Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist
by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.
The particular member of that wealthy family whom
she had married was rich, even as his relatives counted
riches. Sophie had very advanced and decided
views as to the distribution of money: it was
a pleasing and fortunate circumstance that she also
had the money. When she inveighed eloquently
against the evils of capitalism at drawing-room meetings
and Fabian conferences she was conscious of a comfortable
feeling that the system, with all its inequalities
and iniquities, would probably last her time.
It is one of the consolations of middle-aged reformers
that the good they inculcate must live after them
if it is to live at all.
On a certain spring evening, somewhere
towards the dinner-hour, Sophie sat tranquilly between
her mirror and her maid, undergoing the process of
having her hair built into an elaborate reflection
of the prevailing fashion. She was hedged round
with a great peace, the peace of one who has attained
a desired end with much effort and perseverance, and
who has found it still eminently desirable in its
attainment. The Duke of Syria had consented
to come beneath her roof as a guest, was even now installed
beneath her roof, and would shortly be sitting at her
dining-table. As a good Socialist, Sophie disapproved
of social distinctions, and derided the idea of a
princely caste, but if there were to be these artificial
gradations of rank and dignity she was pleased and
anxious to have an exalted specimen of an exalted
order included in her house-party. She was broad-minded
enough to love the sinner while hating the sin not
that she entertained any warm feeling of personal
affection for the Duke of Syria, who was a comparative
stranger, but still, as Duke of Syria, he was very,
very welcome beneath her roof. She could not
have explained why, but no one was likely to ask her
for an explanation, and most hostesses envied her.
“You must surpass yourself to-night,
Richardson,” she said complacently to her maid;
“I must be looking my very best. We must
all surpass ourselves.”
The maid said nothing, but from the
concentrated look in her eyes and the deft play of
her fingers it was evident that she was beset with
the ambition to surpass herself.
A knock came at the door, a quiet
but peremptory knock, as of some one who would not
be denied.
“Go and see who it is,”
said Sophie; “it may be something about the
wine.”
Richardson held a hurried conference
with an invisible messenger at the door; when she
returned there was noticeable a curious listlessness
in place of her hitherto alert manner.
“What is it?” asked Sophie.
“The household servants have ‘downed tools,’
madame,” said Richardson.
“Downed tools!” exclaimed
Sophie; “do you mean to say they’ve gone
on strike?”
“Yes, madame,” said
Richardson, adding the information: “It’s
Gaspare that the trouble is about.”
“Gaspare?” said Sophie
wanderingly; “the emergency chef! The omelette
specialist!”
“Yes, madame. Before
he became an omelette specialist he was a valet, and
he was one of the strike-breakers in the great strike
at Lord Grimford’s two years ago. As soon
as the household staff here learned that you had engaged
him they resolved to ‘down tools’ as a
protest. They haven’t got any grievance
against you personally, but they demand that Gaspare
should be immediately dismissed.”
“But,” protested Sophie,
“he is the only man in England who understands
how to make a Byzantine omelette. I engaged him
specially for the Duke of Syria’s visit, and
it would be impossible to replace him at short notice.
I should have to send to Paris, and the Duke loves
Byzantine omelettes. It was the one
thing we talked about coming from the station.”
“He was one of the strike-breakers
at Lord Grimford’s,” reiterated Richardson.
“This is too awful,” said
Sophie; “a strike of servants at a moment like
this, with the Duke of Syria staying in the house.
Something must be done immediately. Quick,
finish my hair and I’ll go and see what I can
do to bring them round.”
“I can’t finish your hair,
madame,” said Richardson quietly, but with
immense decision. “I belong to the union
and I can’t do another half-minute’s
work till the strike is settled. I’m sorry
to be disobliging.”
“But this is inhuman!”
exclaimed Sophie tragically; “I’ve always
been a model mistress and I’ve refused to employ
any but union servants, and this is the result.
I can’t finish my hair myself; I don’t
know how to. What am I to do? It’s
wicked!”
