THE SNAKE APPEARS.
The European child who grows up in
India, if only to the age of six or seven years, grows
under a severe moral, physical, and mental handicap.
However wise, devoted, and conscientious
its parents may be, the evil is great, and remains
one of the many heavy costs (or punishments) of Empire.
When the child has no mother and an
indifferent father, life’s handicap is even
more severe.
By his sixth birthday (the regiment
being still in Bimariabad owing to the prevalence
of drought, famine, and cholera elsewhere) Damocles
de Warrenne, knowing the Urdu language and argot
perfectly, knew, in theory also, more of evil, in
some directions, than did his own father.
If the child who grows up absolutely
straight-forward, honest, above-board and pure in
thought, word, and deed, in England, deserves commendation,
what does the child deserve who does so in India?
Understanding every word they spoke
to one another, the training he got from native servants
was one of undiluted evil and a series of object-lessons
in deceit, petty villainy, chicanery, oppression,
lying, dishonesty, and all immorality. And yet thanks
to his equal understanding of the words and deeds
of Nurse Beaton, Major Decies, Lieutenant Ochterlonie,
his father, the Officers of the Regiment, and the
Europeans of the station he had a clear,
if unconscious, understanding that what was customary
for native servants was neither customary nor possible
for Sahibs....
But he knew too much....
He knew what percentage of his or
her pay each servant had to hand to the “butler-sahib”
monthly or lose his or her place through
false accusation.
He knew why the ayah was graciously
exempted from financial toll by this autocrat.
He knew roughly what proportion of the cook’s
daily bill represented the actual cost of his daily
purchases. He knew what the door-peon got for
consenting to take in the card of the Indian aspirant
for an interview with Colonel de Warrenne.
He knew the terms of the arrangements
between the head-syce and the grain-dealer, the lucerne-grass
seller, the ghas-wallah who brought the
hay (whereby reduced quantities were accepted in return
for illegal gratifications). He knew of retail
re-sales of these reduced supplies.
He knew of the purchase of oil, rice,
condiments, fire-wood and other commodities from the
cook, of the theft (by arrangement) of the poultry
and eggs, of the surreptitious milking of the cow,
and of the simple plan of milking her under
Nurse Beaton’s eye into a narrow-necked
vessel already half full of water.
He knew that the ayah’s husband
sold the Colonel’s soda-water, paraffin, matches,
candles, tobacco, cheroots, fruit, sugar, etc.,
at a little portable shop round the corner of the
road, and of the terms on which the hamal and
the butler supplied these commodities to the ayah
for transfer to her good man.
He knew too much of the philosophy,
manners, habits, and morals of the dog-boy, of concealed
cases of the most infectious diseases in the compound,
of the sub-letting and over-crowding of the servants’
quarters, of incredible quarrels, intrigues, jealousies,
revenges, base villainies and wrongs, superstitions
and beliefs.
He would hear the hatching of a plot an
hour’s arrangement and wrangle whereby,
through far-sighted activity, perjury, malpractice
and infinite ingenuity, the ringleader would gain a
pice and the follower a pie (a farthing
and a third of a farthing respectively).
Daily he saw the butler steal milk,
sugar, and tea, for his own use; the hamal
steal oil when he filled the lamps, for sale; the malli
steal flowers, for sale; the coachman steal carriage-candles;
the cook steal a moiety of everything that passed
through his hands every one in that black
underworld stealing, lying, back-biting, cheating,
intriguing (and all meanwhile strictly and stoutly
religious, even the sweeper-descended Goanese cook,
the biggest thief of all, purging his Christian soul
on Sunday mornings by Confession, and fortifying himself
against the temptations of the Evil One at early Mass).
Between these nowker log, the
servant-people, and his own jat or class, the
Sahib-log, the master-people, were the troopers,
splendid Sikhs, Rajputs, Pathans and Punjabis, men
of honour, courage, physique, tradition. Grand
fighters, loyal as steel while properly understood
and properly treated in other words, while
properly officered. (Men, albeit, with deplorably
little understanding of, or regard for, Pagett, M.P.,
and his kind, who yearn to do so much for them.)
These men Damocles admired and loved,
though even they were apt to be very naughty
in the bazaar, to gamble and to toy with opium, bhang,
and (alleged) brandy, to dally with houris and
hearts’-delights, to use unkind measures towards
the good bunnia and sowkar who had lent
them monies, and to do things outside the Lines that
were not known in the Officers’ Mess.
