HOW ELKAN LUBLINER GRADUATED INTO SALESMANSHIP
“When I hire a salesman, Mr.
Klugfels,” said Marcus Polatkin, senior partner
of Polatkin & Scheikowitz, “I hire him because
he’s a salesman, not because he’s a nephew.”
“But it don’t do any harm
for a salesman to have an uncle whose concern would
buy in one season from you already ten thousand dollars
goods, Mr. Polatkin,” Klugfels insisted.
“Furthermore, Harry is a bright, smart boy;
and you can take it from me, Mr. Polatkin, not alone
he would get my trade, but us buyers is got a whole
lot of influence one with the other, understand me;
so, if there’s any other concern you haven’t
on your books at present, you could rely on me I should
do my best for Harry and you.”
Thus spoke Mr. Felix Klugfels, buyer
for Appenweier & Murray’s Thirty-second Street
store, on the first Monday of January; and in consequence
on the second Monday of January Harry Flaxberg came
to work as city salesman for Polatkin & Scheikowitz.
He also maintained the rôle of party of the second
part in a contract drawn by Henry D. Feldman, whose
skill in such matters is too well known for comment
here. Sufficient to say it fixed Harry Flaxberg’s
compensation at thirty dollars a week and moderate
commissions. At Polatkin’s request, however,
the document was so worded that it excluded Flaxberg
from selling any of the concerns already on Polatkin
& Scheikowitz’s books; for not only did he doubt
Flaxberg’s ability as a salesman, but he was
quite conscious of the circumstance that, save for
the acquisition of Appenweier & Murray’s account,
there was no need of their hiring a city salesman at
all, since the scope of their business operations
required only one salesman to wit, as the
lawyers say, Marcus Polatkin himself. On the other
hand, Klugfels had insisted upon the safeguarding
of his nephew’s interests, so that the latter
was reasonably certain of a year’s steady employment.
Hence, when, on the first Monday of February, Appenweier
& Murray dispensed with the services of Mr. Klugfels
before he had had the opportunity of bestowing even
one order on his nephew as a mark of his favour, the
business premises of Polatkin & Scheikowitz became
forthwith a house of mourning. From the stricken
principals down to and including the shipping clerk
nothing else was spoken of or thought about for a
period of more than two weeks. Neither was it
a source of much consolation to Marcus Polatkin when
he heard that Klugfels had been supplanted by Max
Lapin, a third cousin of Leon Sammet of the firm of
Sammet Brothers.
“Ain’t it terrible the
way people is related nowadays?” he said to
Scheikowitz, who had just read aloud the news of Max
Lapin’s hiring in the columns of the Daily
Cloak and Suit Record.
“Honestly, Scheikowitz, if a
feller ain’t got a lot of retailers oder
buyers for distance relations, understand me, he might
just so well go out of business and be done with it!”
Scheikowitz threw down the paper impatiently.
“That’s where you are
making a big mistake, Polatkin,” he said.
“A feller which he expects to do business with
relations is just so good as looking for trouble.
You could never depend on relations that they are
going to keep on buying goods from you, Polatkin.
The least little thing happens between relations,
understand me, and they are getting right away enemies
for life; while, if it was just between friends, Polatkin,
one friend makes for the other a blue eye, understand
me, and in two weeks’ time they are just so
good friends as ever. So, even if Appenweier
& Murray wouldn’t fire him, y’understand,
Klugfels would have dumped this young feller on us
anyway.”
As he spoke he looked through the
office door toward the showroom, where Harry Flaxberg
sat with his feet cocked up on a sample table midway
in the perusal of the sporting page.
“Flaxberg,” Scheikowitz
cried, “what are we showing here anyway garments
oder shoes? You are ruining our sample
tables the way you are acting!”
Flaxberg replaced his feet on the
floor and put down his paper.
“It’s time some one ruined
them tables on you, Mr. Scheikowitz,” he said.
“With the junk fixtures you got it here I’m
ashamed to bring a customer into the place at all.”
“That’s all right,”
Scheikowitz retorted; “for all the customers
you are bringing in here, Flaxberg, we needn’t
got no fixtures at all. Come inside the office my
partner wants to speak to you a few words something.”
Flaxberg rose leisurely to his feet
and, carefully shaking each leg in turn to restore
the unwrinkled perfection of his trousers, walked toward
the office.
“Tell me, Flaxberg,” Polatkin
cried as he entered, “what are you going to
do about this here account of Appenweier & Murray’s?”
“What am I going to do about
it?” Flaxberg repeated. “Why, what
could I do about it? Every salesman is liable
to lose one account, Mr. Polatkin.”
“Sure, I know,” Polatkin
answered; “but most every other salesman is got
some other accounts to fall back on. Whereas if
a salesman is just got one account, Flaxberg, and
he loses it, understand me, then he ain’t a
salesman no longer, Flaxberg. Right away he becomes
only a loafer, Flaxberg, and the best thing he could
do, understand me, is to go and find a job somewheres
else.”
“Not when he’s got a contract,
Mr. Polatkin,” Flaxberg retorted promptly.
“And specially a contract which the boss fixes
up himself ain’t it?”
Scheikowitz nodded and scowled savagely at his partner.
“Listen here to me, Flaxberg,”
Polatkin cried. “Do you mean to told me
that, even if a salesman would got ever so much a crazy
contract, understand me, it allows the salesman he
should sit all the time doing nothing in the showroom
without we got a right to fire him?”
“Well,” Flaxberg replied
calmly, “it gives him the privilege to go out
to lunch once in a while.”
He pulled down his waistcoat with
exaggerated care and turned on his heel.
“So I would be back in an hour,”
he concluded; “and if any customers come in
and ask for me tell ’em to take a seat till I
am coming back.”
The two partners watched him until
he put on his hat and coat in the rear of the showroom
and then Polatkin rose to his feet.
“Flaxberg,” he cried, “wait a minute!”
Flaxberg returned to the office and nonchalantly lit
a cigarette.
“Listen here to me, Flaxberg,”
Polatkin began. “Take from us a hundred
and fifty dollars and quit!”
Flaxberg continued the operation of
lighting his cigarette and blew a great cloud of smoke
before replying.
“What for a piker do you think I am anyhow?”
he asked.
“What d’ye mean piker?”
Polatkin said. “A hundred and fifty ain’t
to be sneezed at, Flaxberg.”
“Ain’t it?” Flaxberg
retorted. “Well, with me, I got a more delicate
nose as most people, Mr. Polatkin. I sneeze at
everything under five hundred dollars and
that’s all there is to it.”
Once more he turned on his heel and
walked out of the office; but this time his progress
toward the stairs was more deliberate, for, despite
his defiant attitude, Flaxberg’s finances were
at low ebb owing to a marked reversal of form exhibited
the previous day in the third race at New Orleans.
Moreover, he felt confident that a judicious investment
of a hundred and fifty dollars would net him that
very afternoon at least five hundred dollars, if any
reliance were to be placed on the selection of Merlando,
the eminent sporting writer of the Morning Wireless.
Consequently he afforded every opportunity
for Marcus to call him back, and he even paused at
the factory door and applied a lighted match to his
already burning cigarette. The expected summons
failed, however, and instead he was nearly precipitated
to the foot of the stairs by no less a person than
Elkan Lubliner.
