He came toward me out of an opera
lobby, between the acts, a figure as remarkable
as anything in the performance. His clothes,
no two articles of which were of the same color, had
the appearance of having been purchased and put on
only an hour or two before, a fact more
directly established by the clothes-dealer’s
ticket which still adhered to his coat-collar, giving
the number, size, and general dimensions of that garment
somewhat obtrusively to an uninterested public.
His trousers had a straight line down each leg, as
if he had been born flat but had since developed;
and there was another crease down his back, like those
figures children cut out of folded paper. I may
add that there was no consciousness of this in his
face, which was good-natured, and, but for a certain
squareness in the angle of his lower jaw, utterly
uninteresting and commonplace.
“You disremember me,”
he said, briefly, as he extended his hand, “but
I’m from Solano, in Californy. I met you
there in the spring of ’57. I was tendin’
sheep, and you was burnin’ charcoal.”
There was not the slightest trace
of any intentional rudeness in the reminder.
It was simply a statement of fact, and as such to
be accepted.
“What I hailed ye for was only
this,” he said, after I had shaken hands with
him. “I saw you a minnit ago standin’
over in yon box chirpin’ with a lady a
young lady, peart and pretty. Might you be telling
me her name?”
I gave him the name of a certain noted
belle of a neighboring city, who had lately stirred
the hearts of the metropolis, and who was especially
admired by the brilliant and fascinating young Dashboard,
who stood beside me.
The Man from Solano mused for a moment,
and then said, “Thet’s so! thet’s
the name! It’s the same gal!”
“You have met her, then?” I asked, in
surprise.
“Ye-es,” he responded,
slowly: “I met her about fower months ago.
She’d bin makin’ a tour of Californy with
some friends, and I first saw her aboard the cars
this side of Reno. She lost her baggage-checks,
and I found them on the floor and gave ’em back
to her, and she thanked me. I reckon now it would
be about the square thing to go over thar and sorter
recognize her.” He stopped a moment, and
looked at us inquiringly.
“My dear sir,” struck
in the brilliant and fascinating Dashboard, “if
your hesitation proceeds from any doubt as to the propriety
of your attire, I beg you to dismiss it from your
mind at once. The tyranny of custom, it is true,
compels your friend and myself to dress peculiarly,
but I assure you nothing could be finer than the way
that the olive green of your coat melts in the delicate
yellow of your cravat, or the pearl gray of your trousers
blends with the bright blue of your waistcoat, and
lends additional brilliancy to that massive oroide
watch-chain which you wear.”
To my surprise, the Man from Solano
did not strike him. He looked at the ironical
Dashboard with grave earnestness, and then said quietly:
“Then I reckon you wouldn’t mind showin’
me in thar?”
Dashboard was, I admit, a little staggered
at this. But he recovered himself, and, bowing
ironically, led the way to the box. I followed
him and the Man from Solano.
Now, the belle in question happened
to be a gentlewoman descended from gentlewomen and
after Dashboard’s ironical introduction, in which
the Man from Solano was not spared, she comprehended
the situation instantly. To Dashboard’s
surprise she drew a chair to her side, made the Man
from Solano sit down, quietly turned her back on Dashboard,
and in full view of the brilliant audience and the
focus of a hundred lorgnettes, entered into conversation
with him.
Here, for the sake of romance, I should
like to say he became animated, and exhibited some
trait of excellence, some rare wit or solid
sense. But the fact is he was dull and stupid
to the last degree. He persisted in keeping
the conversation upon the subject of the lost baggage-checks,
and every bright attempt of the lady to divert him
failed signally. At last, to everybody’s
relief, he rose, and leaning over her chair, said:
“I calklate to stop over here
some time, miss, and you and me bein’ sorter
strangers here, maybe when there’s any show like
this goin’ on you’ll let me ”
Miss X. said somewhat hastily that
the multiplicity of her engagements and the brief
limit of her stay in New York she feared would, etc.,
etc. The two other ladies had their handkerchiefs
over their mouths, and were staring intently on the
stage, when the Man from Solano continued:
“Then, maybe, miss, whenever
there is a show goin’ on that you’ll attend,
you’ll just drop me word to Earle’s Hotel,
to this yer address,” and he pulled from his
pocket a dozen well-worn letters, and taking the buff
envelope from one, handed it to her with something
like a bow.