The boy preferred the Rissaldar-Major
even to some Sahibs of his acquaintance that
wonderful old man-at-arms, horseman, shikarri,
athlete, gentleman. (Yet how strange and sad to see
him out of his splendid uniform, in sandals, dhotie,
untrammelled shirt-tails, dingy old cotton coat and
loose puggri, undistinguishable from a school-master,
clerk, or post-man; so un-sahib-like.)
And what a fine riding-master he made
for an ambitious, fearless boy though Ochterlonie
Sahib said he was too cruel to be a good horse-master.
How could people be civilians
and live away from regiments? Live without ever
touching swords, lances, carbines, saddles?
What a queer feeling it gave one to
see the regiment go past the saluting base on review-days,
at the gallop, with lances down. One wanted to
shout, to laugh to cry. (It made
one’s mouth twitch and chin work.)
Oh, to lead the regiment as
Father did horse and man one welded piece
of living mechanism.
Father said you couldn’t ride
till you had taken a hundred tosses, been pipped a
hundred times. A hundred falls! Surely Father
had never been thrown it must be
impossible for such a rider to come off. See
him at polo.
By his sixth birthday Damocles de
Warrenne, stout and sturdy, was an accomplished rider
and never so happy (save when fencing) as when flogging
his active and spirited little pony along the “rides”
or over the dusty maidans and open country
of Bimariabad. To receive a quarter-mile start
on the race-course and ride a mile race against Khodadad
Khan on his troop-horse, or with one of the syces on
one of the Colonel’s polo-ponies, or with some
obliging male or female early morning rider, was the
joy of his life. Should he suspect the competitor
of “pulling” as he came alongside, that
the tiny pony might win, the boy would lash at both
horses impartially.
People who pitied him (and they were
many) wondered as to how soon he would break his neck,
and remonstrated with his father for allowing him
to ride alone, or in charge of an attendant unable
to control him.
In the matter of his curious love
of fencing Major John Decies was deeply concerned,
obtained more and more details of his “dweam,”
taught him systematically and scientifically to fence,
bought him foils and got them shortened. He also
interested him in a series of muscle-developing exercises
which the boy called his “dismounted squad-dwill
wiv’out arms,” and performed frequently
daily, and with gusto.
Lieutenant Lord Ochterlonie (Officers’
Light-Weight Champion at Aldershot) rigged him up
a small swinging sand-bag and taught him to punch
with either hand, and drilled him in foot-work for
boxing.
Later he brought the very capable
ten-year-old son of a boxing Troop-Sergeant and set
him to make it worth Dam’s while to guard smartly,
to learn to keep his temper, and to receive a blow
with a grin.
(Possibly a better education than
learning declensions, conjugations, and tables from
a Eurasian “governess".)
He learnt to read unconsciously and
automatically by repeating, after Nurse Beaton, the
jingles and other letter-press beneath the pictures
in the books obtained for him under Major Decies’
censorship.
On his sixth birthday, Major John
Decies had Damocles over to his bungalow for the day,
gave him a box of lead soldiers and a schooner-rigged
ship, helped him to embark them and sail them in the
bath to foreign parts, trapped a squirrel and let it
go again, allowed him to make havoc of his possessions,
fired at bottles with his revolver for the boy’s
delectation, shot a crow or two with a rook-rifle,
played an improvised game of fives with a tennis-ball,
told him tales, and generally gave up the day to his
amusement. What he did not do was to repeat
the experiment of a year ago, or make any kind of
reference to snakes....
A few days later, on the morning of
the New-Year’s-Day Review, Colonel Matthew de
Warrenne once again strode up and down his verandah,
arrayed in full review-order, until it should be time
to ride to the regimental parade-ground.
He had coarsened perceptibly in the
six years since he had lost his wife, and the lines
that had grown deepest on his hard, handsome face
were those between his eyebrows and beside his mouth the
mouth of an unhappy, dissipated, cynical man....
He removed his right-hand gauntlet
and consulted his watch.... Quarter of an hour
yet.