“Excuse me, Mr. Flaxberg,”
Elkan said. “I ain’t seen you at all.”
Flaxberg turned suddenly, but at the
sight of Elkan his anger evaporated as he recalled
a piece of gossip retailed by Sam Markulies, the shipping
clerk, to the effect that, despite his eighteen years,
Elkan had at least two savings-bank accounts and kept
in his pocket a bundle of bills as large as a roll
of piece goods.
“That’s all right,”
Flaxberg cried with a forced grin. “I ain’t
surprised you are pretty near blinded when you are
coming into the daylight out of the cutting room.
It’s dark in there like a tomb.”
“I bet yer,” Elkan said fervently.
“You should get into the air
more often,” Flaxberg went on. “A
feller could get all sorts of things the matter with
him staying in a hole like that.”
“Gott sei dank I got,
anyhow, my health,” Elkan commented.
“Sure, I know,” Flaxberg
said as they reached the street; “but you must
got to take care of it too. A feller which he
don’t get no exercise should ought to eat well,
Lubliner. For instance, I bet yer you are taking
every day your lunch in a bakery ain’t
it?”
Elkan nodded.
“Well, there you are!”
Flaxberg cried triumphantly. “A feller works
all the time in a dark hole like that cutting room,
and comes lunchtime he fresses a bunch of Kuchen
and a cup of coffee, verstehst du and
is it any wonder you are looking sick?”
“I feel all right,” Elkan said.
“I know you feel all right,”
Flaxberg continued, “but you look something
terrible, Lubliner. Just for to-day, Lubliner,
take my advice and try Wasserbauer’s regular
dinner.”
Elkan laughed aloud.
“Wasserbauer’s!”
he exclaimed. “Why, what do you think I
am, Mr. Flaxberg? If I would be a salesman like
you, Mr. Flaxberg, I would say, ‘Yes; eat once
in a while at Wasserbauer’s’; aber
for an assistant cutter, Mr. Flaxberg, Wasserbauer’s
is just so high like the Waldorfer.”
“That’s all right,”
Flaxberg retorted airily. “No one asks you
you should pay for it. Come and have a decent
meal with me.”
For a brief interval Elkan hesitated,
but at length he surrendered, and five minutes later
he found himself seated opposite Harry Flaxberg in
the rear of Wasserbauer’s cafe.
“Yes, Mr. Flaxberg,” he
said as he commenced the fourth of a series of dill
pickles, “compared with a salesman, a cutter
is a dawg’s life ain’t it?”
“Well,” Flaxberg commented,
“he is and he isn’t. There’s
no reason why a cutter shouldn’t enjoy life
too, Lubliner. A cutter could make money on the
side just so good as a salesman. I am acquainted
already with a pants cutter by the name Schmul Kleidermann
which, one afternoon last week, he pulls down two
hundred and fifty dollars yet.”
“Pulls down two hundred and
fifty dollars!” Elkan exclaimed. “From
where he pulls it down, Mr. Flaxberg?”
“Not from the pants business
oser,” Flaxberg replied. “The
feller reads the papers, Lubliner, and that’s
how he makes his money.”
“You mean he is speculating
in these here stocks from stock exchanges?”
Elkan asked.
“Not stocks,” Flaxberg
replied in shocked accents. “From spieling
the stock markets a feller could lose his shirt yet.
Never play the stock markets, Lubliner. That’s
something which you could really say a feller ruins
himself for life with.”
Elkan nodded.
“Even im Russland it’s the same,”
he said.
“Sure,” Flaxberg went
on. “Aber this feller Kleidermann he makes
a study of it. The name of the horse was Prince
Faithful. On New Year’s Day he runs fourth
in a field of six. The next week he is in the
money for a show with such old-timers as Aurora Borealis,
Dixie Lad and Ramble Home and last week
he gets away with it six to one a winner, understand
me; and this afternoon yet, over to Judge Crowley’s,
I could get a price five to two a place, understand
me, which it is like picking up money in the street
already.”
Elkan paused in the process of commencing
the sixth pickle and gazed in wide-eyed astonishment
at his host.
“So you see, Lubliner,”
Flaxberg concluded, “if you would put up twenty
dollars, understand me, you could make fifty dollars
more, like turning your hand over.”
Elkan laid down his half-eaten pickle.
“Do you mean to say you want
me I should put up twenty dollars on a horse which
it is running with other horses a race?” he exclaimed.
“Well,” Flaxberg replied,
“of course, if you got objections to putting
up money on a horse, Lubliner, why, don’t do
it. Lend it me instead the twenty dollars and
I would play it; and if the horse should Gott
soll hueten not be in the money, y’understand,
then I would give you the twenty dollars back Saturday
at the latest. Aber if the horse makes a place,
understand me, then I would give you your money back
this afternoon yet and ten dollars to boot.”
For one wavering moment Elkan raised
the pickle to his lips and then replaced it on the
table. Then he licked off his fingers and explored
the recess of his waistcoat pocket.
“Here,” he said, producing
a dime “here is for the dill pickles,
Mr. Flaxberg.”
“What d’ye mean?” Flaxberg cried.
“I mean this,” Elkan said,
putting on his hat “I mean you should
save your money with me and blow instead your friend
Kleidermann to dinner, because the proposition ain’t
attractive.”
“Yes, Mr. Redman,” Elkan
commented when he resumed his duties as assistant
cutter after the five and a half dill pickles had been
supplemented with a hasty meal of rolls and coffee,
“for a Schlemiel like him to call himself
a salesman honestly, it’s a disgrace!”
He addressed his remarks to Joseph
Redman, head cutter for Polatkin & Scheikowitz, who
plied his shears industriously at an adjoining table.
Joseph, like every other employee of Polatkin & Scheikowitz,
was thoroughly acquainted with the details of Flaxberg’s
hiring and its denouement. Nevertheless, in his
quality of head cutter, he professed a becoming ignorance.
“Who is this which you are knocking now?”
he asked.
“I am knocking some one which
he’s got a right to be knocked,” Elkan
replied. “I am knocking this here feller
Flaxberg, which he calls himself a salesman.
That feller couldn’t sell a drink of water in
the Sahara Desert, Mr. Redman. All he cares about
is gambling and going on theaytres. Why, if I
would be in his shoes, Mr. Redman, I wouldn’t
eat or I wouldn’t sleep till I got from Appenweier
& Murray an order. Never mind if my uncle would
be fired and Mr. Lapin, the new buyer, is a relation
from Sammet Brothers, Mr. Redman, I would get that
account, understand me, or I would verplatz.”
“Yow, you would do wonders!”
Redman said. “The best thing you could
do, Lubliner, is to close up your face and get to work.
You shouldn’t got so much to say for yourself.
A big mouth is only for a salesman, Lubliner.
For a cutter it’s nix, understand me; so you
should give me a rest with this here Appenweier &
Murray’s account and get busy on them 2060’s.
We are behind with ’em as it is.”
Thus admonished, Elkan lapsed into
silence; and for more than half an hour he pursued
his duties diligently.
“Nu!” Redman said
at length. “What’s the matter you
are acting so quiet this afternoon?”
