Philip’s ideas of the life of
medical students, like those of the public at large,
were founded on the pictures which Charles Dickens
drew in the middle of the nineteenth century.
He soon discovered that Bob Sawyer, if he ever existed,
was no longer at all like the medical student of the
present.
It is a mixed lot which enters upon
the medical profession, and naturally there are some
who are lazy and reckless. They think it is an
easy life, idle away a couple of years; and then,
because their funds come to an end or because angry
parents refuse any longer to support them, drift away
from the hospital. Others find the examinations
too hard for them; one failure after another robs
them of their nerve; and, panic-stricken, they forget
as soon as they come into the forbidding buildings
of the Conjoint Board the knowledge which before they
had so pat. They remain year after year, objects
of good-humoured scorn to younger men: some of
them crawl through the examination of the Apothecaries
Hall; others become non-qualified assistants, a precarious
position in which they are at the mercy of their employer;
their lot is poverty, drunkenness, and Heaven only
knows their end. But for the most part medical
students are industrious young men of the middle-class
with a sufficient allowance to live in the respectable
fashion they have been used to; many are the sons
of doctors who have already something of the professional
manner; their career is mapped out: as soon as
they are qualified they propose to apply for a hospital
appointment, after holding which (and perhaps a trip
to the Far East as a ship’s doctor), they will
join their father and spend the rest of their days
in a country practice. One or two are marked out
as exceptionally brilliant: they will take the
various prizes and scholarships which are open each
year to the deserving, get one appointment after another
at the hospital, go on the staff, take a consulting-room
in Harley Street, and, specialising in one subject
or another, become prosperous, eminent, and titled.
The medical profession is the only
one which a man may enter at any age with some chance
of making a living. Among the men of Philip’s
year were three or four who were past their first
youth: one had been in the Navy, from which according
to report he had been dismissed for drunkenness; he
was a man of thirty, with a red face, a brusque manner,
and a loud voice. Another was a married man with
two children, who had lost money through a defaulting
solicitor; he had a bowed look as if the world were
too much for him; he went about his work silently,
and it was plain that he found it difficult at his
age to commit facts to memory. His mind worked
slowly. His effort at application was painful
to see.
Philip made himself at home in his
tiny rooms. He arranged his books and hung on
the walls such pictures and sketches as he possessed.
Above him, on the drawing-room floor, lived a fifth-year
man called Griffiths; but Philip saw little of him,
partly because he was occupied chiefly in the wards
and partly because he had been to Oxford. Such
of the students as had been to a university kept a
good deal together: they used a variety of means
natural to the young in order to impress upon the less
fortunate a proper sense of their inferiority; the
rest of the students found their Olympian serenity
rather hard to bear. Griffiths was a tall fellow,
with a quantity of curly red hair and blue eyes, a
white skin and a very red mouth; he was one of those
fortunate people whom everybody liked, for he had
high spirits and a constant gaiety. He strummed
a little on the piano and sang comic songs with gusto;
and evening after evening, while Philip was reading
in his solitary room, he heard the shouts and the uproarious
laughter of Griffiths’ friends above him.
He thought of those delightful evenings in Paris when
they would sit in the studio, Lawson and he, Flanagan
and Clutton, and talk of art and morals, the love-affairs
of the present, and the fame of the future. He
felt sick at heart. He found that it was easy
to make a heroic gesture, but hard to abide by its
results. The worst of it was that the work seemed
to him very tedious. He had got out of the habit
of being asked questions by demonstrators. His
attention wandered at lectures. Anatomy was a
dreary science, a mere matter of learning by heart
an enormous number of facts; dissection bored him;
he did not see the use of dissecting out laboriously
nerves and arteries when with much less trouble you
could see in the diagrams of a book or in the specimens
of the pathological museum exactly where they were.
He made friends by chance, but not
intimate friends, for he seemed to have nothing in
particular to say to his companions. When he tried
to interest himself in their concerns, he felt that
they found him patronising. He was not of those
who can talk of what moves them without caring whether
it bores or not the people they talk to. One
man, hearing that he had studied art in Paris, and
fancying himself on his taste, tried to discuss art
with him; but Philip was impatient of views which
did not agree with his own; and, finding quickly that
the other’s ideas were conventional, grew monosyllabic.
Philip desired popularity but could bring himself to
make no advances to others. A fear of rebuff
prevented him from affability, and he concealed his
shyness, which was still intense, under a frigid taciturnity.
He was going through the same experience as he had
done at school, but here the freedom of the medical
students’ life made it possible for him to live
a good deal by himself.
It was through no effort of his that
he became friendly with Dunsford, the fresh-complexioned,
heavy lad whose acquaintance he had made at the beginning
of the session. Dunsford attached himself to Philip
merely because he was the first person he had known
at St. Luke’s. He had no friends in London,
and on Saturday nights he and Philip got into the habit
of going together to the pit of a music-hall or the
gallery of a theatre. He was stupid, but he was
good-humoured and never took offence; he always said
the obvious thing, but when Philip laughed at him merely
smiled. He had a very sweet smile. Though
Philip made him his butt, he liked him; he was amused
by his candour and delighted with his agreeable nature:
Dunsford had the charm which himself was acutely conscious
of not possessing.
