Mists blew about the mountains across
the river, and over West Point hung a raw fog.
Some of the officers who stood with bared heads by
the heap of earth and the hole in the ground shivered
a little. The young Chaplain read, solemnly,
the solemn and grand words of the service, and the
evenness of his voice was unnatural enough to show
deep feeling. He remembered how, a year before,
he had seen the hero of this scene playing football
on just such a day, tumbling about and shouting, his
hair wild and matted and his face filled with fresh
color. Such a mere boy he was, concerned over
the question as to where he could hide his contraband
dress boots, excited by an invitation to dine out Saturday
night. The dear young chap! There were tears
in the Chaplain’s eyes as he thought of little
courtesies to himself, of little generosities to other
cadets, of a manly and honest heart shown everywhere
that character may show in the guarded life of the
nation’s schoolboys.
The sympathetic, ringing voice stopped,
and he watched the quick, dreadful, necessary work
of the men at the grave, and then his sad eyes wandered
pitifully over the rows of boyish faces where the cadets
stood. Just such a child as those, thought the
Chaplain-himself but a few years older-no
history; no life, as we know life; no love, and what
was life without-you may see that the Chaplain
was young; the poor boy was taken from these quiet
ways and sent direct on the fire-lit stage of history,
and in the turn, behold! he was a hero. The white-robed
Chaplain thrilled and his dark eyes flashed. He
seemed to see that day; he would give half his life
to have seen it-this boy had given all of
his. The boy was wounded early, and as the bullets
poured death down the hill he crept up it, on hands
and knees, leading his men. The strong life in
him lasted till he reached the top, and then the last
of it pulled him to his feet and he stood and waved
and cheered-and fell. But he went
up San Juan Hill. After all, he lived. He
missed fifty years, perhaps, but he had Santiago.
The flag wrapped him, he was the honored dead of the
nation. God keep him! The Chaplain turned
with a swing and raised his prayer-book to read the
committal. The long black box-the
boy was very tall-was being lowered gently,
tenderly. Suddenly the heroic vision of Santiago
vanished and he seemed to see again the rumpled head
and the alert, eager, rosy face of the boy playing
football-the head that lay there! An
iron grip caught his throat, and if a sound had come
it would have been a sob. Poor little boy!
Poor little hero! To exchange all life’s
sweetness for that fiery glory! Not to have known
the meaning of living-of loving-of
being loved!
The beautiful, tender voice rang out
again so that each one heard it to the farthest limit
of the great crowd-“We therefore commit
his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust; looking for the general resurrection
in the last day, and the life of the world to come.”
An hour later the boy’s mother
sat in her room at the hotel and opened a tin box
of letters, found with his traps, and given her with
the rest. She had planned it for this time and
had left the box unopened. To-morrow she must
take up life and try to carry it, with the boy gone,
but to-day she must and would be what is called morbid.
She looked over the bend in the river to the white-dotted
cemetery-she could tell where lay the new
mound, flower-covered, above his yellow head.
She looked away quickly and bent over the box in her
lap and turned the key. Her own handwriting met
her eyes first; all her letters for six months back
were there, scattered loosely about the box. She
gathered them up, slipping them through her fingers
to be sure of the writing. Letter after letter,
all hers.
“They were his love-letters,”
she said to herself. “He never had any
others, dear little boy-my dear little boy!”
Underneath were more letters, a package
first; quite a lot of them, thirty, fifty-it
was hard to guess-held together by a rubber
strap. The strap broke as she drew out the first
envelope and they fell all about her, some on the
floor, but she did not notice it, for the address
was in a feminine writing that had a vague familiarity.
She stopped a moment, with the envelope in one hand
and the fingers of the other hand on the folded paper
inside. It felt like a dishonorable thing to
do-like prying into the boy’s secrets,
forcing his confidence; and she had never done that.
Yet some one must know whether these papers of his
should be burned or kept, and who was there but herself?
She drew out the letter. It began “My dearest.”
The boy’s mother stopped short and drew a trembling
breath, with a sharp, jealous pain. She had not
known. Then she lifted her head and saw the dots
of white on the green earth across the bay and her
heart grew soft for that other woman to whom he had
been “dearest” too, who must suffer this
sorrow of losing him too. But she could not read
her letters, she must send them, take them to her,
and tell her that his mother had held them sacred.
