Eleven successive Kurfursts followed Friedrich in Brandenburg.  Of whom and their births, deaths, wars, marriages, negotiations and continual multitudinous stream of smaller or greater adventures, much has been written, of a dreary confused nature; next to nothing of which ought to be repeated here.  Some list of their Names, with what rememberable human feature or event (if any) still speaks to us in them, we must try to give.  Their Names, well dated, with any actions, incidents, or phases of life, which may in this way get to adhere to them in the reader’s memory, the reader can insert, each at its right place, in the grand Tide of European Events, or in such Picture as the reader may have of that.  Thereby with diligence he may produce for himself some faint twilight notion of the Flight of Time in remote Brandenburg,-convince himself that remote Brandenburg was present all along, alive after its sort, and assisting, dumbly or otherwise, in the great World-Drama as that went on.

We have to say in general, the history of Brandenburg under the Hohenzollerns has very little in it to excite a vulgar curiosity, though perhaps a great deal to interest an intelligent one.  Had it found treatment duly intelligent;-which, however, how could it, lucky beyond its neighbors, hope to do!  Commonplace Dryasdust, and voluminous Stupidity, not worse here than elsewhere, play their Part.

It is the history of a State, or Social Vitality, growing from small to great; steadily growing henceforth under guidance:  and the contrast between guidance and no-guidance, or mis-guidance, in such matters, is again impressively illustrated there.  This we see well to be the fact; and the details of this would be of moment, were they given us:  but they are not;-how could voluminous Dryasdust give them?  Then, on the other hand, the Phenomenon is, for a long while, on so small a scale, wholly without importance in European politics and affairs, the commonplace Historian, writing of it on a large scale, becomes unreadable and intolerable.  Witness grandiloquent Pauli our fatal friend, with his Eight watery Quartos; which gods and men, unless driven by necessity, have learned to avoid! [Dr. Carl Friedrich Pauli, Allgemeine Preussische Staats-Geschichte, often enough cited here.] The Phenomenon of Brandenburg is small, remote; and the essential particulars, too delicate for the eye of Dryasdust, are mostly wanting, drowned deep in details of the unessential.  So that we are well content, my readers and I, to keep remote from it on this occasion.

On one other point I must give the reader warning.  A rock of offence on which if he heedlessly strike, I reckon he will split; at least no help of mine can benefit him till he be got off again.  Alas, offences must come; and must stand, like rocks of offence, to the shipwreck of many!  Modern Dryasdust, interpreting the mysterious ways of Divine Providence in this Universe, or what he calls writing History, has done uncountable havoc upon the best interests of mankind.  Hapless godless dullard that he is; driven and driving on courses that lead only downward, for him as for us!  But one could forgive him all things, compared with this doctrine of devils which he has contrived to get established, pretty generally, among his unfortunate fellow-creatures for the time!-I must insert the following quotation, readers guess from what author:-

“In an impudent Pamphlet, forged by I know not whom, and published in 1766, under the title of Matinées du Roi de Prusse, purporting to be ‘Morning Conversations’ of Frederick the Great with his Nephew the Heir-Apparent, every line of which betrays itself as false and spurious to a reader who has made any direct or effectual study of Frederick or his manners or affairs,-it is set forth, in the way of exordium to these pretended royal confessions, that ’nôtre maison,’ our Family of Hohenzollern, ever since the first origin of it among the Swabian mountains, or its first descent therefrom into the Castle and Imperial Wardenship of Nurnberg, some six hundred years ago or more, has consistently travelled one road, and this a very notable one.  ’We, as I myself the royal Frederick still do, have all along proceeded,’ namely, ’in the way of adroit Machiavelism, as skilful gamblers in this world’s business, ardent gatherers of this world’s goods; and in brief as devout worshippers of Beelzebub, the grand regulator and rewarder of mortals here below.  Which creed we, the Hohenzollerns, have found, and I still find, to be the true one; learn it you, my prudent Nephew, and let all men learn it.  By holding steadily to that, and working late and early in such spirit, we are come to what you now see;-and shall advance still farther, if it please Beelzebub, who is generally kind to those that serve him well.’  Such is the doctrine of this impudent Pamphlet; ‘original Manuscripts’ of which are still purchased by simple persons,-who have then nobly offered them to me, thrice over, gratis or nearly so, as a priceless curiosity.  A new printed edition of which, probably the fifth, has appeared within few years.  Simple persons, consider it a curious and interesting Document; rather ambiguous in origin perhaps, but probably authentic in substance, and throwing unexpected light on the character of Frederick whom men call the Great.  In which new light they are willing a meritorious Editor should share.

