I do not propose to dwell at any length
upon the next ten or twelve years of Herminia Barton’s
life. An episode or two must suffice; and those
few told briefly.
She saw nothing of her family.
Relations had long been strained between them; now
they were ruptured. To the rest of the Bartons,
she was even as one dead; the sister and daughter’s
name was never pronounced among them. But once,
when little Dolores was about five years old, Herminia
happened to pass a church door in Marylebone, where
a red-lettered placard announced in bold type that
the Very Reverend the Dean of Dunwich would preach
there on Sunday. It flashed across her mind
that this was Sunday morning. An overpowering
desire to look on her father’s face once more she
had never seen her mother’s impelled
Herminia to enter those unwonted portals. The
Dean was in the pulpit. He looked stately and
dignified in his long white hair, a noticeable man,
tall and erect to the last, like a storm-beaten pine;
in spite of his threescore years and ten, his clear-cut
face shone thoughtful, and striking, and earnest as
ever. He was preaching from the text, “I
press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling.”
And he preached, as he always did, eloquently.
His river of speech flowed high between banks out
of sight of the multitude. There was such perfect
sincerity, such moral elevation in all he said, that
Herminia felt acutely, as she had often felt before,
the close likeness of fibre which united her to him,
in spite of extreme superficial differences of belief
and action. She felt it so much that when the
sermon was over she waited at the vestry door for her
father to emerge. She couldn’t let him
go away without making at least an effort to speak
with him.
When the Dean came out, a gentle smile
still playing upon his intellectual face, for
he was one of the few parsons who manage in their
old age to look neither sordid nor inane, he
saw standing by the vestry door a woman in a plain
black dress, like a widow of the people. She
held by the hand a curly-haired little girl of singularly
calm and innocent expression. The woman’s
dark hair waved gracefully on her high forehead, and
caught his attention. Her eyes were subtly sweet,
her mouth full of pathos. She pressed forward
to speak to him; the Dean, all benignity, bent his
head to listen.
“Father!” Herminia cried, looking up at
him.
The Dean started back. The woman
who thus addressed him was barely twenty-eight, she
might well have been forty; grief and hard life had
made her old before her time. Her face was haggard.
Beautiful as she still was, it was the beauty of
a broken heart, of a Mater Dolorosa, not
the roundfaced beauty of the fresh young girl who had
gone forth rejoicing some ten years earlier from the
Deanery at Dunwich to the lecture-rooms at Girton.
For a moment the Dean stared hard at her. Then
with a burst of recognition he uttered aghast the
one word “Herminia!”
“Father,” Herminia answered,
in a tremulous voice, “I have fought a good
fight; I have pressed toward the mark for the prize
of a high calling. And when I heard you preach,
I felt just this once, let come what come might, I
must step forth to tell you so.”
The Dean gazed at her with melting
eyes. Love and pity beamed strong in them.
“Have you come to repent, my child?” he
asked, with solemn insistence.
“Father,” Herminia made
answer, lingering lovingly on the word, “I have
nothing to repent of. I have striven hard to
do well, and have earned scant praise for it.
But I come to ask to-day for one grasp of your hand,
one word of your blessing. Father, father, kiss
me!”
The old man drew himself up to his
full height, with his silvery hair round his face.
Tears started to his eyes; his voice faltered.
But he repressed himself sternly. “No,
no, my child,” he answered. “My
poor old heart bleeds for you. But not till you
come with full proofs of penitence in your hands can
I ever receive you. I have prayed for you without
ceasing. God grant you may repent. Till
then, I command you, keep far away from me, and from
your untainted sisters.”
The child felt her mother’s
hand tremble quivering in her own, as she led her
from the church; but never a word did Herminia say,
lest her heart should break with it. As soon
as she was outside, little Dolly looked up at her.
(It had dwindled from Dolores to Dolly in real life
by this time; years bring these mitigations of our
first fierce outbursts.) “Who was that grand
old gentleman?” the child asked, in an awe-struck
voice.
And Herminia, clasping her daughter
to her breast, answered with a stifled sob, “That
was your grandpa, Dolly; that was my father, my father.”
The child put no more questions just
then as is the wont of children; but she treasured
up the incident for long in her heart, wondering much
to herself why, if her grandpa was so grand an old
gentleman, she and her mamma should have to live by
themselves in such scrubby little lodgings.
Also, why her grandpa, who looked so kind, should
refuse so severely to kiss her mammy.
It was the beginning of many doubts
and questionings to Dolores. A year later, the
Dean died suddenly. People said he might have
risen to be a bishop in his time, if it hadn’t
been for that unfortunate episode about his daughter
and young Merrick. Herminia was only once mentioned
in his will; and even then merely to implore the divine
forgiveness for her. She wept over that sadly.
She didn’t want the girls’ money, she was
better able to take care of herself than Elsie and
Ermyntrude; but it cut her to the quick that her father
should have quitted the world at last without one
word of reconciliation.
However, she went on working placidly
at her hack-work, and living for little Dolly.
Her one wish now was to make Dolly press toward the
mark for the prize of the high calling she herself
by mere accident had missed so narrowly. Her
own life was done; Alan’s death had made her
task impossible; but if Dolly could fill her place
for the sake of humanity, she would not regret it.
Enough for her to have martyred herself; she asked
no mercenary palm and crown of martyrdom.
And she was happy in her life; as
far as a certain tranquil sense of duty done could
make her, she was passively happy. Her kind of
journalism was so commonplace and so anonymous that
she was spared that worst insult of seeing her hack-work
publicly criticised as though it afforded some adequate
reflection of the mind that produced it, instead of
being merely an index of taste in the minds of those
for whose use it was intended. So she lived for
years, a machine for the production of articles and
reviews; and a devoted mother to little developing
Dolly.
On Dolly the hopes of half the world now centred.