To Carson Chalmers, in his apartment
near the square, Phillips brought the evening mail.
Beside the routine correspondence there were two items
bearing the same foreign postmark.
One of the incoming parcels contained
a photograph of a woman. The other contained
an interminable letter, over which Chalmers hung,
absorbed, for a long time. The letter was from
another woman; and it contained poisoned barbs, sweetly
dipped in honey, and feathered with innuendoes concerning
the photographed woman.
Chalmers tore this letter into a thousand
bits and began to wear out his expensive rug by striding
back and forth upon it. Thus an animal from the
jungle acts when it is caged, and thus a caged man
acts when he is housed in a jungle of doubt.
By and by the restless mood was overcome.
The rug was not an enchanted one. For sixteen
feet he could travel along it; three thousand miles
was beyond its power to aid.
Phillips appeared. He never entered;
he invariably appeared, like a well-oiled genie.
“Will you dine here, sir, or out?” he
asked.
“Here,” said Chalmers,
“and in half an hour.” He listened
glumly to the January blasts making an Aeolian trombone
of the empty street.
“Wait,” he said to the
disappearing genie. “As I came home across
the end of the square I saw many men standing there
in rows. There was one mounted upon something,
talking. Why do those men stand in rows, and
why are they there?”
“They are homeless men, sir,”
said Phillips. “The man standing on the
box tries to get lodging for them for the night.
People come around to listen and give him money.
Then he sends as many as the money will pay for to
some lodging-house. That is why they stand in
rows; they get sent to bed in order as they come.”
“By the time dinner is served,”
said Chalmers, “have one of those men here.
He will dine with me.”
“W-w-which ,”
began Phillips, stammering for the first time during
his service.
“Choose one at random,”
said Chalmers. “You might see that he is
reasonably sober and a certain amount of
cleanliness will not be held against him. That
is all.”
It was an unusual thing for Carson
Chalmers to play the Caliph. But on that night
he felt the inefficacy of conventional antidotes to
melancholy. Something wanton and egregious, something
high-flavored and Arabian, he must have to lighten
his mood.
On the half hour Phillips had finished
his duties as slave of the lamp. The waiters
from the restaurant below had whisked aloft the delectable
dinner. The dining table, laid for two, glowed
cheerily in the glow of the pink-shaded candles.
And now Phillips, as though he ushered
a cardinal or held in charge a burglar wafted
in the shivering guest who had been haled from the
line of mendicant lodgers.
It is a common thing to call such
men wrecks; if the comparison be used here it is the
specific one of a derelict come to grief through fire.
Even yet some flickering combustion illuminated the
drifting hulk. His face and hands had been recently
washed a rite insisted upon by Phillips
as a memorial to the slaughtered conventions.
In the candle-light he stood, a flaw in the decorous
fittings of the apartment. His face was a sickly
white, covered almost to the eyes with a stubble the
shade of a red Irish setter’s coat. Phillips’s
comb had failed to control the pale brown hair, long
matted and conformed to the contour of a constantly
worn hat. His eyes were full of a hopeless, tricky
defiance like that seen in a cur’s that is cornered
by his tormentors. His shabby coat was buttoned
high, but a quarter inch of redeeming collar showed
above it. His manner was singularly free from
embarrassment when Chalmers rose from his chair across
the round dining table.
“If you will oblige me,”
said the host, “I will be glad to have your
company at dinner.”
“My name is Plumer,” said
the highway guest, in harsh and aggressive tones.
“If you’re like me, you like to know the
name of the party you’re dining with.”
“I was going on to say,”
continued Chalmers somewhat hastily, “that mine
is Chalmers. Will you sit opposite?”
Plumer, of the ruffled plumes, bent
his knee for Phillips to slide the chair beneath him.
He had an air of having sat at attended boards before.
Phillips set out the anchovies and olives.