“Certainly,” broke in
the facetious Dashboard, “Miss X. goes to the
Charity Ball to-morrow night. The tickets are
but a trifle to an opulent Californian, and a man
of your evident means, and the object a worthy one.
You will, no doubt, easily secure an invitation.”
Miss X. raised her handsome eyes for
a moment to Dashboard. “By all means,”
she said, turning to the Man from Solano; “and
as Mr. Dashboard is one of the managers and you are
a stranger, he will, of course, send you a complimentary
ticket. I have known Mr. Dashboard long enough
to know that he is invariably courteous to strangers
and a gentleman.” She settled herself in
her chair again and fixed her eyes upon the stage.
The Man from Solano thanked the Man
of New York, and then, after shaking hands with every
body in the box, turned to go. When he had reached
the door he looked back to Miss X., and said,
“It was one of the queerest
things in the world, miss, that my findin’ them
checks ”
But the curtain had just then risen
on the garden scene in “Faust,” and Miss
X. was absorbed. The Man from Solano carefully
shut the box door and retired. I followed him.
He was silent until he reached the
lobby, and then he said, as if renewing a previous
conversation, “She is a mighty peart gal that’s
so. She’s just my kind, and will make a
stavin’ good wife.”
I thought I saw danger ahead for the
Man from Solano, so I hastened to tell him that she
was beset by attentions, that she could have her pick
and choice of the best of society, and finally, that
she was, most probably, engaged to Dashboard.
“That’s so,” he
said quietly, without the slightest trace of feeling.
“It would be mighty queer if she wasn’t.
But I reckon I’ll steer down to the ho-tel.
I don’t care much for this yellin’.”
(He was alluding to a cadenza of that famous cantatrice,
Signora Batti Batti.) “What’s
the time?”
He pulled out his watch. It
was such a glaring chain, so obviously bogus, that
my eyes were fascinated by it. “You’re
looking at that watch,” he said; “it’s
purty to look at, but she don’t go worth a cent.
And yet her price was $125, gold. I gobbled her
up in Chatham Street day before yesterday, where they
were selling ’em very cheap at auction.”
“You have been outrageously
swindled,” I said, indignantly. “Watch
and chain are not worth twenty dollars.”
“Are they worth fifteen?” he asked, gravely.
“Possibly.”
“Then I reckon it’s a
fair trade. Ye see, I told ’em I was a
Californian from Solano, and hadn’t anything
about me of greenbacks. I had three slugs with
me. Ye remember them slugs?” (I did; the
“slug” was a “token” issued
in the early days a hexagonal piece of gold
a little over twice the size of a twenty-dollar gold
piece worth and accepted for fifty dollars.)
“Well, I handed them that, and
they handed me the watch. You see them slugs
I had made myself outer brass filings and iron pyrites,
and used to slap ’em down on the boys for a
bluff in a game of draw poker. You see, not
being reg’lar gov-ment money, it wasn’t
counterfeiting. I reckon they cost me, counting
time and anxiety, about fifteen dollars. So,
if this yer watch is worth that, it’s about a
square game, ain’t it?”
I began to understand the Man from
Solano, and said it was. He returned his watch
to his pocket, toyed playfully with the chain, and
remarked, “Kinder makes a man look fash’nable
and wealthy, don’t it?”
I agreed with him. “But
what do you intend to do here?” I asked.
“Well, I’ve got a cash
capital of nigh on seven hundred dollars. I
guess until I get into reg’lar business I’ll
skirmish round Wall Street, and sorter lay low.”
I was about to give him a few words of warning, but
I remembered his watch, and desisted. We shook
hands and parted.
A few days after I met him on Broadway.
He was attired in another new suit, but I think I
saw a slight improvement in his general appearance.
Only five distinct colors were visible in his attire.
But this, I had reason to believe afterwards, was
accidental.
I asked him if he had been to the
ball. He said he had. “That gal,
and a mighty peart gal she was too, was there, but
she sorter fought shy of me. I got this new
suit to go in, but those waiters sorter run me into
a private box, and I didn’t get much chance to
continner our talk about them checks. But that
young feller, Dashboard, was mighty perlite.
He brought lots of fellers and young women round to
the box to see me, and he made up a party that night
to take me round Wall Street and in them Stock Boards.
And the next day he called for me and took me, and
I invested about five hundred dollars in them stocks may
be more. You see, we sorter swopped stocks.