“What d’ye mean I am acting
quiet, Mr. Redman?” Elkan asked. “I
am thinking that’s all. Without
a feller would think once in a while, Mr. Redman,
he remains a cutter all his life.”
“There’s worser things
as cutters,” Redman commented. “For
instance assistant cutters.”
“Sure, I know,” Elkan
agreed; “but salesmen is a whole lot better as
cutters oder assistant cutters. A salesman
sees life, Mr. Redman. He meets oncet in a while
people, Mr. Redman; while, with us, what is it?
We are shut up here like we would be sitting in prison ain’t
it?”
“You ain’t got no kick
coming,” Redman said. “A young feller
only going on eighteen, understand me, is getting
ten dollars a week and he kicks yet. Sitting
in prison, sagt er! Maybe you would like
the concern they should be putting in moving pictures
here or a phonygraft!”
Elkan sighed heavily by way of reply
and for a quarter of an hour longer he worked in quietness,
until Redman grew worried at his assistant’s
unusual taciturnity.
“What’s the trouble you
ain’t talking, Lubliner?” he said.
“Don’t you feel so good?”
Elkan looked up. He was about
to say that he felt all right when suddenly he received
the germ of an inspiration, and in the few seconds
that he hesitated it blossomed into a well-defined
plan of action. He therefore emitted a faint
groan and laid down his shears.
“I got a krank right
here,” he said, placing his hand on his left
side. “Ever since last week I got it.”
“Well, why don’t you say
something about it before?” Redman cried anxiously;
for be it remembered that Elkan Lubliner was not only
the cousin of Marcus Polatkin but the adopted nephew
of Philip Scheikowitz as well. “You shouldn’t
let such things go.”
“The fact is,” Elkan replied,
“I didn’t want to say nothing about it
to Mr. Polatkin on account he’s got enough to
worry him with this here Appenweier & Murray’s
account; and ”
“You got that account on the
brain,” Redman interrupted. “If you
don’t feel so good you should go home.
Leave me fix it for you.”
As he spoke he hastily buttoned on
his collar and left the cutting room, while Elkan
could not forego a delighted grin. After all,
he reflected, he had worked steadily for over a year
and a half with only such holidays as the orthodox
ritual ordained; and he was so busy making plans for
his first afternoon of freedom that he nearly forgot
to groan again when Redman came back with Marcus Polatkin
at his heels.
“Nu, Elkan!” Marcus
said. “What’s the matter? Don’t
you feel good?”
“I got a krank right
here,” Elkan replied, placing his hand on his
right side. “I got it now pretty near a
week already.”
“Well, maybe you should sit
down for the rest of the afternoon and file away the
old cutting slips,” Marcus said, whereat Elkan
moaned and closed his eyes.
“I filed ’em away last
week already,” he murmured. “I think
maybe if I would lay in bed the rest of the afternoon
I would be all right to-morrow.”
Marcus gazed earnestly at his cousin,
whose sufferings seemed to be intensified thereby.
“All right, Elkan,” he
said. “Go ahead. Go home and tell Mrs.
Feinermann she should give you a little Brusttee;
and if you don’t feel better in the morning
don’t take it so particular to get here early.”
Elkan nodded weakly and five minutes
later walked slowly out of the factory. He took
the stairs only a little less slowly, but he gradually
increased his speed as he proceeded along Wooster Street,
until by the time he was out of sight of the firm’s
office windows he was fairly running. Thus he
arrived at his boarding place on Pitt Street in less
than half an hour just in time to interrupt
Mrs. Sarah Feinermann as she was about to start on
a shopping excursion uptown. Mrs. Feinermann
exclaimed aloud at the sight of him, and her complexion
grew perceptibly less florid, for his advent in Pitt
Street at that early hour could have but one meaning.
“What’s the matter you are
getting fired?” she asked.
“What d’ye mean getting
fired?” Elkan replied. “I ain’t
fired. I got an afternoon off.”
Mrs. Feinermann heaved a sigh of relief.
As the recipient of Elkan’s five dollars a week
board-money, payable strictly in advance, she naturally
evinced a hearty interest in his financial affairs.
Moreover, she was distantly related to Elkan’s
father; and owing to this kinship her husband, Marx
Feinermann, foreman for Kupferberg Brothers, was of
the impression that she charged Elkan only three dollars
and fifty cents a week. The underestimate more
than paid Mrs. Feinermann’s millinery bill,
and she was consequently under the necessity of buying
Elkan’s silence with small items of laundry
work and an occasional egg for breakfast. This
arrangement suited Elkan very well indeed; and though
he had eaten his lunch only an hour previously he
thought it the part of prudence to insist that she
prepare a meal for him, by way of maintaining his
privileges as Mrs. Feinermann’s fellow conspirator.
“But I am just now getting dressed
to go uptown,” she protested.
“Where to?” he demanded.
“I got a little shopping to
do,” she said; and Elkan snapped his fingers
in the conception of a brilliant idea.
“Good!” he exclaimed.
“I would go with you. In three minutes I
would wash myself and change my clothes and
I’ll be right with you.”
“But I got to stop in and see
Marx first,” she insisted. “I want
to tell him something.”
“I wanted to tell him something
lots of times already,” Elkan said significantly;
and Mrs. Feinermann sat down in the nearest chair while
Elkan disappeared into the adjoining room and performed
a hasty toilet.
“Schon gut,” he
said as he emerged from his room five minutes later;
“we would go right up to Appenweier & Murray’s.”
“But I ain’t said I am
going up to Appenweier & Murray’s,” Mrs.
Feinermann cried. “Such a high-price place
I couldn’t afford to deal with at all.”
“I didn’t say you could,”
Elkan replied; “but it don’t do no harm
to get yourself used to such places, on account might
before long you could afford to deal there maybe.”
“What d’ye mean I could
afford to deal there before long?” Mrs. Feinermann
inquired.
“I mean this,” Elkan said,
and they started down the stairs “I
mean, if things turn out like the way I want ’em
to, instead of five dollars a week I would give you
five dollars and fifty cents a week.” Here
he paused on the stair-landing to let the news sink
in.
“And furthermore, if you would
act the way I tell you to when we get up there I would
also pay your carfare,” he concluded “one
way.”
When Mrs. Feinermann entered Appenweier
& Murray’s store that afternoon she was immediately
accosted by a floorwalker.
“What do you wish, madam?” he said.
“I want to buy something a dress
for my wife,” Elkan volunteered, stepping from
behind the shadow of Mrs. Feinermann, who for her
thirty-odd years was, to say the least, buxom.
“Your wife?” the floorwalker repeated.
“Sure; why not?” Elkan
replied. “Maybe I am looking young, but
in reality I am old; so you should please show us
the dress department, from twenty-two-fifty to twenty-eight
dollars the garment.”
The floorwalker ushered them into
the elevator and they alighted at the second floor.
“Miss Holzmeyer!” the
floorwalker cried; and in response there approached
a lady of uncertain age but of no uncertain methods
of salesmanship. She was garbed in a silk gown
that might have graced the person of an Austrian grand
duchess, and she rustled and swished as she walked
toward them in what she had always found to be a most
impressive manner.