“Good!” barked Plumer;
“going to be in courses, is it? All right,
my jovial ruler of Bagdad. I’m your Scheherezade
all the way to the toothpicks. You’re the
first Caliph with a genuine Oriental flavor I’ve
struck since frost. What luck! And I was
forty-third in line. I finished counting, just
as your welcome emissary arrived to bid me to the
feast. I had about as much chance of getting a
bed to-night as I have of being the next President.
How will you have the sad story of my life, Mr. Al
Raschid a chapter with each course or the
whole edition with the cigars and coffee?”
“The situation does not seem
a novel one to you,” said Chalmers with a smile.
“By the chin whiskers of the
prophet no!” answered the guest.
“New York’s as full of cheap Haroun al
Raschids as Bagdad is of fleas. I’ve been
held up for my story with a loaded meal pointed at
my head twenty times. Catch anybody in New York
giving you something for nothing! They spell
curiosity and charity with the same set of building
blocks. Lots of ’em will stake you to a
dime and chop-suey; and a few of ’em will play
Caliph to the tune of a top sirloin; but every one
of ’em will stand over you till they screw your
autobiography out of you with foot notes, appendix
and unpublished fragments. Oh, I know what to
do when I see victuals coming toward me in little
old Bagdad-on-the-Subway. I strike the asphalt
three times with my forehead and get ready to spiel
yarns for my supper. I claim descent from the
late Tommy Tucker, who was forced to hand out vocal
harmony for his pre-digested wheaterina and spoopju.”
“I do not ask your story,”
said Chalmers. “I tell you frankly that
it was a sudden whim that prompted me to send for some
stranger to dine with me. I assure you you will
not suffer through any curiosity of mine.”
“Oh, fudge!” exclaimed
the guest, enthusiastically tackling his soup; “I
don’t mind it a bit. I’m a regular
Oriental magazine with a red cover and the leaves
cut when the Caliph walks abroad. In fact, we
fellows in the bed line have a sort of union rate
for things of this sort. Somebody’s always
stopping and wanting to know what brought us down
so low in the world. For a sandwich and a glass
of beer I tell ’em that drink did it. For
corned beef and cabbage and a cup of coffee I give
’em the hard-hearted-landlord six-months-in-the-hospital-lost-job
story. A sirloin steak and a quarter for a bed
gets the Wall Street tragedy of the swept-away fortune
and the gradual descent. This is the first spread
of this kind I’ve stumbled against. I haven’t
got a story to fit it. I’ll tell you what,
Mr. Chalmers, I’m going to tell you the truth
for this, if you’ll listen to it. It’ll
be harder for you to believe than the made-up ones.”
An hour later the Arabian guest lay
back with a sigh of satisfaction while Phillips brought
the coffee and cigars and cleared the table.
“Did you ever hear of Sherrard
Plumer?” he asked, with a strange smile.
“I remember the name,”
said Chalmers. “He was a painter, I think,
of a good deal of prominence a few years ago.”
“Five years,” said the
guest. “Then I went down like a chunk of
lead. I’m Sherrard Plumer! I sold the
last portrait I painted for $2,000. After that
I couldn’t have found a sitter for a gratis
picture.”
“What was the trouble?”
Chalmers could not resist asking.
“Funny thing,” answered
Plumer, grimly. “Never quite understood
it myself. For a while I swam like a cork.
I broke into the swell crowd and got commissions right
and left. The newspapers called me a fashionable
painter. Then the funny things began to happen.
Whenever I finished a picture people would come to
see it, and whisper and look queerly at one another.”
“I soon found out what the trouble
was. I had a knack of bringing out in the face
of a portrait the hidden character of the original.
I don’t know how I did it I painted
what I saw but I know it did me. Some
of my sitters were fearfully enraged and refused their
pictures. I painted the portrait of a very beautiful
and popular society dame. When it was finished
her husband looked at it with a peculiar expression
on his face, and the next week he sued for divorce.”