You know I had ten shares in the Peacock Copper Mine,
that you was once secretary of.”
“But those shares are not worth
a cent. The whole thing exploded ten years ago.”
“That’s so, may be; you
say so. But then I didn’t know anything
more about Communipaw Central, or the Naphtha Gaslight
Company, and so I thought it was a square game.
Only I realized on the stocks I bought, and I kem
up outer Wall Street about four hundred dollars better.
You see it was a sorter risk, after all, for them
Peacock stocks might come up!”
I looked into his face: it was
immeasurably serene and commonplace. I began
to be a little afraid of the man, or, rather, of my
want of judgment of the man; and after a few words
we shook hands and parted.
It was some months before I again
saw the Man from Solano. When I did, I found
that he had actually become a member of the Stock Board,
and had a little office on Broad Street, where he
transacted a fair business. My remembrance going
back to the first night I met him, I inquired if he
had renewed his acquaintance with Miss X. “I
heerd that she was in Newport this summer, and I ran
down there fur a week.”
“And you talked with her about the baggage-checks?”
“No,” he said, seriously;
“she gave me a commission to buy some stocks
for her. You see, I guess them fash’nable
fellers sorter got to runnin’ her about me,
and so she put our acquaintance on a square business
footing. I tell you, she’s a right peart
gal. Did ye hear of the accident that happened
to her?”
I had not.
“Well, you see, she was out
yachting, and I managed through one of those fellers
to get an invite, too. The whole thing was got
up by a man that they say is going to marry her.
Well, one afternoon the boom swings round in a little
squall and knocks her overboard. There was an
awful excitement, you’ve heard about
it, may be?”
“No!” But I saw it all
with a romancer’s instinct in a flash of poetry!
This poor fellow, debarred through uncouthness from
expressing his affection for her, had at last found
his fitting opportunity. He had
“Thar was an awful row,”
he went on. “I ran out on the taffrail,
and there a dozen yards away was that purty creature,
that peart gal, and I ”
“You jumped for her,” I said, hastily.
“No!” he said gravely.
“I let the other man do the jumping. I
sorter looked on.”
I stared at him in astonishment.
“No,” he went on, seriously.
“He was the man who jumped that was
just then his ’put’ his line
of business. You see, if I had waltzed over
the side of that ship, and cavoorted in, and flummuxed
round and finally flopped to the bottom, that other
man would have jumped nateral-like and saved her;
and ez he was going to marry her anyway, I don’t
exactly see where I’d hev been represented
in the transaction. But don’t you see,
ef, after he’d jumped and hadn’t got her,
he’d gone down himself, I’d hev had the
next best chance, and the advantage of heving him
outer the way. You see, you don’t understand
me I don’t think you did in Californy.”
“Then he did save her?”
“Of course. Don’t
you see she was all right. If he’d missed
her, I’d have chipped in. Thar warn’t
no sense in my doing his duty onless he failed.”
Somehow the story got out. The
Man from Solano as a butt became more popular than
ever, and of course received invitations to burlesque
receptions, and naturally met a great many people whom
otherwise he would not have seen. It was observed
also that his seven hundred dollars were steadily
growing, and that he seemed to be getting on in his
business. Certain California stocks which I had
seen quietly interred in the old days in the tombs
of their fathers were magically revived; and I remember,
as one who has seen a ghost, to have been shocked
as I looked over the quotations one morning to have
seen the ghostly face of the “Dead Beat Beach
Mining Co.,” rouged and plastered, looking out
from the columns of the morning paper. At last
a few people began to respect, or suspect, the Man
from Solano. At last, suspicion culminated with
this incident:
He had long expressed a wish to belong
to a certain “fash’n’ble” club,
and with a view of burlesque he was invited to visit
the club, where a series of ridiculous entertainments
were given him, winding up with a card party.
As I passed the steps of the club-house early next
morning, I overheard two or three members talking excitedly,
“He cleaned everybody out.”
“Why, he must have raked in nigh on $40,000.”
“Who?” I asked.
“The Man from Solano.”
As I turned away, one of the gentlemen,
a victim, noted for his sporting propensities, followed
me, and laying his hand on my shoulders, asked:
“Tell me fairly now. What
business did your friend follow in California?”
“He was a shepherd.”
“A what?”
“A shepherd. Tended his flocks on the
honey-scented hills of Solano.”
“Well, all I can say is, d n your
California pastorals!”