A few weeks after Freddy’s death
a curious thing happened to Margaret, a thing which
shook her nerves and disturbed the automatic calm into
which she had drilled her thoughts.
She was still a hard-working pantry-maid,
doing the same daily round of apparently unwarlike
work. She was thankful that she had got it to
do, and considered herself lucky, for the waiting
lists of able and eager V.A.D.’s, whose names
were down at hospitals and convalescent homes, ran
into many figures, girls who were longing to be given
any sort of occupation, however humble, which would
place them amongst the women of England who were really
in touch with the agony of the world. Margaret
had still the promise before her of promotion, the
hope that eventually she would reach the wards.
Time would make its demands on the long lists of
V.A.D.’s who were unemployed and eager for work.
It would not be long before they would all be required.
Someone else would step into her humble post when
she was promoted. It was merely a case of patience
and pluck; the voluntary hospitals were dependent on
voluntary aid. She gave hers gladly.
It was a very lonely, self-contained
Margaret who wandered about London during her “off-hours.”
Two hours gave her very little time for making expeditions
or seeing the sights of London, which were all unknown
to her, so she spent the greater part of her time
in the secluded garden-square close to her lodgings.
It always reminded her of a small public garden in
Paris, in the old-fashioned quarter of the city, in
which she had lived for a year with a French family
while she was perfecting her French. The odd
mixture of people who frequented it, and monopolized
the seats in it for hours at a time, interested her.
The work which they brought with them was as diverse
as it was peculiar. Not a few of the regular
habitues made a home of it, even on wet days, only
returning to their shelter to sleep. Youth and
elegance seldom entered it, except, it might be, when
a pair of lovers, of non-British birth, drifted into
it, seeking refuge from the madding crowd.
A London church, as black and white
with smoke and the wearing winds of time as the marble
churches of Lombardy, raised its belfry, of unnamable
architecture, picturesquely above the square on one
side, while a portion of its graveyard, which had
been incorporated in the garden-square, and which
seemed to Margaret in its shabby condition much older
and more pathetically forlorn than the temple-tombs
under the Theban hills, attracted the aged and the
melancholy.
Margaret was the only lady who ever
patronized the bench-seats in this secluded city oasis.
Her V.A.D. uniform, and perhaps her air of unconscious
dignity, defended her from any unpleasantness.
She had never met with disrespect or lack of courtesy.
One of her chosen companions, an elderly,
haggard woman, with a keen sense of humour and traces
of lost beauty, who always brought a bundle of old
rags and clothes to pick down, had made friends with
her almost immediately. She proved a source
of great amusement to Margaret. The woman’s
occupation had caused her much speculation.
She soon discovered, for the woman
was not at all reticent, that she had been a low comedian
and a dancer at Drury Lane Theatre, and like most
comedians, high tragedy was her passion, and had been
her ambition.
Margaret’s off-hours flew on
wings while she listened to the woman’s accounts
of her dramatic experiences. She had seen her
days of prosperity and undoubtedly enjoyed much admiration.
She was no grumbler and still retained an appetite
for life. The sparrows and the fat pigeons which
waited for the crumbs which fell from the pockets of
the clothes she unpicked were her friends; her dreams
of the past were her recreations.
When Margaret discovered that her
desire for theatre-going was still unabated and unsatisfied,
and that she considered that there was no pleasure
on earth which wealth could bring her to be compared
to the excitement of a “first night,”
as viewed from the gallery, she determined to give
her a treat. She had not been to the theatre
for many years; the necessary shilling for the gallery
was never forthcoming; picking down old uniforms was
not a lucrative occupation.
Margaret contrived to put the necessary
shilling in her way by leaving it lying on the seat
when she got up.
When she appeared in the garden-square
the next day, the aged comedian told her about her
“find,” and asked her anxiously if she
had lost a shilling. Margaret lied nobly; yet
her lie was only half a lie, for she certainly had
not lost it. She had vividly realized the finding
of it.
