and see what saving virtue lies in self-denial
and self-help.”
“You will forget me, Adam.
Some woman with a calmer heart than mine will teach
you to love as you desire to love, and when my work
is done it will be all in vain.”
“Never in vain if it be well
done, for such labor is its own reward. Have
no fear; one such lesson will last a lifetime.
Do your part heartily, and I will keep my pledge until
the year is out.”
“And then, what then?”
“If I see in you the progress
both should desire, if this tie bears the test of
time and absence, and we find any basis for an abiding
union, then, Ottila, I will marry you.”
“But if meanwhile that colder,
calmer woman comes to you, what then?”
“Then I will not marry you.”
“Ah, your promise is a man’s
vow, made only to be broken. I have no faith
in you.”
“I think you may have.
There will be no time for more folly; I must repair
the loss of many wasted days, nay, not wasted
if I have learned this lesson well. Rest secure;
it is impossible that I should love.”
“You believed that three months
ago and yet you are a lover now.”
Ottila smiled an exultant smile, and
Warwick acknowledged his proven fallibility by a haughty
flush and a frank amendment.
“Let it stand, then, that if
I love again I am to wait in silence till the year
is out and you absolve me from my pledge. Does
that satisfy you?”
“It must. But you will
come, whatever changes may befall you? Promise
me this.”
“I promise it.”
“Going so soon? Oh, wait a little!”
“When a duty is to be done,
do it at once; delay is dangerous. Good night.”
“Give me some remembrance of
you. I have nothing, for you are not a generous
lover.”
“Generous in deeds, Ottila.
I have given you a year’s liberty, a dear gift
from one who values it more than life. Now I add
this.”
He drew her to him, kissed the red
mouth and looked down upon her with a glance that
made his man’s face as pitiful as any woman’s
as he let her lean there happy in the hope given at
such cost. For a moment nothing stirred in the
room but the soft whisper of the wind. For a moment
Warwick’s austere life looked hard to him, love
seemed sweet, submission possible; for in all the
world this was the only woman who clung to him, and
it was beautiful to cherish and be cherished after
years of solitude. A long sigh of desire and
regret broke from him, and at the sound a stealthy
smile touched Ottila’s lips as she whispered,
with a velvet cheek against his own
“Love, you will stay?”
“I will not stay!”
And like one who cries out sharply
within himself, “Get thee behind me!”
he broke away.
“Adam, come back to me! Come back!”
He looked over his shoulder, saw the
fair woman in the heart of the warm glow, heard her
cry of love and longing, knew the life of luxurious
ease that waited for him, but steadily went out into
the night, only answering
“In a year.”