He continued the tramp that always
reminded Damocles of the restless, angry to-and-fro
pacing of the big bear in the gardens. Both father
and the bear seemed to fret against fate, to suffer
under a sense of injury; both seemed dangerous, fierce,
admirable. Hearing the clink and clang and creak
of his father’s movement, Damocles scrambled
from his cot and crept down the stairs, pink-toed,
blue-eyed, curly-headed, night-gowned, to peep through
the crack of the drawing-room door at his beautiful
father. He loved to see him in review uniform so
much more delightful than plain khaki pale
blue, white, and gold, in full panoply of accoutrement,
jackbooted and spurred, and with the great turban
that made his English face look more English still.
Yes he would ensconce himself
behind the drawing-room door and watch. Perhaps
“Fire” would be bobbery when the Colonel
mounted him, would get “what-for” from
whip and spur, and be put over the compound wall instead
of being allowed to canter down the drive and out at
the gate....
Colonel de Warrenne stepped into his
office to get a cheroot. Re-appearing in the
verandah with it in his mouth he halted and thrust
his hand inside his tunic for his small match-case.
Ere he could use the match his heart was momentarily
chilled by the most blood-curdling scream he had ever
heard. It appeared to come from the drawing-room.
(Colonel de Warrenne never lit the cheroot that he
had put to his lips nor ever another again.)
Springing to the door, one of a dozen that opened
into the verandah, he saw his son struggling on the
ground, racked by convulsive spasms, with glazed, sightless
eyes and foaming mouth, from which issued appalling,
blood-curdling shrieks. Just above him, on the
fat satin cushion in the middle of a low settee, a
huge half-coiled cobra swayed from side to side in
the Dance of Death.
“It’s under my foot it’s
moving moving moving out,”
shrieked the child.
Colonel de Warrenne attended to the
snake first. He half-drew his sword and then
slammed it back into the scabbard. No his
sword was not for snakes, whatever his son might be.
On the wall was a trophy of Afghan weapons, one of
which was a sword that had played a prominent part
on the occasion of the Colonel’s winning of the
Victoria Cross.
Striding to the wall he tore the sword
down, drew it and, with raised arm, sprang towards
the cobra. A good “Cut Three” across
the coils would carve it into a dozen pieces.
No. Lenore made that cushion and Lenore’s
cushion made more appeal to Colonel de Warrenne than
did Lenore’s son. No. A neat horizontal
“Cut Two,” just below the head, with the
deadly “drawing” motion on it, would meet
the case nicely. Swinging it to the left, the
Colonel subconsciously placed the sword, “resting
flat on the left shoulder, edge to the left, hand in
front of the shoulder and square with the elbow, elbow
as high as the hand,” as per drill-book, and
delivered a lightning stroke thinking as
he did so that the Afghan tulwar is an uncommonly
well-balanced, handy cutting-weapon, though infernally
small in the hilt.
The snake’s head fell with a
thud upon the polished boards between the tiger-skins,
and the body dropped writhing and twitching on to the
settee.
Damocles appeared to be dead.
Picking him up, the callous-hearted father strode
out to where Khodadad Khan held “Fire’s”
bridle, handed him to the orderly, mounted, received
him again from the man, and, holding him in his strong
right arm, cantered to the bungalow of Major John
Decies since it lay on the road to the parade-ground.
Would the jerking hurt the little
beggar in his present comatose state? Well, brats
that couldn’t stand a little jerking were better
dead, especially when they screamed and threw fits
at the sight of a common snake.
Turning into Major Decies’ compound
and riding up to his porch, the Colonel saw the object
of his search, arrayed in pyjamas, seated in his long
cane chair beside a tray of tea, toast, and fruit,
in the verandah.
“Morning, de Warrenne,” he cried cheerily.
“How’s little ” and caught
sight of the inanimate child.
“Little coward’s fainted
after throwing a fit over a common snake,”
observed the Colonel coolly.
“Give him here,” answered
the Major, taking the boy tenderly in his arms, “and
kindly er clear out.”
He did not wish to strike his friend
and senior. How the black rage welled up in his
heart against the callous brute who had dared to marry
Lenore Seymour Stukeley.
Colonel de Warrenne wheeled his horse
without a word, and rode out of Major Decies’
life and that of his son.
Galloping to the parade-ground he
spoke a few curt words to his Adjutant, inspected
the rissala, and then rode at its head to the
brigade parade-ground where it took up its position
on the left flank of the Guns and the Queen’s
Greys, “sat at ease,” and awaited the
arrival of the Chief Commissioner at the saluting-base.