“The lady wants to see some
dresses,” the floorwalker said; and Miss Holzmeyer
smiled by a rather complicated process, in which her
nose wrinkled until it drew up the corners of her
mouth and made her eyes appear to rest like shoe-buttons
on the tops of her powdered cheeks.
“This way, madam,” she
said as she swung her skirts round noisily.
“One moment,” Elkan interrupted,
for again he had been totally eclipsed by Mrs. Feinermann’s
bulky figure. “You ain’t heard what
my wife wants yet.”
“Your wife!” Miss Holzmeyer exclaimed.
“Sure, my wife,” Elkan
replied calmly. “This is my wife if it’s
all the same to you and you ain’t got no objections.”
He gazed steadily at Miss Holzmeyer,
who began to find her definite methods of salesmanship
growing less definite, until she blushed vividly.
“Not at all,” she said. “Step
this way, please.”
“Yes, Miss Holzmeyer,”
Elkan went on without moving, “as I was telling
you, you ain’t found out yet what my wife wants,
on account a dress could be from twenty dollars the
garment up to a hundred and fifty.”
“We have dresses here as high
as three hundred!” Miss Holzmeyer snapped.
She had discerned that she was beginning to be embarrassed
in the presence of this self-possessed benedick of
youthful appearance, and she resented it accordingly.
“I ain’t doubting it for
a minute,” Elkan replied. “New York
is full of suckers, Miss Holzmeyer; but me and my
wife is looking for something from twenty-two-fifty
to twenty-eight dollars, Miss Holzmeyer.”
Miss Holzmeyer’s temper mounted
with each repetition of her surname, and her final
“Step this way, please!” was uttered in
tones fairly tremulous with rage.
Elkan obeyed so leisurely that by
the time Mrs. Feinermann and he had reached the rear
of the showroom Miss Holzmeyer had hung three dresses
on the back of a chair.
“H’allow me,” Elkan
said as he took the topmost gown by the shoulders
and held it up in front of him. He shook out the
folds and for more than five minutes examined it closely.
“I didn’t want to see
nothing for seventeen-fifty,” he announced at
last “especially from last year’s
style.”
“What do you mean?” Miss
Holzmeyer cried angrily. “That dress is
marked twenty-eight dollars and it just came in last
week. It’s a very smart model indeed.”
“The model I don’t know
nothing about,” Elkan replied, “but the
salesman must of been pretty smart to stuck you folks
like that.”
He subjected another gown to a careful
scrutiny while Miss Holzmeyer sought the showcases
for more garments.
“Now, this one here,”
he said, “is better value. How much you
are asking for this one, please?”
Miss Holzmeyer glanced at the price ticket.
“Twenty-eight dollars,” she replied, with
an indignant glare.
Elkan whistled incredulously.
“You don’t tell me,”
he said. “I always heard it that the expenses
is high uptown, but even if the walls was hung mit
diamonds yet, Miss Holzmeyer, your bosses wouldn’t
starve neither. Do you got maybe a dress for
twenty-eight dollars which it is worth, anyhow, twenty-five
dollars?”
This last jibe was too much for Miss Holzmeyer.
“Mis-ter Lap-in!” she
howled, and immediately a glazed mahogany door in
an adjoining partition burst open and Max Lapin appeared
on the floor of the showroom.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
Miss Holzmeyer sat down in the nearest
chair and fanned herself with her pocket handkerchief.
“This man insulted me!”
she said; whereat Max Lapin turned savagely to Elkan.
“What for you are insulting
this lady?” he demanded as he made a rapid survey
of Elkan’s physical development. He was
quite prepared to defend Miss Holzmeyer’s honour
in a fitting and manly fashion; but, during the few
seconds that supervened his question, Max reflected
that you can never tell about a small man.
“What d’ye mean insult
this lady?” Elkan asked stoutly. “I
never says a word to her. Maybe I ain’t
so long in the country as you are, but I got just
so much respect for the old folks as anybody.
Furthermore, she is showing me here garments which,
honest, Mister er ”
“Lapin,” Max said.
“Mister Lapin, a house with
the reputation of Appenweier & Murray shouldn’t
ought to got in stock at all.”
“Say, lookyhere, young feller,”
Lapin cried, “what are you driving into anyway?
I am buyer here, and if you got any kick coming tell
it to me, and don’t go insulting the salesladies.”
“I ain’t insulted no saleslady,
Mr. Lapin,” Elkan declared. “I am
coming here to buy for my wife a dress and certainly
I want to get for my money some decent value; and
when this lady shows me a garment like this” he
held up the topmost garment “and says
it is from this year a model, understand me, naturally
I got my own idées on the subject.”
Lapin looked critically at the garment in question.
“Did you get this style from
that third case there, Miss Holzmeyer?” he asked,
and Miss Holzmeyer nodded.
“Well, that whole case is full
of leftovers and I don’t want it touched,”
Lapin said. “Now go ahead and show this
gentleman’s wife some more models; and if he
gets fresh let me know that’s all.”
“One minute, Mr. Lapin,”
Elkan said. “Will you do me the favour and
let me show you something?”
He held up the garment last exhibited
by Miss Holzmeyer and pointed to the yoke and its
border.
“This here garment Miss Holzmeyer
shows me for twenty-eight dollars, Mr. Lapin,”
he said, “and with me and my wife here a dollar
means to us like two dollars to most people, Mr. Lapin.
So when I am seeing the precisely selfsame garment
like this in Fine Brothers’ for twenty-six dollars,
but the border is from silk embroidery, a peacock’s
tail design, and the yoke is from gilt net yet, understand
me, I got to say something ain’t
it?”
Lapin paused in his progress toward
his office and even as he did so Elkan’s eyes
strayed to a glass-covered showcase.
“Why, there is a garment just
like Fine Brothers’ model!” he exclaimed.
“Say, lookyhere!” Lapin
demanded as he strode up to the showcase and pulled
out the costume indicated by Elkan. “What
are you trying to tell me? This here model is
thirty-seven dollars and fifty cents; so, if you can
get it for twenty-six at Fine Brothers’, go ahead
and do it!”
“But, Mr. Lapin,” Elkan
said, “that ain’t no way for a buyer of
a big concern like this to talk. I am telling
you, so sure as you are standing there and I should
never move from this spot, the identical selfsame
style Fine Brothers got it for twenty-six dollars.
I know it, Mr. Lapin, because we are making up that
garment in our factory yet, and Fine Brothers takes
from us six of that model at eighteen-fifty apiece.”
At this unguarded disclosure Lapin’s
face grew crimson with rage.
“You are making it up in your
factory!” he cried. “Why, you dirty
faker you, what the devil you are coming round here
bluffing that you want to buy a dress for your wife
for?”
Elkan broke into a cold perspiration
and looked round for Mrs. Feinermann, the substantial
evidence of his marital state; but at the very beginning
of Max Lapin’s indignant outburst she had discreetly
taken the first stairway to the right.
“Bring that woman back here!”
Max roared. Miss Holzmeyer made a dash for the
stairway, and before Elkan had time to formulate even
a tentative plan of escape she had returned with her
quarry.
“What do you want from me?”
Mrs. Feinermann gasped. Her hat was awry, and
what had once been a modish pompadour was toppled to
one side and shed hairpins with every palsied nod
of her head. “I ain’t done nothing!”
she protested.
