“This has been a dull, prosy
day,” yawned Phil, stretching herself idly on
the sofa, having previously dispossessed two exceedingly
indignant cats.
Anne looked up from Pickwick Papers.
Now that spring examinations were over she was treating
herself to Dickens.
“It has been a prosy day for
us,” she said thoughtfully, “but to some
people it has been a wonderful day. Some one has
been rapturously happy in it. Perhaps a great
deed has been done somewhere today or a
great poem written or a great man born.
And some heart has been broken, Phil.”
“Why did you spoil your pretty
thought by tagging that last sentence on, honey?”
grumbled Phil. “I don’t like to think
of broken hearts or anything unpleasant.”
“Do you think you’ll be
able to shirk unpleasant things all your life, Phil?”
“Dear me, no. Am I not
up against them now? You don’t call Alec
and Alonzo pleasant things, do you, when they simply
plague my life out?”
“You never take anything seriously, Phil.”
“Why should I? There are
enough folks who do. The world needs people like
me, Anne, just to amuse it. It would be a terrible
place if everybody were intellectual and serious
and in deep, deadly earnest. My mission
is, as Josiah Allen says, ‘to charm and allure.’
Confess now. Hasn’t life at Patty’s
Place been really much brighter and pleasanter this
past winter because I’ve been here to leaven
you?”
“Yes, it has,” owned Anne.
“And you all love me even
Aunt Jamesina, who thinks I’m stark mad.
So why should I try to be different? Oh, dear,
I’m so sleepy. I was awake until one last
night, reading a harrowing ghost story. I read
it in bed, and after I had finished it do you suppose
I could get out of bed to put the light out?
No! And if Stella had not fortunately come in
late that lamp would have burned good and bright till
morning. When I heard Stella I called her in,
explained my predicament, and got her to put out the
light. If I had got out myself to do it I knew
something would grab me by the feet when I was getting
in again. By the way, Anne, has Aunt Jamesina
decided what to do this summer?”
“Yes, she’s going to stay
here. I know she’s doing it for the sake
of those blessed cats, although she says it’s
too much trouble to open her own house, and she hates
visiting.”
“What are you reading?”
“Pickwick.”
“That’s a book that always
makes me hungry,” said Phil. “There’s
so much good eating in it. The characters seem
always to be reveling on ham and eggs and milk punch.
I generally go on a cupboard rummage after reading
Pickwick. The mere thought reminds me that I’m
starving. Is there any tidbit in the pantry,
Queen Anne?”
“I made a lemon pie this morning. You may
have a piece of it.”
Phil dashed out to the pantry and
Anne betook herself to the orchard in company with
Rusty. It was a moist, pleasantly-odorous night
in early spring. The snow was not quite all gone
from the park; a little dingy bank of it yet lay under
the pines of the harbor road, screened from the influence
of April suns. It kept the harbor road muddy,
and chilled the evening air. But grass was growing
green in sheltered spots and Gilbert had found some
pale, sweet arbutus in a hidden corner. He came
up from the park, his hands full of it.
Anne was sitting on the big gray boulder
in the orchard looking at the poem of a bare, birchen
bough hanging against the pale red sunset with the
very perfection of grace. She was building a castle
in air a wondrous mansion whose sunlit
courts and stately halls were steeped in Araby’s
perfume, and where she reigned queen and chatelaine.
She frowned as she saw Gilbert coming through the
orchard. Of late she had managed not to be left
alone with Gilbert. But he had caught her fairly
now; and even Rusty had deserted her.
Gilbert sat down beside her on the
boulder and held out his Mayflowers.
“Don’t these remind you
of home and our old schoolday picnics, Anne?”
Anne took them and buried her face in them.
“I’m in Mr. Silas Sloane’s
barrens this very minute,” she said rapturously.
“I suppose you will be there in reality in a
few days?”
“No, not for a fortnight.
I’m going to visit with Phil in Bolingbroke
before I go home. You’ll be in Avonlea before
I will.”
“No, I shall not be in Avonlea
at all this summer, Anne. I’ve been offered
a job in the Daily News office and I’m going
to take it.”