“I remember one case of a prominent
banker who sat to me. While I had his portrait
on exhibition in my studio an acquaintance of his
came in to look at it. ‘Bless me,’
says he, ’does he really look like that?”
I told him it was considered a faithful likeness.
’I never noticed that expression about his eyes
before,’ said he; ’I think I’ll
drop downtown and change my bank account.’
He did drop down, but the bank account was gone and
so was Mr. Banker.
“It wasn’t long till they
put me out of business. People don’t want
their secret meannesses shown up in a picture.
They can smile and twist their own faces and deceive
you, but the picture can’t. I couldn’t
get an order for another picture, and I had to give
up. I worked as a newspaper artist for a while,
and then for a lithographer, but my work with them
got me into the same trouble. If I drew from
a photograph my drawing showed up characteristics and
expressions that you couldn’t find in the photo,
but I guess they were in the original, all right.
The customers raised lively rows, especially the women,
and I never could hold a job long. So I began
to rest my weary head upon the breast of Old Booze
for comfort. And pretty soon I was in the free-bed
line and doing oral fiction for hand-outs among the
food bazaars. Does the truthful statement weary
thee, O Caliph? I can turn on the Wall Street
disaster stop if you prefer, but that requires a tear,
and I’m afraid I can’t hustle one up after
that good dinner.”
“No, no,” said Chalmers,
earnestly, “you interest me very much. Did
all of your portraits reveal some unpleasant trait,
or were there some that did not suffer from the ordeal
of your peculiar brush?”
“Some? Yes,” said
Plumer. “Children generally, a good many
women and a sufficient number of men. All people
aren’t bad, you know. When they were all
right the pictures were all right. As I said,
I don’t explain it, but I’m telling you
facts.”
On Chalmers’s writing-table
lay the photograph that he had received that day in
the foreign mail. Ten minutes later he had Plumer
at work making a sketch from it in pastels. At
the end of an hour the artist rose and stretched wearily.
“It’s done,” he
yawned. “You’ll excuse me for being
so long. I got interested in the job. Lordy!
but I’m tired. No bed last night, you know.
Guess it’ll have to be good night now, O Commander
of the Faithful!”
Chalmers went as far as the door with
him and slipped some bills into his hand.
“Oh! I’ll take ’em,”
said Plumer. “All that’s included
in the fall. Thanks. And for the very good
dinner. I shall sleep on feathers to-night and
dream of Bagdad. I hope it won’t turn out
to be a dream in the morning. Farewell, most
excellent Caliph!”
Again Chalmers paced restlessly upon
his rug. But his beat lay as far from the table
whereon lay the pastel sketch as the room would permit.
Twice, thrice, he tried to approach it, but failed.
He could see the dun and gold and brown of the colors,
but there was a wall about it built by his fears that
kept him at a distance. He sat down and tried
to calm himself. He sprang up and rang for Phillips.
“There is a young artist in
this building,” he said. “ a
Mr. Reineman do you know which is his apartment?”
“Top floor, front, sir,” said Phillips.
“Go up and ask him to favor
me with his presence here for a few minutes.”
Reineman came at once. Chalmers introduced himself.
“Mr. Reineman,” said he,
“there is a little pastel sketch on yonder table.
I would be glad if you will give me your opinion of
it as to its artistic merits and as a picture.”
The young artist advanced to the table
and took up the sketch. Chalmers half turned
away, leaning upon the back of a chair.
“How do you find it?”
he asked, slowly.
“As a drawing,” said the
artist, “I can’t praise it enough.
It’s the work of a master bold and
fine and true. It puzzles me a little; I haven’t
seen any pastel work near as good in years.”
“The face, man the
subject the original what would
you say of that?”
“The face,” said Reineman,
“is the face of one of God’s own angels.
May I ask who ”
“My wife!” shouted Chalmers,
wheeling and pouncing upon the astonished artist,
gripping his hand and pounding his back. “She
is traveling in Europe. Take that sketch, boy,
and paint the picture of your life from it and leave
the price to me.”