“Sure, you ain’t,”
Elkan said; “so you should keep your mouth shut that’s
all.”
“I would keep my mouth shut
oder not as I please,” Mrs. Feinermann
retorted. “Furthermore, you ain’t
got no business to get me mixed up in this Geschichte
at all!”
“Who are you two anyway?” Max demanded.
“This here feller is a young
feller by the name of Elkan Lubliner which he is working
by Polatkin & Scheikowitz,” Mrs. Feinermann announced;
“and what he is bringing me up here for is more
than I could tell you.”
“Ain’t he your husband?” Max asked.
“Oser a Stueck!”
Mrs. Feinermann declared fervently. “A kid
like him should be my husband! An idée!”
“That’s all right,”
Elkan rejoined. “Im Russland at my age
many a young feller is got twins yet!”
“What’s that got to do with it?”
Max Lapin demanded.
“It ain’t got nothing
to do with it,” Elkan said, “but it shows
that a young feller like me which he is raised in
the old country ain’t such a kid as you think
for, Mr. Lapin. And when I am telling you that
the concern which sells you them goods to retail for
twenty-eight dollars is sticking you good, understand
me, you could take my word for it just the same like
I would be fifty-five even.”
Again he seized one of the garments.
“And what’s more,”
he went on breathlessly, “the workmanship is
rotten. Look at here! the seams is
falling to pieces already!”
He thrust the garment under Lapin’s
nose with one hand, while with the other he dug down
into his trousers pocket.
“Here!” he shouted. “Here is
money fifty dollars!”
He dropped the gown and held out a roll of bills toward
Lapin.
“Take it!” he said hysterically.
“Take it all; and if I don’t bring you
to-morrow morning, first thing, this same identical
style, only A-number-one workmanship, which you could
retail for twenty dollars a garment, understand me,
keep the money and fertig.”
At this juncture the well-nourished
figure of Louis Appenweier, senior member of Appenweier
& Murray, appeared in the door of the elevator and
Max Lapin turned on his heel.
“Come into my office,”
he hissed; and as he started for the glazed mahogany
door he gathered up the remaining garments and took
them with him.
For more than half an hour Elkan and
Max Lapin remained closeted together, and during that
period Elkan conducted a clinic over each garment
to such good purpose that Max sent out from time to
time for more expensive styles. All of these
were in turn examined by Elkan, who recognized in
at least six models the designs of Joseph Redman, slightly
altered in the stealing by Leon Sammet.
“Yes, Mr. Lapin,” Elkan
said, “them models was all designed by our own
designer and some one ganvered ’em on
us. Furthermore, I could bring you here to-morrow
morning at eight o’clock from our sample racks
these same identical models, with the prices on ’em
marked plain like the figures on a ten-dollar bill,
understand me; and if they ain’t from twenty
to thirty per cent. lower as you paid for these here
garments I’d eat ’em!”
For at least ten minutes Max Lapin
sat with knitted brows and pondered Elkan’s
words.
“Eight o’clock is too
early,” he announced at last. “Make
it half-past nine.”
“Six, even, ain’t too
early for an up-to-date buyer to look at some genuine
bargains,” Elkan insisted; “and, besides,
I must got to get back to the shop at nine.”
“But ” Lapin began.
“But nothing, Mr. Lapin,”
Elkan said, rising to his feet. “Make it
eight o’clock, and the next time I would come
round at half-past nine.”
“What d’ye mean the next time?”
Lapin exclaimed.
“I mean this wouldn’t
be the last time we do business together, because
the job as assistant cutter which I got it is just
temporary, Mr. Lapin,” he said as he started
for the door “just temporary that’s
all.”
He paused with his hand on the doorknob.
“See you at eight o’clock
to-morrow morning,” he said cheerfully; and
five minutes later he was having hard work to keep
from dancing his way down Thirty-third Street to the
subway.
From half-past seven in the morning
until six at night were the working hours of all Polatkin
& Scheikowitz’s employees, save only Sam Markulies,
the shipping clerk, whose duty it was to unlock the
shop at quarter-past seven sharp. This hour had
been fixed by Philip Scheikowitz himself, who, on
an average of once a month, would stroll into the
shipping department at closing-time and announce his
intention of going to a wedding that evening.
Sometimes the proposed excursion was a pinocle party
or a visit to the theatre, but the denouement was always
the same. The next morning Scheikowitz would arrive
at the factory door precisely at quarter-past seven
to find Markulies from five to ten minutes late; whereupon
Markulies would receive his discharge, to take effect
the following Saturday night and for the
ensuing month his punctuality was assured.
During the quarter of an hour which
preceded the arrival of the other employees, Markulies
usually dusted the office and showroom; and on the
morning following Elkan’s holiday this solitary
duty was cheered by the presence of Harry Flaxberg.
Harry had sought the advice of counsel the previous
day and had been warned against tardiness as an excuse
for his discharge; so he was lounging on the sidewalk
long before Markulies’s arrival that morning.
“Nu, Mr. Flaxberg,”
Markulies cried, “what brings you round so early?”
“I couldn’t sleep last
night,” Flaxberg said; “so I thought I
might just so well be here as anywhere.”
“Ain’t that the funniest
thing!” Markulies cried. “Me I couldn’t
sleep neither. I got something on my mind.”
He unlocked the door as he spoke;
and as he passed up the stairs he declared again that
he had something on his mind.
“Yow!” Flaxberg
said. “I should got your worries, Markulies.
The simple little things which a shipping clerk must
got to do would oser give anybody the nervous
prostration.”
“Is that so?” Markulies
retorted. “Well, I ain’t just the
shipping clerk here, Mr. Flaxberg. You must remember
I am in charge with the keys also, Mr. Flaxberg; and
I got responsibilities if some one ganvers a
couple sample garments once in a while, y’understand right
away they would accuse me that I done it.”
“Don’t worry yourself,
Markulies,” Flaxberg said. “I ain’t
going to ganver no garments on you not
this morning anyhow.”
“You I ain’t worrying
about at all,” Markulies rejoined; “but
that young bloodsucker, Lubliner, Mr. Flaxberg that’s
something else again. Actually that young feller
is to me something which you could really call a thorn
in my pants, Mr. Flaxberg. Just because he is
assistant cutter here and I am only the shipping clerk
he treats me like I would be the dirt under his feet.
Only last night, Mr. Flaxberg, I am locking up the
place when that feller comes up the stairs and says
to me I should give him the key, as he forgets a package
which he left behind him. Mind you, it is already
half-past six, Mr. Flaxberg; and ever since I am living
up in the Bronix, Mr. Flaxberg, I am getting kicked
out of six places where I am boarding on account no
respectable family would stand it, Mr. Flaxberg, that
a feller comes, night after night, nine o’clock
to his dinner.”
“You was telling me about Lubliner,”
Flaxberg reminded him.
“Sure, I know,” Markulies
continued. “So I says to him the place is
closed and that’s all there is to it. With
that, Mr. Flaxberg, the feller takes back his hand so and
he gives me a schlag in the stummick, which,
honest, if he wouldn’t be from Mr. Polatkin a
relation, Mr. Flaxberg, I would right then and there
killed him.”