“Oh,” said Anne vaguely.
She wondered what a whole Avonlea summer would be
like without Gilbert. Somehow she did not like
the prospect. “Well,” she concluded
flatly, “it is a good thing for you, of course.”
“Yes, I’ve been hoping
I would get it. It will help me out next year.”
“You mustn’t work too
hard,” said Anne, without any very clear
idea of what she was saying. She wished desperately
that Phil would come out. “You’ve
studied very constantly this winter. Isn’t
this a delightful evening? Do you know, I found
a cluster of white violets under that old twisted
tree over there today? I felt as if I had discovered
a gold mine.”
“You are always discovering
gold mines,” said Gilbert also absently.
“Let us go and see if we can
find some more,” suggested Anne eagerly.
“I’ll call Phil and ”
“Never mind Phil and the violets
just now, Anne,” said Gilbert quietly, taking
her hand in a clasp from which she could not free it.
“There is something I want to say to you.”
“Oh, don’t say it,”
cried Anne, pleadingly. “Don’t please,
Gilbert.”
“I must. Things can’t
go on like this any longer. Anne, I love you.
You know I do. I I can’t tell
you how much. Will you promise me that some day
you’ll be my wife?”
“I I can’t,”
said Anne miserably. “Oh, Gilbert you you’ve
spoiled everything.”
“Don’t you care for me
at all?” Gilbert asked after a very dreadful
pause, during which Anne had not dared to look up.
“Not not in that
way. I do care a great deal for you as a friend.
But I don’t love you, Gilbert.”
“But can’t you give me some hope that
you will yet?”
“No, I can’t,” exclaimed
Anne desperately. “I never, never can love
you in that way Gilbert.
You must never speak of this to me again.”
There was another pause so
long and so dreadful that Anne was driven at last
to look up. Gilbert’s face was white to
the lips. And his eyes but Anne shuddered
and looked away. There was nothing romantic about
this. Must proposals be either grotesque or horrible?
Could she ever forget Gilbert’s face?
“Is there anybody else?” he asked at last
in a low voice.
“No no,” said
Anne eagerly. “I don’t care for any
one like that and I like you
better than anybody else in the world, Gilbert.
And we must we must go on being friends,
Gilbert.”
Gilbert gave a bitter little laugh.
“Friends! Your friendship
can’t satisfy me, Anne. I want your love and
you tell me I can never have that.”
“I’m sorry. Forgive
me, Gilbert,” was all Anne could say. Where,
oh, where were all the gracious and graceful speeches
wherewith, in imagination, she had been wont to dismiss
rejected suitors?
Gilbert released her hand gently.
“There isn’t anything
to forgive. There have been times when I thought
you did care. I’ve deceived myself, that’s
all. Goodbye, Anne.”
Anne got herself to her room, sat
down on her window seat behind the pines, and cried
bitterly. She felt as if something incalculably
precious had gone out of her life. It was Gilbert’s
friendship, of course. Oh, why must she lose
it after this fashion?
“What is the matter, honey?”
asked Phil, coming in through the moonlit gloom.
Anne did not answer. At that
moment she wished Phil were a thousand miles away.
“I suppose you’ve gone
and refused Gilbert Blythe. You are an idiot,
Anne Shirley!”
“Do you call it idiotic to refuse
to marry a man I don’t love?” said Anne
coldly, goaded to reply.
“You don’t know love when
you see it. You’ve tricked something out
with your imagination that you think love, and you
expect the real thing to look like that. There,
that’s the first sensible thing I’ve ever
said in my life. I wonder how I managed it?”
“Phil,” pleaded Anne,
“please go away and leave me alone for a little
while. My world has tumbled into pieces.
I want to reconstruct it.”
“Without any Gilbert in it?” said Phil,
going.
A world without any Gilbert in it!
Anne repeated the words drearily. Would it not
be a very lonely, forlorn place? Well, it was
all Gilbert’s fault. He had spoiled their
beautiful comradeship. She must just learn to
live without it.