A British Infantry regiment marched to the left flank
of the 118th (Bombay) Lancers, left-turned and stood
at ease. Another followed and was followed in
turn by Native Infantry Regiments grand
Sikhs in scarlet tunics, baggy black breeches and
blue putties; hefty Pathans and Baluchis in green
tunics, crimson breeches and high white gaiters, sturdy
little Gurkhas in rifle-green, stalwart Punjabi Mahommedans.
The great double line grew and grew,
and stood patiently waiting, Horse, Foot, and Guns,
facing the sun and a dense crowd of spectators ranked
behind the rope-encircled, guard-surrounded saluting-base
over which flew the Flag of England.
The Brigadier and his Staff rode on
to the ground, were saluted by the mile of troops,
and took up their position.
Followed the Chief Commissioner in
his state carriage, accompanied by a very Distinguished
Guest, and surrounded by his escort. The mile
of men again came to attention and the review began.
Guns boomed, massed bands played the National Anthem,
the crackling rattle of the feu-de-joie ran
up the front rank and down the rear.
After the inspection and the salutes
came the march-past by the regiments.
Now the Distinguished Visitor’s
wife had told the Chief Commissioner that she “did
not want to see the cavalry go past at the gallop as
it raised such a dreadful dust”. But her
maid bungled, her toilette failed, and she decided
not to accompany her husband to the Review at all.
Her husband, the Distinguished Visitor, did
desire to see the cavalry go past at the gallop, and
so the Chief Commissioner’s Distinguished Visitor’s
wife’s maid’s bungling had a tremendous
influence upon the fate of Damocles de Warrenne, as
will be seen.
Passed the massed Guns at the walk,
followed by the Cavalry at the walk in column of squadrons
and the Infantry in column of companies, each unit
saluting the Chief Commissioner by turning “eyes
right” as it passed the spot where he sat on
horseback surrounded by the civil and military staffs.
Wheeling to the left at the end of
the ground the Guns and Cavalry again passed, this
time at the trot, while the Infantry completed its
circular march to its original position.
Finally the Cavalry passed for the
third time, and now at the gallop, an orderly whirlwind,
a controlled avalanche of men and horses, with levelled
lances, and the hearts of all men were stirred at one
of the most stirring sights and sounds in the world a
cavalry charge.
At the head of the leading squadron
galloped Colonel de Warrenne, cool, methodical, keeping
a distant flag-staff in line with a still more distant
church spire, that he might lead the regiment in a
perfectly straight line. (Few who have not tried it
realize the difficulty of leading a galloping line
of men absolutely straight and at true right-angles
to the line of their ranks.)
On thundered the squadrons unbending
of rank, uncrowded, unopened, squadron-leaders maintaining
distance, the whole mass as ordered, shapely, and
precisely correct as when at the walk.
Past the saluting-base thundered the
squadrons and in full career Colonel de Warrenne’s
charger put his near fore into ground honey-combed
by insect, reptile, or burrowing beast, crashed on
its head, rolled like a shot rabbit, and Colonel Matthew
Devon de Warrenne lay dead killed by his
own sword.
Like his ancestors of that fated family,
he had died by the sword, but unlike them, he had
died by the hilt of it.
Major John Decies, I.M.S., Civil Surgeon
of Bimariabad, executor of the will of the late Colonel
de Warrenne and guardian of his son, cabled the sad
news of the Colonel’s untimely death to Sir Gerald
Seymour Stukeley at Monksmead, he being, so far as
Major Decies knew, the boy’s only male relative
in England uncle of the late Mrs. de Warrenne.
The reply, which arrived in a day
or two, appeared from its redundancy and incoherence
to be the composition of Miss Yvette Seymour Stukeley,
and bade Major Decies either send or bring the infant
Damocles to Monksmead immediately.
The Major decided to apply forthwith
for such privilege-leave and furlough as were due
to him, and to proceed to England with the boy.
It would be as well that his great-uncle should hear
from him, personally, of the matter of the child’s
mental condition resultant upon the tragedy of his
own birth and his mother’s death. The Major
was decidedly anxious as to the future in this respect all
might be well in time, and all might be very far indeed
from well.
Nurse Beaton absolutely and flatly
refused to be parted from her charge, and the curious
party of three set sail for England in due course.
“Hm! He’s
every inch a Stukeley,” remarked the General
when Damocles de Warrenne was ushered into his presence
in the great library at Monksmead. “Hope
he’s Stukeley by nature too. Sturdy young
fella! ’Spose he’s vetted sound in
wind and limb?”