She turned to the signature.
“And so you must believe, darling,
that I am and always will be-always, always,
with love and kisses, your own dear, little ’Good
Queen Bess.’”
It was not the sort of an ending to
a letter she would have expected from the girl he
loved, for the boy, though most undemonstrative, had
been intense and taken his affections seriously always.
But one can never tell, and the girl was probably
quite young. But who was she? The signature
gave no clew; the date was two years before, and from
New York-sufficiently vague! She would
have to read until she found the thread, and as she
read the wonder grew that so flimsy a personality
could have held her boy. One letter, two, three,
six, and yet no sign to identify the writer.
She wrote first from New York on the point of starting
for a long stay abroad, and the other letters were
all from different places on the other side.
Once in awhile a familiar name cropped up, but never
to give any clew. There were plenty of people
whom she called by their Christian names, but that
helped nothing. And often she referred to their
engagement-to their marriage to come.
It was hard for the boy’s mother, who believed
she had had his confidence. But there was one
letter from Vienna that made her lighter-hearted as
to that.
“My dear sweet darling,”
it began, “I haven’t written you very often
from here, but then I don’t believe you know
the difference, for you never scold at all, even if
I’m ever so long in writing. And as for
you, you rascal, you write less and less, and shorter
and shorter. If I didn’t know for certain-but
then, of course, you love me? Don’t you,
you dearest boy? Of course you do, and who wouldn’t?
Now don’t think I’m really so conceited
as that, for I only mean it in joke, but in earnest,
I might think it if I let myself, for they make such
a fuss over me here-you never saw anything
like it! The Prince von H -
told Mamma yesterday I was the prettiest girl who
had been here in ten years-what do you
think of that, sir? The officers are as thick
as bees wherever I go, and I ride with them and dance
with them and am having just the loveliest time!
You don’t mind that, do you, darling, even if
we are engaged? Oh, about telling your mother-no,
sir, you just cannot! You’ve begged me
all along to do that, but you might as well stop, for
I won’t. You write more about that than
anything else, it seems to me, and I’ll believe
soon you are more in love with your mother than with
me. So take care! Remember, you promised
that night at the hop at West Point-what
centuries ago it seems, and it was a year and a half!-that
you would not tell a living soul, not even your mother,
until I said so. You see, it might get out and-oh,
what’s the use of fussing? It might spoil
all my good time, and though I’m just as devoted
as ever, and as much in love, you big, handsome thing-yes,
just exactly!-still, I want to have a good
time. Why shouldn’t I? As the Prince
would say, I’m pretty enough-but
that’s nonsense, of course.”
The letter was signed like all the
others “Good Queen Bess,” a foolish enough
name for a girl to call herself, the boy’s mother
thought, a touch contemptuously. She sat several
minutes with that letter in her hand.
“I’ll believe soon that
you are more in love with your mother than you are
with me”-that soothed the sore spot
in her heart wonderfully. Wasn’t it so,
perhaps. It seemed to her that the boy had fallen
into this affair suddenly, impulsively, without realizing
its meaning, and that his loyalty had held him fast,
after the glamour was gone. And perhaps the girl,
too. For the boy had much besides himself, and
there were girls who might think of that.
The next letter went far to confirm this theory.
“Of course I don’t want
to break our engagement,” the girl wrote.
“What makes you ask such a question? I
fully expect to marry you some day, of course, when
I have had my little ‘fling,’ and I should
just go crazy if I thought you didn’t love me
as much as always. You would if you saw me, for
they all say I’m prettier than ever. You
don’t want to break the engagement, do you?
Please, please, don’t say so, for I couldn’t
bear it.”
And in the next few lines she mentioned
herself by name. It was a well-known name to
the boy’s mother, that of the daughter of a cousin
with whom she had never been over-intimate. She
had had notes from the girl a few times, once or twice
from abroad, which accounted for the familiarity of
the writing. So she gathered the letters together,
the last one dated only a month before, and put them
one side to send back.