“Wicked is the word,”
said Richardson; “I’m a good Conservative
and I’ve no patience with this Socialist foolery,
asking your pardon. It’s tyranny, that’s
what it is, all along the line, but I’ve my living
to make, same as other people, and I’ve got
to belong to the union. I couldn’t touch
another hair-pin without a strike permit, not if you
was to double my wages.”
The door burst open and Catherine
Malsom raged into the room.
“Here’s a nice affair,”
she screamed, “a strike of household servants
without a moment’s warning, and I’m left
like this! I can’t appear in public in
this condition.”
After a very hasty scrutiny Sophie
assured her that she could not.
“Have they all struck?” she asked her
maid.
“Not the kitchen staff,”
said Richardson, “they belong to a different
union.”
“Dinner at least will be assured,”
said Sophie, “that is something to be thankful
for.”
“Dinner!” snorted Catherine,
“what on earth is the good of dinner when none
of us will be able to appear at it? Look at your
hair and look at me! or rather, don’t.”
“I know it’s difficult
to manage without a maid; can’t your husband
be any help to you?” asked Sophie despairingly.
“Henry? He’s in
worse case than any of us. His man is the only
person who really understands that ridiculous new-fangled
Turkish bath that he insists on taking with him everywhere.”
“Surely he could do without
a Turkish bath for one evening,” said Sophie;
“I can’t appear without hair, but a Turkish
bath is a luxury.”
“My good woman,” said
Catherine, speaking with a fearful intensity, “Henry
was in the bath when the strike started. In it,
do you understand? He’s there now.”
“Can’t he get out?”
“He doesn’t know how to.
Every time he pulls the lever marked ‘release’
he only releases hot steam. There are two kinds
of steam in the bath, ‘bearable’ and ‘scarcely
bearable’; he has released them both. By
this time I’m probably a widow.”
“I simply can’t send away
Gaspare,” wailed Sophie; “I should never
be able to secure another omelette specialist.”
“Any difficulty that I may experience
in securing another husband is of course a trifle
beneath anyone’s consideration,” said Catherine
bitterly.
Sophie capitulated. “Go,”
she said to Richardson, “and tell the Strike
Committee, or whoever are directing this affair, that
Gaspare is herewith dismissed. And ask Gaspare
to see me presently in the library, when I will pay
him what is due to him and make what excuses I can;
and then fly back and finish my hair.”
Some half an hour later Sophie marshalled
her guests in the Grand Salon preparatory to the formal
march to the dining-room. Except that Henry
Malsom was of the ripe raspberry tint that one sometimes
sees at private theatricals representing the human
complexion, there was little outward sign among those
assembled of the crisis that had just been encountered
and surmounted. But the tension had been too
stupefying while it lasted not to leave some mental
effects behind it. Sophie talked at random to
her illustrious guest, and found her eyes straying
with increasing frequency towards the great doors
through which would presently come the blessed announcement
that dinner was served. Now and again she glanced
mirror-ward at the reflection of her wonderfully coiffed
hair, as an insurance underwriter might gaze thankfully
at an overdue vessel that had ridden safely into harbour
in the wake of a devastating hurricane. Then
the doors opened and the welcome figure of the butler
entered the room. But he made no general announcement
of a banquet in readiness, and the doors closed behind
him; his message was for Sophie alone.
“There is no dinner, madame,”
he said gravely; “the kitchen staff have ‘downed
tools.’ Gaspare belongs to the Union of
Cooks and Kitchen Employees, and as soon as they heard
of his summary dismissal at a moment’s notice
they struck work. They demand his instant reinstatement
and an apology to the union. I may add, madame,
that they are very firm; I’ve been obliged even
to hand back the dinner rolls that were already on
the table.”
After the lapse of eighteen months
Sophie Chattel-Monkheim is beginning to go about again
among her old haunts and associates, but she still
has to be very careful. The doctors will not
let her attend anything at all exciting, such as a
drawing-room meeting or a Fabian conference; it is
doubtful, indeed, whether she wants to.