For two minutes he patted gently that
portion of his anatomy where Elkan’s blow had
landed.
“He’s a dangerous feller,
Mr. Flaxberg,” he went on, “because, just
so soon as he opens the door after I am giving him
the key, Mr. Flaxberg, he shuts it in my face and
springs the bolt on me, Mr. Flaxberg and
there I am standing bis pretty near eight o’clock,
understand me, till that feller comes out again.
By the time I am at my room on Brook Avenue, Mr. Flaxberg,
the way Mrs. Kaller speaks to me you would think I
was a dawg yet. How should I know she is getting
tickets for the theaytre that evening, Mr. Flaxberg?
And anyhow, Mr. Flaxberg, if people could afford to
spend their money going on theaytre, understand me,
they don’t need to keep boarders at all especially
when I am getting night after night boiled Brustdeckel
only. I says to her, ‘Mrs. Kaller,’
I says to her, ‘why don’t you give me
once in a while a change?’ I says ”
“Did Lubliner have anything
with him when he came out?” Flaxberg interrupted.
“Well, sure; he’d got
the package he forgets, and how a feller could forget
a package that size, Mr. Flaxberg honestly,
you wouldn’t believe at all! That’s
what it is to be a relation to the boss, Mr. Flaxberg.
If I would got such a memory, understand me, I would
of been fired long since already. Yes, Mr. Flaxberg,
I says to Mrs. Kaller, ’For three and a half
dollars a week a feller should get night after night
Brustdeckel it’s a shame honest!’
I says; and stiegen! There’s
Mr. Scheikowitz!”
As he spoke he seized a feather duster
and began to wield it vigorously, so that by the time
Philip Scheikowitz reached the showroom door a dense
cloud of dust testified to Markulies’s industry.
“That’ll do, Sam!”
Philip cried. “What do you want to do here choke
us all to death?”
Gradually the dust subsided and disclosed
to Philip’s astonished gaze Harry Flaxberg seated
on a sample table and apparently lost in the perusal
of the Daily Cloak and Suit Record.
“Good-morning, Mr. Scheikowitz,”
he said heartily, but Philip only grunted in reply.
Moreover, he walked hurriedly past Flaxberg and closed
the office door behind him with a resounding bang,
for he, too, had sought the advice of counsel the
previous evening; and on that advice he had left his
bed before daylight, only to find himself forestalled
by the wily Flaxberg. Nor was his chagrin at
all decreased by Polatkin, who had promised to meet
his partner at quarter-past seven. Instead he
arrived an hour later and immediately proceeded to
upbraid Scheikowitz for Flaxberg’s punctuality.
“What do you mean that feller
gets here before you?” he cried. “Didn’t
you hear it the lawyer distinctively told you you should
get here before Flaxberg, and when Flaxberg arrives
you should tell him he is fired on account he is late?
Honestly, Scheikowitz, I don’t know what comes
over you lately the way you are acting. Here
we are paying the lawyer ten dollars he should give
us an advice, understand me, and we might just so
well throw our money in the streets!”
“But Flaxberg wasn’t late,
Polatkin,” Scheikowitz protested. “He
was early.”
“Don’t argue with me,
Scheikowitz,” Polatkin said. “Let’s
go outside and talk to him.”
Philip shrugged despairingly as they
walked to the office door.
“Flaxberg,” he began as
he discerned the city salesman again using a sample
table for a footstool, “don’t let us disturb
you if you ain’t through reading the paper yet.”
“Yes, Flaxberg,” Polatkin
added, “you could get down here so early like
you would be sleeping in the place all night yet, and
what is it? Take from the table the feet, Flaxberg,
and be a man. We got something to say to you.”
“Go ahead, Mr. Polatkin,”
Flaxberg said as he leisurely brought his feet to
the floor. “I’m listening.”
“In the first place, Flaxberg,”
Polatkin said, “did it ever occur to you that,
even if your uncle would got fired up to Appenweier
& Murray’s, Redman designs for us a line of
garments here which them people might be interested
in anyhow?”
“Yow, they would be interested
in our line!” Flaxberg cried. “Lapin
wouldn’t buy only Sammet Brothers’ line
if we got Worth and Paquin both working for us as
designers. You couldn’t convince him otherwise,
Mr. Polatkin.”
“That’s all right,”
Polatkin went on; “but it wouldn’t do no
harm for you to anyhow see the feller and show him
a couple garments which we got it here. Take
for instance them 1080’s, which we are selling
Fine Brothers, oder that 2060 that
overskirt effect with the gilt net yoke and peacock-feather-design
braid, Flaxberg. Them two styles made a big hit,
Flaxberg. They are all hanging on that end rack
there, Flaxberg, and you could look at ’em for
yourself.”
Polatkin walked across the showroom
to the rack in question.
“Especially the 2060’s,”
he said as he pulled aside the heavy denim curtain
which protected the contents of the rack, “which
you could really say is ”
Here he paused abruptly for,
with the exception of a dozen wooden hangers, the
rack was empty.
“What’s this, Scheikowitz?”
he cried with a sweep of his hand in the direction
of the rack. “Where is all them 1080’s
and 2060’s?”
Hastily the two partners examined
every rack in the showroom; and not only did they
fail to discover the missing samples, but they ascertained
that, in addition, seven other choice styles had disappeared.
“See maybe is Redman using ’em
in the cutting room,” Scheikowitz suggested;
and forthwith they made a canvass of the cutting room
and factory, in which they were joined by Markulies.
“What is the matter, Mr. Scheikowitz?”
he asked.
“We are missing a dozen sample garments,”
Scheikowitz replied.
“Missing!” Markulies loudly
exclaimed. “What d’ye mean missing,
Mr. Scheikowitz? Last night, when I was covering
up the racks, everything was in place.”
Suddenly a wave of recollection swept
over him and he gave tongue like a foxhound.
“Oo-oo-ee!” he wailed and sank into the
nearest chair.
“Markulies,” Polatkin cried out, “for
Heaven’s sake, what is it?”
“He must of ganvered
’em!” Markulies wailed. “Right
in front of my eyes he done it.”
“Who done it?” Scheikowitz cried.
“Lubliner,” Markulies moaned.
“Lubliner!” Polatkin cried. “Do
you mean Elkan Lubliner?”
“That’s what I said,”
Markulies went on. “Comes half-past six
last night, and that ganef makes me a schlag
in the stummick, Mr. Polatkin; and the first thing
you know he goes to work and steals from me my keys,
Mr. Polatkin, and cleans out the whole place yet.”
“Lubliner was here last night after we are going
home?” Polatkin asked.
“Sure, he was,” Markulies replied “at
half-past six yet.”
“Then that only goes to show
what a liar you are,” Polatkin declared, “because
myself I am letting Elkan go home at one o’clock
on account the feller is so sick, understand me, he
could hardly walk out of the place at all. Furthermore,
he says he is going right straight to bed when he
leaves here; so, if you want to explain how it is the
garments disappear when you are in the place here
alone, Markulies, go ahead with your lies. Might
Mr. Scheikowitz stole ’em maybe or
I did! What?”
Markulies began to rock and sway in an agony of woe.