“She will soon get over it,”
she said, and sighed as she turned to the papers still
left in the bottom of the box. There were only
a few, a thin packet of six or eight, and one lying
separate. She slipped the rubber band from the
packet and looked hard at the irregular, strong writing,
woman’s or man’s, it was hard to say which.
Then she spread out the envelopes and took them in
order by the postmarks. The first was a little
note, thanking him for a book, a few lines of clever
nothing signed by a woman’s name which she had
never heard.
“My dear Mr. -,”
it ran. “Indeed you did get ahead of ‘all
the others’ in sending me ‘The Gentleman
from Indiana,’ So far ahead that the next man
in the procession is not even in sight yet. I
hate to tell you that, but honesty demands it.
I have taken just one sidewise peep at ’The
Gentleman’-and like his looks immensely-but
to-morrow night I am going to pretend I have a headache
and stay home from the concert where the family are
going, and turn cannibal and devour him. I hope
nothing will interrupt me. Unless-I
wonder if you are conceited enough to imagine what
is one of the very few things I would like to have
interrupt me? After that bit of boldness I think
I must stop writing to you. I mean it just the
same. And thanking you a thousand times again,
I am,
“Sincerely
yours.”
There were four or five more of this
sort, sometimes only a day or two, sometimes a month
apart; always with some definite reason for the writing,
flowers or books to thank him for, a walk to arrange,
an invitation to dinner. Charming, bright, friendly
notes, with the happy atmosphere of a perfect understanding
between them, of mutual interests and common enthusiasms.
“She was very different from
the other,” the boy’s mother sighed, as
she took up an unread letter-there were
but two more. There was no harm in reading such
letters as these, she thought with relief, and noticed
as she drew the paper from the envelope that the postmark
was two months later.
“You want me to write once that
I love you”-that is the way it began.
The woman who read dropped it suddenly
as if it had burned her. Was it possible?
Her light-hearted boy, whose short life she had been
so sure had held nothing but a boy’s, almost
a child’s, joys and sorrows! The other
affair was surprise enough, and a sad surprise, yet
after all it had not touched him deeply, she felt
certain of that; but this was another question.
She knew instinctively that if love had grown from
such a solid foundation as this sweet and happy and
reasonable friendship with this girl, whose warm heart
and deep soul shone through her clear and simple words,
it would be a different love from anything that other
poor, flimsy child could inspire. “L’amitie,
c’est l’amour sans ailes.”
But sometimes when men and women have let the quiet,
safe god Friendship fold his arms gently around them,
he spreads suddenly a pair of sinning wings and carries
them off-to heaven-wherever he
wills it, and only then they see that he is not Friendship,
but Love.
She picked up the letter again and read on:
“You want me to write once that
I love you, so that you may read it with your eyes,
if you may not hear it with your ears. Is that
it-is that what you want, dear? Which
question is a foolish sort of way for me to waste
several drops of ink, considering that your letter
is open before me. And your picture just back
of it, your brown eyes looking over the edge so eagerly,
so actually alive that it seems very foolish to be
making signs to you on paper at all. How much
simpler just to say half a word and then-then!
Only we two can fill up that dash, but we can fill
it full, can’t we? However, I’m not
doing what you want, and-will you not tell
yourself, if I tell you something? To do what
you want is just the one thing on earth I like most
to do. I think you have magnetized me into a
jelly-fish, for at times I seem to have no will at
all. I believe if you asked me to do the Chinese
kotow, and bend to the earth before you, I’d
secretly be dying to do it. But I wouldn’t,
you know, I promise you that. I give you credit
for liking a live woman, with a will of her own, better
than a jelly-fish. And anyway I wouldn’t-if
you liked me for it or not-so you see it’s
no use urging me. And still I haven’t done
what you want-what was it now? Oh,
to tell you that-but the words frighten
me, they are so big. That I-I-I-love
you. Is it that? I haven’t said it
yet, remember. I’m only asking a question.
Do you know I have an objection to sitting here in
cold blood and writing that down in cold ink?