Margaret never laid out a shilling
to better account. It was returned to her fourfold
as she listened to the glowing descriptions and the
good criticisms of the first performance of one of
the most popular war-plays which had been played in
London.
And so the days passed and ran into
each other, impersonal and unselfish days. The
story of Margaret’s individual life was marking
time; but if her romance was arrested, her sympathies
were expanding. It was impossible for her to
be dull, and she did not allow herself to be sad.
Freddy’s example forbade self-pity or repining.
Of society in London she knew nothing
and cared less. The war had put “society”
out of fashion. If she could count amongst her
friends many strange and questionable characters,
they helped and cheered her as nothing else could
have done. More than one poor home in which there
was little food and much courage looked forward to
the visits of the tall, dark girl, whom they called
by no other name than “Our V.A.D.”
It was her intimate acquaintance with
the inner life of some of London’s poor, and
the example they unconsciously set her by their cheerful
acceptance of their pitiful circumstances and hideous
surroundings, which made Margaret see how contemptible
it would be to indulge in self-pity or repining.
They expected so little, while she wanted so much perfect
happiness as well as worldly prosperity. They
contrived to get enjoyment out of life even when it
seemed to her that they would be better dead.
She had a thousand things in life which had been
denied to them. How could she expect to be given
everything? There she was face to face with crowds
of human beings who exaggerated their joys and rose
above their afflictions. The unconquerable courage
of the poor that was what life in London
was teaching Margaret.
It was one wet afternoon when she
was seated in a Lyons’ tea-shop, in a crowded
part of a West End shopping district, waiting for a
cup of coffee to be brought to her, that the strange
incident happened. To make use of her time,
she had taken out a small writing-tablet which she
carried in a bag with her knitting, and was beginning
to write a letter to her Aunt Anna. She had
written the first words, “Dear Aunt Anna,”
and had paused before writing further. Her pencil
was close to her tablet; her mind was thinking of
what she was going to say. Suddenly her hand
began writing very fast, automatically, something
after the manner in which an actor writes on the stage.
Margaret let it write swiftly and uninterruptedly,
without either considering it strange that it should
be doing so, or wondering, at the time, what she was
writing. Her thoughts had, in a curious way,
become subservient to her actions. Afterwards,
when she tried to remember what she had felt, she
could recollect no impression.
When the quick movement of her hand
stopped and the automatic writing ceased, her powers
of thought seemed suddenly to reassert themselves.
Probably what she had been writing was mere unintelligible
scribble.
Margaret had never heard of the writing
of the “unseen hand.” She was more
nervous than she was aware of; there was a heavy beating
at her heart, a wonder in her mind. She looked
with apprehension at the sheet of paper on the tablet.
Her hand had certainly written something, but the
writing was not her own. It was untidy and broken.
She tried to read it, but the first words made her
so nervous that she could not go any further.
They brought the colour flying to her face, but it
quickly left it; she became wide-eyed; her hands trembled.
It was horrible to think that some outside influence
had taken possession of her actions. She fought
for self-control, and managed to read the message.
“The rays of Aton, which encompass
all lands, will protect him, the enemy will fear him
because of them. The living Aton, beside Whom
there is no other, this hath He ordained. The
Light of Aton will scatter the enemy and turn his
hand from victory. When the chicken crieth in
the egg-shell, He giveth it life, delighting that it
should chirp with all its might. The same Aton,
Who liveth for ever, Who slumbers not, neither does
He sleep, knows the wishes of your heart. The
Lord of Peace will not tolerate the victory of those
who delight in strife. His rays, bright, great,
gleaming, high above all earth. . . .”
There the writing became almost indecipherable;
many words were quite meaningless; only the end of
the last line was distinct:
“To the mistress of his happiness,
Aton, the Loving Father, giveth counsel.”
When Margaret had finished reading
the amazing thing that her hand had written, she was
faint and frightened. What had come over her?
How could she account for the mysterious thing which
had happened?