The Major replied that the boy was
physically rather remarkably strong, mentally very
sound, and in character all that could be desired.
He then did his best to convey to the General an understanding
of the psychic condition that must be a cause of watchfulness
and anxiety on the part of those who guarded his adolescence.
At dinner, over the General’s
wonderful Clos Vougeot, the Major again returned to
the subject and felt that his words of advice fell
upon somewhat indifferent and uncomprehending ears.
It was the General’s boast that
he had never feed a doctor in his life, and his impression
that a sound resort for any kind of invalid is a lethal
chamber....
The seven years since the Major had
last seen her, seemed to have dealt lightly with the
sad-faced, pretty Miss Yvette, gentle, good, and very
kind. Over the boy she rhapsodized to her own
content and his embarrassment. Effusive endearments
and embraces were new to Dam, and he appeared extraordinarily
ignorant of the art of kissing.
“Oh, how like his dear Father!”
she would exclaim afresh every few minutes, to the
Major’s slight annoyance and the General’s
plain disgust.
“Every inch a Stukeley!” he would growl
in reply.
But Yvette Seymour Stukeley had prayed
for Colonel de Warrenne nightly for seven years and
had idealized him beyond recognition. Possibly
Fate’s greatest kindness to her was to ordain
that she should not see him as he had become in fact,
and compare him with her wondrous mental image....
The boy was to her, must be, should be, the very image
of her life’s hero and beloved....
The depolarized and bewildered Damocles
found himself in a strange and truly foreign land,
a queer, cold, dismal country inhabited by vast quantities
of “second-class sahibs,” as he termed
the British lower middle-class and poor, a country
of a strange greenness and orderedness, where there
were white servants, strangely conjoined rows of houses
in the villages, dangerous-looking fires inside the
houses, a kind of tomb-stones on all house-tops, strange
horse-drawn vehicles, butlerless and ghari-less
sahibs, and an utter absence of “natives,”
sepoys, byle-gharies, camels, monkeys, kites,
squirrels, bulbuls, minahs, mongooses, palm-trees,
and temples. Cattle appeared to have no humps,
crows to have black heads, and trees to have no fruit.
The very monsoon seemed inextricably mixed with the
cold season. Fancy the rains coming in the cold
weather! Perhaps there was no hot weather and
nobody went to the hills in this strange country of
strange people, strange food, strange customs.
Nobody seemed to have any tents when they left the
station for the districts, nor to take any bedding
when they went on tour or up-country. A queer,
foreign land.
But Monksmead was a most magnificent
“bungalow” standing in a truly beautiful
“compound” wherein the very
bhistis and mallis were European
and appeared to be second-class sahibs.
Marvellous was the interior of the
bungalow with its countless rooms and mountainous
stair-cases (on the wall of one of which hung the
Sword which he had never seen but instantly recognized)
and its army of white servants headed by the white
butler (so like the Chaplain of Bimariabad in grave
respectability and solemn pompousness) and its extraordinary
white “ayahs” or maids, and silver-haired
Mrs. Pont, called the “house-keeper”.
Was she a pukka Mem-Sahib or a nowker
or what? And how did she “keep” the
house?
A wonderful place but far
and away the most thrilling and delightful of its
wonders was the little white girl, Lucille Damocles’
first experience of the charming genus.
The boy never forgot his first meeting with Lucille.
On his arrival at Monksmead he had
been “vetted,” as he expressed it, by
the Burra-Sahib, the General; and then taken to
an attractive place called “the school-room”
and there had found Lucille....
“Hullo! Boy,” had
been her greeting. “What’s your name?”
He had attentively scrutinized a small white-clad,
blue-sashed maiden, with curling chestnut hair, well-opened
hazel eyes, decided chin, Greek mouth and aristocratic
cheek-bones. A maiden with a look of blood and
breed about her. (He did not sum her up in these terms
at the time.)
“Can you ride, Boy?”
“A bit.”
“Can you fight?”
“A bit.”
“Can you swim?”
“Not well.”
“I can ever
so farther. D’you know French and German?”
“Not a word.”
“Play the piano?”
“Never heard of it. D’you play it
with cards or dice?”
“Lucky dog! It’s music. I have
to practise an hour a day.”
“What for?”
“Nothing ... it’s lessons. Beastly.
How old are you?”
