By way of Allchin, who knew all the
gossip of the neighbourhood, Warburton learnt that
his new competitor in trade was a man with five children
and a wife given to drink; he had been in business
in another part of London, and was suspected to have
removed with the hope that new surroundings might
help his wife to overcome her disastrous failing.
A very respectable man, people said; kind husband,
good father, honest dealer. But Allchin reported,
with a twinkle of the eye, that all his capital had
gone in the new start, and it was already clear that
his business did not thrive.
“We shall starve him out!”
cried the assistant, snapping his thumb and finger.
“And what’ll become of him then?”
asked Will.
“Oh, that’s for him to
think about,” replied Allchin. “Wouldn’t
he starve us, if he could, sir?”
And Warburton, brooding on this matter,
stood appalled at the ferocity of the struggle amid
which he lived, in which he had his part. Gone
was all his old enjoyment of the streets of London.
In looking back upon his mood of that earlier day,
he saw himself as an incredibly ignorant and careless
man; marvelled at the lightness of heart which had
enabled him to find amusement in rambling over this
vast slaughter-strewn field of battle. Picturesque,
forsooth! Where was its picturesqueness for that
struggling, soon-to-be-defeated tradesman, with his
tipsy wife, and band of children who looked to him
for bread? “And I myself am crushing the
man as surely as if I had my hand on his
gullet and my knee on his chest! Crush him I
must; otherwise, what becomes of that little home
down at St. Neots dear to me as his children
are to him. There’s no room for both of
us; he has come too near; he must pay the penalty
of his miscalculation. Is there not the workhouse
for such people?” And Will went about repeating
to himself. “There’s the workhouse don’t
I pay poor-rates? the workhouse is an admirable
institution.”
He lay awake many an hour of these
winter nights, seeing in vision his own life and the
life of man. He remembered the office in Little
Ailie Street; saw himself and Godfrey Sherwood sitting
together, talking, laughing, making a jest of their
effort to support a doomed house. Godfrey used
to repeat legends, sagas, stories of travel, as
though existence had not a care, or the possibility
of one; and he, in turn, talked about some bit of
London he had been exploring, showed an old map he
had picked up, an old volume of London topography.
The while, world-wide forces, the hunger-struggle
of nations, were shaking the roof above their heads.
Theoretically they knew it. But they could escape
in time; they had a cosy little corner preserved for
themselves, safe from these pestilent worries.
Fate has a grudge against the foolishly secure.
If he laughed now, it was in self-mockery.
The night of London, always rife with
mysterious sounds, spoke dreadfully to his straining
ear. He heard voices near and far, cries of pain
or of misery, shouts savage or bestial; over and through
all, that low, far-off rumble or roar, which never
for a moment ceases, the groan, as it seemed, of suffering
multitudes. There tripped before his dreaming
eyes a procession from the world of wealth and pleasure,
and the amazement with which he viewed it changed
of a sudden to fiery wrath; he tossed upon the bed,
uttered his rage in a loud exclamation, felt his heart
pierced with misery which brought him all but to tears.
Close upon astonishment and indignation followed dread.
Given health and strength, he might perhaps continue
to hold his own in this merciless conflict; perhaps,
only; but what if some accident, such as befalls this
man or that in every moment of time, threw him among
the weaklings? He saw his mother, in her age
and ill-health, reduced to the pittance of the poorest;
his sister going forth to earn her living; himself,
a helpless burden upon both. Nay, was there
not rat-poison to be purchased?
How he cried within himself how,
in the name of sense and mercy, is mankind content
to live on in such a world as this? By what devil
are they hunted, that, not only do they neglect the
means of solace suggested to every humane and rational
mind, but, the vast majority of them spend all their
strength and ingenuity in embittering the common lot?
Overwhelmed by the hateful unreason of it all, he felt
as though his brain reeled on the verge of madness.
Every day, and all the day long, the
shop, the counter. Had he chosen, he might have
taken a half-holiday, now and then; on certain days
Allchin was quite able, and abundantly willing, to
manage alone; but what was the use? To go to
a distance was merely to see with more distinctness
the squalor of his position. Never for a moment
was he tempted to abandon this work; he saw no hope
whatever of earning money in any other way, and money
he must needs earn, as long as he lived. But
the life weighed upon him with a burden such as he
had never imagined. Never had he understood before
what was meant by the sickening weariness of routine;
his fretfulness as a youth in the West Indies seemed
to him now inconceivable. His own master?
Why, he was the slave of every kitchen wench who came
into the shop to spend a penny; he trembled at the
thought of failing to please her, and so losing her
custom. The grocery odours, once pleasant to him,
had grown nauseating. And the ever repeated tasks,
the weighing, parcel making, string cutting; the parrot
phrases a thousand times repeated; the idiot bowing
and smiling how these things gnawed at his
nerves, till he quivered like a beaten horse.