The state of her nerves prevented
her thinking connectedly or sensibly. The meaning
of the message scarcely formed any part of her bewilderment;
it was the automatic writing itself which disturbed
her. It made her very unhappy. She had
never heard of anything like it happening to anyone
else. She wished that she had only dreamed it;
but there the words were, lying on the tablet before
her. If she was real, they were real.
It was so long since she had read
anything about Akhnaton’s Aton-worship that
she could not have composed the sentences in exactly
the manner of the Pharaoh’s writing if she had
set herself down in a retired place and tried very
hard to remember his style and his language.
Here, in this modern and vulgar tea-room, filled with
men and youths in khaki and shop-girls in cheap and
showy finery, she had suddenly and unconsciously written
a thing which had absolutely nothing to do with her
thoughts or surroundings.
The girl who brought her coffee and
was standing waiting to make out her bill, looked
at her sympathically and asked her if she felt ill.
At the sound of her voice, Margaret
dragged her thoughts back to the fact that she had
been waiting for a cup of coffee.
“No,” she said, jerkily.
“I am not ill, only a little tired, thank you.”
“You’re working hard,
I suppose? One coffee, threepence,” she
jotted down. “Are you in a hospital?
I wish I was nursing, instead of doing this.”
Margaret looked at her blankly for
a moment. She wished that she would not talk
to her; she felt afraid of her own answers.
“No, I’m not nursing I’m
a pantry-maid in a private convalescent hospital.”
“Well, I never!” the girl
said; she was not ignorant of Margaret’s good
breeding. “Do you like the work?”
“It’s very like your work,
I suppose. I never stop to think about whether
I like it or not. Someone has to do it, and I’ve
been given it every little helps.”
“Isn’t that splendid?”
the girl said. “And I don’t suppose
you ever worked before?”
“Not in that way,” Margaret
said. She smiled a queer sort of smile, as her
thoughts flew back to her work in the hut, the cleaning
and sorting of delicate fragments and amulets which
had been made and treasured by a people of whom the
girl had probably never even heard, the mascots and
art-treasures of a forgotten civilization, which had
lasted for thousands of years.
Margaret paid for her coffee, and
looked at the clock. She had only a few minutes
in which to drink it. She poured in all the cream
which she had ordered to cool it, but still it was
too hot to drink. While she waited she wondered
whether her hand would write anything else if she
left it lying on her writing pad. Nervously she
took up her pencil and while she tried to sip her
coffee, she left her right hand lying on the pad just
as it had been before.
Nothing happened. Her hand never
moved; she was extremely conscious of her own feelings
and expectations.
She looked at the writing on the tablet
once more. Yes, it was totally and absolutely
unlike her own. She tore off the sheet on which
it was written and folded it up and put it safely
in her note-case. If she was to drink her coffee,
there was no more time for thought.
Hurriedly she left the crowded tea-rooms
and started off in the direction of her hospital.
It was well for her that she had to
hurry, and that her thoughts for the next few hours
had to be given to the carrying-out of everyday things.
With practised mind-control she put the incident of
the “unseen hand” away from her as far
as she could. When it came creeping back again,
like leaking water, into the foreground of her thoughts,
she fought it splendidly.
Freddy had so extremely disliked her
dabbling, as he called it, in occult matters, that
for his sake, for his memory, she must not allow herself
to be mastered by it. She had scarcely ever allowed
herself to think even about her vision in the Valley
for this very reason, and had refused to be drawn
into the wave of fortune-telling by palmistry and
by crystal-gazing and psychic sciences which the war
had given birth to in London. The nurses and
the staff generally at the hospital spent a great
deal of time and money on palmists.
Margaret could honestly say to herself
that no one had sought those strange experiences less
than she had, no one had been less interested in Spiritualism
and black magic, as it used to be called, than she
had been and, indeed, still was.
Michael had called her his practical mystic, yet she
had never felt herself to be one.
For Freddy’s sake she would
not encourage this new phase of the super-mind which
had suddenly come to her. He had considered
spiritualism a dangerous and undesirable study.
With only his memory to cling to, she would do nothing
which would cause him any trouble. Here again
was the Lampton ancestor-worship developing to its
fullest.