“I should never stir from this
here chair, Mr. Polatkin,” Markulies protested,
“and my mother also, which I am sending her to
Kalvaria regular like clockwork ten
dollars a month, she should never walk so far from
here bis that door, if that ganef didn’t
come in here last night and make away with the garments!”
“Koosh!” Polatkin
bellowed, and made a threatening gesture toward Markulies
just as Scheikowitz stepped forward.
“That’ll do, Polatkin,”
he said. “If the feller lies we could easy
prove it ain’t it? In the first
place, where is Elkan?”
“He must of been sick this morning
on account he ain’t here yet,” Polatkin
said.
“Schon gut,” Scheikowitz
rejoined; “if he ain’t here he ain’t
here, verstehst du, aber he is boarding
with Mrs. Feinermann, which her husband is Kupferberg
Brothers’ foreman ain’t it?”
Polatkin nodded and Scheikowitz turned to Markulies.
“Markulies,” he said,
“do me the favour and stop that! You are
making me dizzy the way you are acting. Furthermore,
Markulies, you should put on right away your hat and
run over to Kupferberg Brothers’ and say to Mr.
B. Kupferberg you are coming from Polatkin & Scheikowitz,
and ask him is he agreeable he should let Marx Feinermann
come over and see us and if he wants to
know what for tell him we want to get from him a recommendation
for a feller which is working for us.”
He turned to his partner as Markulies
started for the stairway.
“And a helluva recommendation
we would get from him, too, I bet yer!” he added.
“Wasserbauer tells me Elkan was in his place
yesterday, and, though he don’t watch every
bit of food a customer puts into his mouth, understand
me, he says that he eats dill pickles one right after
the other; and then, Polatkin, the young feller gets
right up and walks right out of the place without
giving any order even. Wasserbauer says he knows
it was Elkan because one day I am sending him over
to look for you there. Wasserbauer asks him the
simple question what he wants you for, and right away
Elkan acts fresh to him like anything.”
“He done right to act fresh,”
Polatkin said as they walked back to the showroom.
“What is it Wasserbauer’s business what
you want me for?”
“But how comes a young feller
like him to be eating at Wasserbauer’s?”
Scheikowitz continued. “Where does he get
the money from he should eat there?”
“The fact is” said
Flaxberg, who up to this point had remained a silent
listener to the entire controversy “the
fact is, Mr. Scheikowitz, yesterday I am taking pity
on the feller on account he is looking sick; and I
took him into Wasserbauer’s and invited him he
should eat a little something.”
Here he paused and licked his lips maliciously.
“And though I don’t want
to say nothing against the feller, understand me,”
he continued, “he begins right away to talk about
horseracing.”
“Horseracing?” Polatkin cried.
Flaxberg nodded and made a gesture
implying more plainly than the words themselves:
“Can you beat it?”
“Horseracing!” Scheikowitz
repeated. “Well, what do you think of that
for a lowlife bum?”
“And when I called him down
for gambling, Mr. Polatkin, he walks right out, so
independent he is. Furthermore, though it’s
none of my business, Mr. Polatkin,” Flaxberg
went on, “Markulies tells me this morning early
the same story like he tells you before
he knew the goods was missing even.”
“Sure, I believe you,”
Polatkin retorted. “He was getting the whole
thing fixed up beforehand. That’s the kind
of Rosher he is.”
As he spoke Markulies entered, and
there followed on his heels the short, stout figure
of Marx Feinermann.
“What did I told you?”
Markulies cried. “The feller ain’t
home sick at all. He eats his supper last night,
and this morning he is got two eggs for his breakfast
even.”
“S’nough, Markulies!”
Polatkin interrupted. “You got too much
to say for yourself. Sit down, Feinermann, and
tell us what is the reason Elkan ain’t here
this morning.”
“You tell me and I would tell
you,” Feinermann replied. “All I know
is the feller leaves my house the usual time this
morning; only before he goes he acts fresh to my wife
like anything, Mr. Polatkin. He kicks the coffee
ain’t good, even when my wife is giving him two
eggs to his breakfast anyhow. What some people
expects for three-fifty a week you wouldn’t
believe at all!”
“What do you mean three-fifty
a week?” Polatkin demanded. “He pays
your wife five dollars a week schon six months
ago already. He told me so himself.”
“I ain’t responsible for
what that boy tells you,” Feinermann said stolidly.
“All I know is he pays me three-fifty a week;
and you would think he is used to eating chicken every
day from zu Hause yet, the way he is all the
time kicking about his food.”
Markulies snorted indignantly.
“He should got the Machshovos
Mrs. Kaller hands it to me,” he said “gekochte
Brustdeckel day in, day out; and then I am accused
that I steal samples yet! I am sick and tired
of it!”
“Stiegen!” Polatkin
cried. “Listen here to me, Feinermann.
Do you mean to told me the boy ain’t paying
you five dollars a week board?”
As Feinermann opened his mouth to
reply the showroom door opened and Elkan himself entered.
“Loafer!” Scheikowitz roared. “Where
was you?”
Elkan made no reply, but walked to the centre of the
showroom.
“Mr. Polatkin,” he said, “could
I speak to you a few words something?”
Polatkin jumped to his feet.
“Before you speak to me a few
words something,” he said, “I want to ask
you what the devil you are telling me lies that you
pay Mrs. Feinermann five dollars a week board?”
“What are you bothering about
that for now?” Scheikowitz interrupted.
“And, anyhow, you could see by the way the feller
is red like blood that he lies to you.”
“Furthermore,” Feinermann
added, “my wife complains to me last night that
young loafer takes her uptown yesterday on a wild fool’s
errand, understand me, and together they get pretty
near kicked out of a drygoods store.”
“She told you that, did she?” Elkan cried.
“That’s what I said!” Feinermann
retorted.
“Then, if that’s the case,
Feinermann,” Elkan replied, “all I can
say is, I am paying your wife five dollars a week
board schon six months already, and if she
is holding out on you a dollar and a half a week that’s
her business not mine.”
“Don’t make things worser
as they are, Lubliner,” Flaxberg advised.
“You are in bad, anyhow, and lying don’t
help none. What did you done with the samples
you took away from here?”
“What is it your business what
I done with ’em?” Elkan retorted.
“Don’t get fresh, Elkan!”
Polatkin said. “What is all this about,
anyhow? First, you are leaving here yesterday
on account you are sick; next, you are going uptown
with Mrs. Feinermann and get kicked out of a drygoods
store; then you come back here and steal our samples.”
“Steal your samples!” Elkan cried.
“You admitted it yourself just
now,” Flaxberg interrupted. “You are
a thief as well as a liar!”
Had Flaxberg’s interest in sport
extended to pugilism, he would have appreciated the
manner in which Elkan’s chest and arm muscles
began to swell under his coat, even if the ominous
gleam in Elkan’s dark eyes had provided no other
warning. As it was, however, Elkan put into practice
the knowledge gained by a nightly attendance at the
gymnasium on East Broadway. He stepped back two
paces, and left followed right so rapidly to the point
of Flaxberg’s jaw that the impact sounded like
one blow.
Simultaneously Flaxberg fell back
over the sample tables and landed with a crash against
the office partition just as the telephone rang loudly.