He tried to console himself by thinking that things
were now at the worst; that he was subduing himself,
and would soon reach a happy, dull indifference; but
in truth it was with fear that he looked forward fear
of unknown possibilities in himself; fear that he
might sink yet more wretchedly in his own esteem.
For the worst part of his suffering
was self-scorn. When he embarked upon this strange
enterprise, he knew, or thought he knew, all the trials
to which he would be exposed, and not slight would
have been his indignation had any one ventured to
hint that his character might prove unequal to the
test. Sherwood’s letter had pleased him
so much, precisely because it praised his resolve
as courageous, manly. On manliness of spirit,
Will had always piqued himself; it was his pride that
he carried a heart equal to any lot imposed upon him
by duty. Yet little more than a twelvemonth of
shopkeeping had so undermined his pluck, enfeebled
his temper, that he could not regard himself in the
glass without shame. He tried to explain it by
failure of health. Assuredly his physical state
had for months been declining and the bad cold from
which he had recently suffered seemed to complete his
moral downfall. In this piercing and gloom-wrapped
month of February, coward thoughts continually beset
him. In his cold lodgings, in the cold streets,
in the draughts of the shop, he felt soul and body
shrink together, till he became as the meanest of
starveling hucksters.
Then something happened, which rescued
him for awhile from this haunting self. One night,
just at closing time a night of wild wind
and driven rain Mrs. Hopper came rushing
into the shop, her face a tale of woe. Warburton
learnt that her sister “Liza,” the ailing
girl whom he had befriended in his comfortable days,
had been seized with lung hemorrhage, and lay in a
lamentable state; the help of Mrs. Allchin was called
for, and any other that might be forthcoming.
Two years ago Will would have responded to such an
appeal as this with lavish generosity; now, though
the impulse of compassion blinded him for a moment
to his changed circumstances, he soon remembered that
his charity must be that of a poor man, of a debtor.
He paid for a cab, that the two women might speed
to their sister through the stormy night as quickly
as possible, and he promised to think of what could
be done for the invalid with the result
that he lost a night’s sleep in calculating
what sum he might spare. On the morrow came the
news he had expected; the doctor suggested Brompton
Hospital, if admission could be obtained; home treatment
at this time of the year, and in the patient’s
circumstances, was not likely to be of any good.
Warburton took the matter in hand, went about making
inquiries, found that there must necessarily be delay.
Right or wrong, he put his hand in his pocket, and
Mrs. Hopper was enabled to nurse her sister in a way
otherwise impossible. He visited the sick-room,
and for half an hour managed to talk as of old, in
the note of gallant sympathy and encouragement.
Let there be no stint of fire, of food, of anything
the doctor might advise. Meanwhile, he would
ask about other hospitals do everything
in his power. As indeed he did, with the result
that in a fortnight’s time, the sufferer was
admitted to an institution to which, for the nonce,
Warburton had become a subscriber.
He saw her doctor. “Not
much chance, I’m afraid. Of course, if she
were able to change climate that kind of
thing. But, under the circumstances ”
And through a whole Sunday morning
Will paced about his little sitting-room, not caring
to go forth, nor caring to read, caring for nothing
at all in a world so full of needless misery.
“Of course, if she were able to change climate ”
Yes, the accident of possessing money; a life to depend
upon that! In another station though,
as likely as not, with no moral superiority to justify
the privilege the sick woman would be guarded,
soothed, fortified by every expedient of science,
every resource of humanity. Chance to be poor,
and not only must you die when you need not, but must
die with the minimum of comfort, the extreme of bodily
and mental distress. This commonplace struck
so forcibly upon Will’s imagination, that it
was as a new discovery to him. He stood amazed,
bewildered as men of any thinking power
are wont to do when experience makes real to them the
truisms of life. A few coins, or pieces of printed
paper to signify all that! An explosion of angry
laughter broke the mood.
Pacing, pacing, back and fro in the
little room, for hour after hour, till his head whirled,
and his legs ached. Out of doors there was fitfully
glinting sunshine upon the wet roofs; a pale blue now
and then revealed amid the grey rack. Two years
ago he would have walked twenty miles on a day like
this, with eyes for nothing but the beauty and joy
of earth. Was he not he suddenly asked
himself a wiser man now than then?
Did he not see into the truth of things; whereas, formerly,
he had seen only the deceptive surface? There
should be some solace in this reflection, if he took
it well to heart.
Then his mind wandered away to Norbert
Franks, who at this moment was somewhere enjoying
himself. This afternoon he might be calling upon
the Crosses. Why should that thought be disagreeable?
It was, as he perceived, not for the first time.
If he pictured the artist chatting side by side with
Bertha Cross, something turned cold within him.
By the bye, it was rather a long time since he had
seen Miss Cross; her mother had been doing the shopping
lately. She might come, perhaps, one day this
week; the chance gave him something to look forward
to.
How often had he called himself a
fool for paying heed to Bertha Cross’s visits?