They often went to have tea at a shop
in Parliament Street, because Dunsford admired one
of the young women who waited. Philip did not
find anything attractive in her. She was tall
and thin, with narrow hips and the chest of a boy.
“No one would look at her in
Paris,” said Philip scornfully.
“She’s got a ripping face,” said
Dunsford.
“What does the face matter?”
She had the small regular features,
the blue eyes, and the broad low brow, which the Victorian
painters, Lord Leighton, Alma Tadema, and a hundred
others, induced the world they lived in to accept as
a type of Greek beauty. She seemed to have a
great deal of hair: it was arranged with peculiar
elaboration and done over the forehead in what she
called an Alexandra fringe. She was very anæmic.
Her thin lips were pale, and her skin was delicate,
of a faint green colour, without a touch of red even
in the cheeks. She had very good teeth.
She took great pains to prevent her work from spoiling
her hands, and they were small, thin, and white.
She went about her duties with a bored look.
Dunsford, very shy with women, had
never succeeded in getting into conversation with
her; and he urged Philip to help him.
“All I want is a lead,”
he said, “and then I can manage for myself.”
Philip, to please him, made one or
two remarks, but she answered with monosyllables.
She had taken their measure. They were boys, and
she surmised they were students. She had no use
for them. Dunsford noticed that a man with sandy
hair and a bristly moustache, who looked like a German,
was favoured with her attention whenever he came into
the shop; and then it was only by calling her two
or three times that they could induce her to take
their order. She used the clients whom she did
not know with frigid insolence, and when she was talking
to a friend was perfectly indifferent to the calls
of the hurried. She had the art of treating women
who desired refreshment with just that degree of impertinence
which irritated them without affording them an opportunity
of complaining to the management. One day Dunsford
told him her name was Mildred. He had heard one
of the other girls in the shop address her.
“What an odious name,” said Philip.
“Why?” asked Dunsford.
“I like it.”
“It’s so pretentious.”
It chanced that on this day the German
was not there, and, when she brought the tea, Philip,
smiling, remarked:
“Your friend’s not here today.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she
said coldly.
“I was referring to the nobleman
with the sandy moustache. Has he left you for
another?”
“Some people would do better to mind their own
business,” she retorted.
She left them, and, since for a minute
or two there was no one to attend to, sat down and
looked at the evening paper which a customer had left
behind him.
“You are a fool to put her back up,” said
Dunsford.
“I’m really quite indifferent
to the attitude of her vertebrae,” replied Philip.
But he was piqued. It irritated
him that when he tried to be agreeable with a woman
she should take offence. When he asked for the
bill, he hazarded a remark which he meant to lead
further.
“Are we no longer on speaking terms?”
he smiled.
“I’m here to take orders
and to wait on customers. I’ve got nothing
to say to them, and I don’t want them to say
anything to me.”
She put down the slip of paper on
which she had marked the sum they had to pay, and
walked back to the table at which she had been sitting.
Philip flushed with anger.
“That’s one in the eye
for you, Carey,” said Dunsford, when they got
outside.
“Ill-mannered slut,” said
Philip. “I shan’t go there again.”
His influence with Dunsford was strong
enough to get him to take their tea elsewhere, and
Dunsford soon found another young woman to flirt with.
But the snub which the waitress had inflicted on him
rankled. If she had treated him with civility
he would have been perfectly indifferent to her; but
it was obvious that she disliked him rather than otherwise,
and his pride was wounded. He could not suppress
a desire to be even with her. He was impatient
with himself because he had so petty a feeling, but
three or four days’ firmness, during which he
would not go to the shop, did not help him to surmount
it; and he came to the conclusion that it would be
least trouble to see her. Having done so he would
certainly cease to think of her. Pretexting an
appointment one afternoon, for he was not a little
ashamed of his weakness, he left Dunsford and went
straight to the shop which he had vowed never again
to enter. He saw the waitress the moment he came
in and sat down at one of her tables. He expected
her to make some reference to the fact that he had
not been there for a week, but when she came up for
his order she said nothing. He had heard her say
to other customers:
“You’re quite a stranger.”
She gave no sign that she had ever
seen him before. In order to see whether she
had really forgotten him, when she brought his tea,
he asked:
“Have you seen my friend tonight?”
“No, he’s not been in here for some days.”
He wanted to use this as the beginning
of a conversation, but he was strangely nervous and
could think of nothing to say. She gave him no
opportunity, but at once went away. He had no
chance of saying anything till he asked for his bill.
“Filthy weather, isn’t it?” he said.
It was mortifying that he had been
forced to prepare such a phrase as that. He could
not make out why she filled him with such embarrassment.
“It don’t make much difference
to me what the weather is, having to be in here all
day.”
There was an insolence in her tone
that peculiarly irritated him. A sarcasm rose
to his lips, but he forced himself to be silent.
“I wish to God she’d say
something really cheeky,” he raged to himself,
“so that I could report her and get her sacked.
It would serve her damned well right.”