If it were only a little dark now, and your shoulder-and
I could hide my head-you can’t get
off for a minute? Ah, I am scribbling along light-heartedly,
when all the time the sword of Damocles is hanging
over us both, when my next letter may have to be good-by
for always. If that fate comes you will find me
steady to stand by you, to help you. I will say
those three little words, so little and so big, to
you once again, and then I will live them by giving
up what is dearest to me-that’s you,
dear-that your ‘conduct’ may
not be ‘unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.’
You must keep your word. If the worst comes,
will you always remember that as an American woman’s
patriotism. There could be none truer. I
could send you marching off to Cuba-and
how about that, is it war surely?-with a
light heart, knowing that you were giving yourself
for a holy cause and going to honor and fame, though
perhaps, dear, to a soldier’s death. And
I would pray for you and remember your splendid strength,
and think always of seeing you march home again, and
then only your mother could be more proud than I.
That would be easy, in comparison. Write me about
the war-but, of course, you would not be
sent.
“Now here is the very end of
my letter, and I haven’t yet said it-what
you wanted. But here it Is, bend your head, from
away up there, and listen. Now-do
you hear-I love you. Good-by, good-by,
I love you.”
The papers rustled softly in the silent
room, and the boy’s mother, as she put the letter
back, kissed it, and it was as if ghostly lips touched
hers, for the boy had kissed those words, she knew.
The next was only a note, written
just before his sailing to Cuba.
“A fair voyage and a short one,
a good fight and a quick one,” the note said.
“It is my country as well as yours you are going
to fight for, and I give you with all my heart.
All of it will be with you and all my thoughts, too,
every minute of every day, so you need never wonder
if I’m thinking of you. And soon the Spaniards
will be beaten and you’ll be coming home again
‘crowned with glory and honor,’ and the
bands will play fighting music, and the flag will
be flying over you, for you, and in all proud America
there will be no prouder soul than I-unless
it is your mother. Good-by, good-by-God
be with you, my very dearest.”
He had come home “crowned with
glory and honor.” And the bands had played
martial music for him. But his horse stood riderless
by his grave, and the empty cavalry boots hung, top
down, from the saddle.
Loose in the bottom of the box lay
a folded sheet of paper, and, hidden under it, an
envelope, the face side down. When the boy’s
mother opened the paper, it was his own crabbed, uneven
writing that met her eye.
“They say there will be a fight
to-morrow,” he wrote, “and we’re
likely to be in it. If I come out right, you
will not see this, and I hope I shall, for the world
is sweet with you in it. But if I’m hit,
then this will go to you. I’m leaving a
line for my mother and will enclose this and ask her
to send it to you. You must find her and be good
to her, if that happens. I want you to know that
if I die, my last thought will have been of you, and
if I have the chance to do anything worth while, it
will be for your sake. I could die happy if I
might do even a small thing that would make you proud
of me.”
The sorrowful woman drew a long, shivering
breath as she thought of the magnificent courage of
that painful passing up San Juan Hill, wounded, crawling
on, with a pluck that the shades of death could not
dim. Would she be proud of him?
The line for herself he had never
written. There was only the empty envelope lying
alone in the box. She turned it in her hand and
saw it was addressed to the girl to whom he had been
engaged. Slowly it dawned on her that to every
appearance this envelope belonged to the letter she
had just read, his letter of the night before the battle.
She recoiled at the thought-those last
sacred words of his, to go to that empty-souled girl!
All that she would find in them would be a little
fuel for her vanity, while the other-she
put her fingers on the irregular, back writing, and
felt as if a strong young hand held hers again.
She would understand, that other; she had thought of
his mother in the stress of her own strongest feeling;
she had loved him for himself, not for vanity.
This letter was hers, the mother knew it. And
yet the envelope, with the other address, had lain
just under it, and she had been his promised wife.
She could not face her boy in heaven if this last
earthly wish of his should go wrong through her.
How could she read the boy’s mind now?
What was right to do?
The twilight fell over Crow Nest,
and over the river and the heaped-up mountains that
lie about West Point, and in the quiet room the boy’s
mother sat perplexed, uncertain, his letter in her
hands; yet with a vague sense of coming comfort in
her heart as she thought of the girl who would surely
“find her and be good to her,” But across
the water, on the hillside, the boy lay quiet.