Perhaps it was as well for Flaxberg that he was unprepared
for the onslaught, since, had he been in a rigid posture,
he would have assuredly taken the count. Beyond
a cut lip, however, and a lump on the back of his
head, he was practically unhurt; and he jumped to his
feet immediately. Nor was he impeded by a too
eager audience, for Markulies and Feinermann had abruptly
fled to the farthermost corner of the cutting room,
while Marcus and Philip had ducked behind a sample
rack; so that he had a clear field for the rush he
made at Elkan. He yelled with rage as he dashed
wildly across the floor, but the yell terminated with
an inarticulate grunt when Elkan stopped the rush with
a drive straight from the shoulder. It found
a target on Flaxberg’s nose, and he crumpled
up on the showroom floor.
For two minutes Elkan stood still
and then he turned to the sample racks.
“Mr. Polatkin,” he said, “the telephone
is ringing.”
Polatkin came from behind the rack
and automatically proceeded to the office, while Scheikowitz
peeped out of the denim curtains.
“You got to excuse me, Mr. Scheikowitz,”
Elkan murmured. “I couldn’t help
myself at all.”
“You’ve killed him!” Scheikowitz
gasped.
“Yow! I’ve killed
him!” Elkan exclaimed. “It would take
a whole lot more as that to kill a bum like him.”
He bent over Flaxberg and shook him by the shoulder.
“Hey!” he shouted in his ear. “You
are ruining your clothes!”
Flaxberg raised his drooping head
and, assisted by Elkan, regained his feet and staggered
to the water-cooler, where Elkan bathed his streaming
nostrils with the icy fluid.
At length Scheikowitz stirred himself
to action just as Polatkin relinquished the ’phone.
“Markulies,” Scheikowitz
shouted, “go out and get a policeman!”
“Don’t do nothing of the
kind, Markulies!” Polatkin declared. “I
got something to say here too.”
He turned severely to Elkan.
“Leave that loafer alone and
listen to me,” he said. “What right
do you got to promise deliveries on them 2060’s
in a week?”
“I thought ” Elkan
began.
“You ain’t got no business
to think,” Polatkin interrupted. “The
next time you are selling a concern like Appenweier
& Murray don’t promise nothing in the way of
deliveries, because with people like them it’s
always the same. If you tell ’em a week
they ring you up and insist on it they would got to
got the goods in five days.”
He put his hand on Elkan’s shoulder;
and the set expression of his face melted until his
short dark moustache disappeared between his nose and
his under lip in a widespread grin.
“Come inside the office,”
he said “you too, Scheikowitz.
Elkan’s got a long story he wants to tell us.”
Half an hour later, Sam Markulies
knocked timidly at the office door.
“Mr. Polatkin,” he said,
“Marx Feinermann says to me to ask you if he
should wait any longer on account they’re very
busy over to Kupferberg Brothers’.”
“Tell him he should come in
here,” Polatkin said; and Markulies withdrew
after gazing in open-mouthed wonder at the spectacle
of Elkan Lubliner seated at Polatkin’s desk,
with one of Polatkin’s mildest cigars in his
mouth, while the two partners sat in adjacent chairs
and smiled on Elkan admiringly.
“You want to speak to me, Mr.
Polatkin?” Feinermann asked, as he came in a
moment afterward.
“Sure,” Polatkin replied
as he handed the astonished Feinermann a cigar.
“Sit down, Feinermann, and listen to me.
In the first place, Feinermann, what for a neighborhood
is Pitt Street to live in? Why don’t you
move uptown, Feinermann?”
“A foreman is lucky if he could
live in Pitt Street even,” Feinermann said.
“You must think I got money, Mr. Polatkin.”
“How much more a month would
it cost you to live uptown?” Polatkin continued.
“At the most ten dollars ain’t
it?”
Feinermann nodded sadly.
“To a man which he is only a
foreman, Mr. Polatkin, ten dollars is ten dollars,”
he commented.
“Sure, I know,” Polatkin
said; “but instead of five dollars a week board,
Elkan would pay you seven dollars a week, supposing
you would move up to Lenox Avenue. Ain’t
that right, Elkan?”
“Sure, that’s right,”
Elkan said. “Only, if I am paying him seven
dollars a week board, he must got to give Mrs. Feinermann
a dollar and a half extra housekeeping money.
Is that agreeable, Feinermann?”
Again Feinermann nodded.
“Then that’s all we want
from you, Feinermann,” Polatkin added, “except
I want to tell you this much: I am asking Elkan
he should come uptown and live with me; and he says
no he would prefer to stick where he is.”
Feinermann shrugged complacently.
“I ain’t got no objections,” he
said as he withdrew.
“And now, Elkan,” Polatkin
cried, “we got to fix it up with the other feller.”
Hardly had he spoken when there stood
framed in the open doorway the disheveled figure of
Flaxberg.
“Nu, Flaxberg,”
Polatkin said. “What d’ye want from
us now?”
“I am coming to tell you this,
Mr. Polatkin,” Flaxberg said thickly through
his cut and swollen lips: “I am coming to
tell you that I’m sick and so you must give
me permission to go home.”
“Nobody wants you to stay here,
Flaxberg,” Polatkin answered.
“Sure, I know,” Flaxberg
rejoined; “but if I would go home without your
consent you would claim I made a breach of my contract.”
“Don’t let that worry
you in the least, Flaxberg,” Polatkin retorted,
“because, so far as that goes, we fire you right
here and now, on account you didn’t make no
attempt to sell Appenweier & Murray, when a boy like
Elkan, which up to now he wasn’t even a salesman
at all, could sell ’em one thousand dollars
goods.”
Flaxberg’s puffed features contorted
themselves in an expression of astonishment.
“Lubliner sells Appenweier &
Murray a bill of goods!” he exclaimed.
By way of answer Polatkin held out
the order slip for Flaxberg’s inspection.
“That’s all right,”
Flaxberg declared. “I would make it hot
for you anyhow! You put this young feller up
to it that he pretty near kills me.”
“Yow! We put him up to
it!” Polatkin retorted. “You put him
up to it yourself, Flaxberg. You are lucky he
didn’t break your neck for you; because, if
you think you could sue anybody in the courts yet,
we got for witness Feinermann, Markulies and ourselves
that you called him a liar and a thief.”
“Nu, Polatkin,”
Scheikowitz said, “give him say a hundred dollars
and call it square.”
“You wouldn’t give me
five hundred dollars,” Flaxberg shouted as he
started for the door, “because I would sue you
in the courts for five thousand dollars yet.”
Flaxberg banged the door violently
behind him, whereat Polatkin shrugged his shoulders.
“Bluffs he is making it!”
he declared; and forthwith he began to unfold plans
for Elkan’s new campaign as city salesman.
He had not proceeded very far, however, when there
came another knock at the door. It was Sam Markulies.
“Mr. Flaxberg says to me I should
ask you if he should wait for the hundred dollars
a check, or might you would mail it to him maybe!”
he said.
Scheikowitz looked inquiringly at his partner.
“Put on it, ’In full of
all claims against Polatkin & Scheikowitz or Elkan
Lubliner to date,’” he said. “And
when you get through with that, Scheikowitz, write
an ‘ad’ for an assistant cutter. We’ve
got to get busy on that Appenweier & Murray order
right away.”