“Seven er nearly.”
“So’m I nearly.
I’ve got to be six first though. I shall
have a birthday next week. A big one. Have
you brought any ellyfunts from India?”
“I’ve never seen a nellyfunt only
in pictures.”
A shudder shook the boy’s sturdy frame.
“Why do you go like that? Feel sick?”
“No. I don’t know.
I seemed to remember something in a book.
I dream about it. There’s a nasty blue
room with a mud floor. And Something.
Beastly. Makes you yell out and you can’t.
You can’t run away either. But the Sword
dream is lovely.”
Lucille appeared puzzled and put this incoherence
aside.
“What a baby never to see ellyfunts!
I’ve seen lots. Hundreds. Zoo.
Circuses. Persessions. Camels, too.”
“Oh, I used to ride a camel
every day. There was one in the compound with
his oont-wallah, Abdul Ghaffr; and Khodadad
Khan used to beat the oont-wallah on cold mornings
to warm himself.”
“What’s an oont-wallah?”
“Don’t you know?
Why, he’s just the oont-wallah, of course.
Who’d graze the camel or load it up if there
wasn’t one?”
At tea in the nursery the young lady suddenly remarked:
“I like you, Boy. You’re worth nine
Haddocks.”
This cryptic valuation puzzled Damocles
the more in that he had never seen or heard of a haddock.
Had he been acquainted with the fowl he might have
been yet more astonished.
Later he discovered that the comparison
involved the fat boy who sat solemnly stuffing on
the other side of the table, his true baptismal name
being Haddon.
Yes, Lucille was a revelation, a marvel.
Far quicker of mind than he, cleverer
at games and inventing “make believe,”
very strong, active, and sporting, she was the most
charming, interesting, and attractive experience in
his short but eventful life.
How he loved to make her laugh and
clap her hands! How he enjoyed her quaint remarks,
speculations, fairy-tales and jokes. How he yearned
to win her approval and admiration. How he strove
to please her!
In Lucille and his wonderful new surroundings
he soon forgot Major Decies, who returned to live
(and, at a ripe old age, to die) at Bimariabad, where
had lived and died the woman whom he had so truly
and purely loved. The place where he had known
her was the only place for him.
On each of his birthdays Damocles
received a long fatherly letter and a handsome present
from the Major, and by the time he went away to school
at Wellingborough, he wondered who on earth the Major
might be.
To his great delight Damocles found
that he was not doomed to discontinue his riding,
fencing, boxing, and “dismounted drill without
arms”.
General Seymour Stukeley sent for
a certain Sergeant Havlan (once a trooper in his own
regiment), rough-rider, swordsman, and boxer, now a
professional trainer, and bade him see that the boy
learned all he could teach him of arms and horsemanship,
boxing, swimming, and general physical prowess and
skill. Lucille and Haddon Berners were to join
in to the extent to which their age and sex permitted.
The General intended his great-nephew
to be worthy of his Stukeley blood, and to enter Sandhurst
a finished man-at-arms and horseman, and to join his
regiment, Cavalry, of course, with nothing much to
learn of sword, lance, rifle, revolver, and horse.
Sergeant Havlan soon found that he
had little need to begin at the beginning with Damocles
de Warrenne in the matter of riding, fencing or boxing,
and was unreasonably annoyed thereat.
In time, it became the high ambition
and deep desire of Dam to overcome Sergeant Havlan’s
son in battle with the gloves. As young Havlan
was a year his senior, a trained infant prodigy, and
destined for the Prize Ring, there was plenty for
him to learn and to do.
With foil or sabre the boy was beneath Dam’s
contempt.
Daily the children were in Sergeant
Havlan’s charge for riding and physical drill,
Dam getting an extra hour in the evening for the more
manly and specialized pursuits suitable to his riper
years.
He and Lucille loved it all, and the
Haddock bitterly loathed it.
Until Miss Smellie came Dam was a
happy boy but for queer sudden spasms of
terror of Something unknown; and, after her arrival,
he would have been well content could he have been
assured of an early opportunity of attending her obsequies
and certain of a long-postponed resurrection; well
content, and often wildly happy (with Lucille) ...
but for the curious undefinable fear of Something ...
Something about which he had the most awful dreams
... Something in a blue room with a mud floor.
Something that seemed at times to move beneath his
foot, making his blood freeze, his knees smite together,
the sunlight turn to darkness....