“Who wrote that Pamphlet I know not, and am in no condition to guess.  A certain snappish vivacity (very unlike the style of Frederick whom it personates); a wearisome grimacing, gesticulating malice and smartness, approaching or reaching the sad dignity of what is called ‘wit’ in modern times; in general the rottenness of matter, and the epigrammatic unquiet graciosity of manner in this thing, and its elaborately INhuman turn both of expression and of thought, are visible characteristics of it.  Thought, we said,-if thought it can be called:  thought all hamstrung, shrivelled by inveterate rheumatism, on the part of the poor ill-thriven thinker; nay tied (so to speak, for he is of epigrammatic turn withal), as by cross ropes, right shoulder to left foot; and forced to advance, hobbling and jerking along, in that sad guise:  not in the way of walk, but of saltation and dance; and this towards a false not a true aim, rather no-whither than some-whither:-Here were features leading one to think of an illustrious Prince de Ligne as perhaps concerned in the affair.  The Bibliographical Dictionaries, producing no evidence, name quite another person, or series of persons, [A certain ‘N. de Bonneville’ (afterwards a Revolutionary spiritual-mountebank, for some time) is now the favorite Name;-proves, on investigation, to be an impossible one.  Barbier (Dictionnaire des Anonymes), in a helpless doubting manner, gives still others.] highly unmemorable otherwise.  Whereupon you proceed to said other person’s acknowledged works (as they are called); and find there a style bearing no resemblance whatever; and are left in a dubious state, if it were of any moment.  In the absence of proof, I am unwilling to charge his Highness de Ligne with such an action; and indeed am little careful to be acquainted with the individual who did it, who could and would do it.  A Prince of Coxcombs I can discern him to have been; capable of shining in the eyes of insincere foolish persons, and of doing detriment to them, not benefit; a man without reverence for truth or human excellence; not knowing in fact what is true from what is false, what is excellent from what is sham-excellent and at the top of the mode; an apparently polite and knowing man, but intrinsically an impudent, dark and merely modish-insolent man;-who, if he fell in with Rhadamanthus on his travels, would not escape a horse-whipping, Him we will willingly leave to that beneficial chance, which indeed seems a certain one sooner or later; and address ourselves to consider the theory itself, and the facts it pretends to be grounded on.

As to the theory, I must needs say, nothing can be falser, more heretical or more damnable.  My own poor opinion, and deep conviction on that subject is well known, this long while.  And, in fact, the summary of all I have believed, and have been trying as I could to teach mankind to believe again, is even that same opinion and conviction, applied to all provinces of things.  Alas, in this his sad theory about the world, our poor impudent Pamphleteer is by no means singular at present; nay rather he has in a manner the whole practical part of mankind on his side just now; the more is the pity for us all!-

“It is very certain, if Beelzebub made this world, our Pamphleteer, and the huge portion of mankind that follow him, are right.  But if God made the world; and only leads Beelzebub, as some ugly muzzled bear is led, a longer or shorter temporary dance in this divine world, and always draws him home again, and peels the unjust gains off him, and ducks him in a certain hot Lake, with sure intent to lodge him there to all eternity at last,-then our Pamphleteer, and the huge portion of mankind that follow him, are wrong.

“More I will not say; being indeed quite tired of speaking on that subject.  Not a subject which it concerns me to speak of; much as it concerns me, and all men, to know the truth of it, and silently in every hour and moment to do said truth.  As indeed the sacred voice of their own soul, if they listen, will conclusively admonish all men; and truly if it do not, there will be little use in my logic to them.  For my own share, I want no trade with men who need to be convinced of that fact.  If I am in their premises, and discover such a thing of them, I will quit their premises; if they are in mine, I will, as old Samuel advised, count my spoons.  Ingenious gentlemen who believe that Beelzebub made this world, are not a class of gentlemen I can get profit from.  Let them keep at a distance, lest mischief fall out between us.  They are of the set deserving to be called-and this not in the way of profane swearing, but of solemn wrath and pity, I say of virtuous anger and inexorable reprobation-the damned set.  For, in very deed, they are doomed and damned, by Natures oldest Act of Parliament, they, and whatsoever thing they do or say or think; unless they can escape from that devil-element.  Which I still hope they may!-

“But with regard to the facts themselves, ‘de notre maison,’ I take leave to say, they too are without basis of truth.  They are not so false as the theory, because nothing can in falsity quite equal that.  ’Notre maison,’ this Pamphleteer may learn, if he please to make study and inquiry before speaking, did not rise by worship of Beelzebub at all in this world; but by a quite opposite line of conduct.  It rose, in fact, by the course which all, except fools, stockjobber stags, cheating gamblers, forging Pamphleteers and other temporary creatures of the damned sort, have found from of old to be the one way of permanently rising:  by steady service, namely, of the Opposite of Beelzebub.  By conforming to the Laws of this Universe; instead of trying by pettifogging to evade and profitably contradict them.  The Hohenzollerns too have a History still articulate to the human mind, if you search sufficiently; and this is what, even with some emphasis, it will teach us concerning their adventures, and achievements of success in the field of life.  Resist the Devil, good reader, and he will flee from you!”-So ends our indignant friend.

How the Hohenzollerns got their big Territories, and came to what they are in the world, will be seen.  Probably they were not, any of them, paragons of virtue.  They did not walk in altogether speckless Sunday pumps, or much clear-starched into consciousness of the moral sublime; but in rugged practical boots, and by such roads as there were.  Concerning their moralities, and conformities to the Laws of the Road and of the Universe, there will much remain to be argued by pamphleteers and others.  Men will have their opinion, Men of more wisdom and of less; Apes by the Dead-Sea also will have theirs.  But what man that believed in such a Universe as that of this Dead-Sea Pamphleteer could consent to live in it at all?  Who that believed in such a Universe, and did not design to live like a Papin’s-Digester, or porcus EPICURI, in an extremely ugly manner in it, could avoid one of two things:  Going rapidly into Bedlam, or else blowing his brains out?  It will not do for me at any rate, this infinite Dog-house; not for me, ye Dryasdusts, and omnipotent Dog-monsters and Mud-gods, whoever you are.  One honorable thing I can do:  take leave of you and your Dog-establishment.  Enough!-