On returning late in the evening Sonya
went to Natasha’s room, and to her surprise
found her still dressed and asleep on the sofa.
Open on the table, beside her lay Anatole’s
letter. Sonya picked it up and read it.
As she read she glanced at the sleeping
Natasha, trying to find in her face an explanation
of what she was reading, but did not find it.
Her face was calm, gentle, and happy. Clutching
her breast to keep herself from choking, Sonya, pale
and trembling with fear and agitation, sat down in
an armchair and burst into tears.
“How was it I noticed nothing?
How could it go so far? Can she have left off
loving Prince Andrew? And how could she let Kuragin
go to such lengths? He is a deceiver and a villain,
that’s plain! What will Nicholas, dear
noble Nicholas, do when he hears of it? So this
is the meaning of her excited, resolute, unnatural
look the day before yesterday, yesterday, and today,”
thought Sonya. “But it can’t be that
she loves him! She probably opened the letter
without knowing who it was from. Probably she
is offended by it. She could not do such a thing!”
Sonya wiped away her tears and went
up to Natasha, again scanning her face.
“Natasha!” she said, just audibly.
Natasha awoke and saw Sonya.
“Ah, you’re back?”
And with the decision and tenderness
that often come at the moment of awakening, she embraced
her friend, but noticing Sonya’s look of embarrassment,
her own face expressed confusion and suspicion.
“Sonya, you’ve read that letter?”
she demanded.
“Yes,” answered Sonya softly.
Natasha smiled rapturously.
“No, Sonya, I can’t any
longer!” she said. “I can’t
hide it from you any longer. You know, we love
one another! Sonya, darling, he writes...
Sonya...”
Sonya stared open-eyed at Natasha, unable to believe
her ears.
“And Bolkonski?” she asked.
“Ah, Sonya, if you only knew
how happy I am!” cried Natasha. “You
don’t know what love is....”
“But, Natasha, can that be all over?”
Natasha looked at Sonya with wide-open
eyes as if she could not grasp the question.
“Well, then, are you refusing Prince Andrew?”
said Sonya.
“Oh, you don’t understand
anything! Don’t talk nonsense, just listen!”
said Natasha, with momentary vexation.
“But I can’t believe it,”
insisted Sonya. “I don’t understand.
How is it you have loved a man for a whole year and
suddenly... Why, you have only seen him three
times! Natasha, I don’t believe you, you’re
joking! In three days to forget everything and
so...”
“Three days?” said Natasha.
“It seems to me I’ve loved him a hundred
years. It seems to me that I have never loved
anyone before. You can’t understand it....
Sonya, wait a bit, sit here,” and Natasha embraced
and kissed her.
“I had heard that it happens
like this, and you must have heard it too, but it’s
only now that I feel such love. It’s not
the same as before. As soon as I saw him I felt
he was my master and I his slave, and that I could
not help loving him. Yes, his slave! Whatever
he orders I shall do. You don’t understand
that. What can I do? What can I do, Sonya?”
cried Natasha with a happy yet frightened expression.
“But think what you are doing,”
cried Sonya. “I can’t leave it like
this. This secret correspondence... How could
you let him go so far?” she went on, with a
horror and disgust she could hardly conceal.
“I told you that I have no will,”
Natasha replied. “Why can’t you understand?
I love him!”
“Then I won’t let it come
to that... I shall tell!” cried Sonya,
bursting into tears.
“What do you mean? For
God’s sake... If you tell, you are my enemy!”
declared Natasha. “You want me to be miserable,
you want us to be separated....”
When she saw Natasha’s fright,
Sonya shed tears of shame and pity for her friend.
“But what has happened between
you?” she asked. “What has he said
to you? Why doesn’t he come to the house?”
Natasha did not answer her questions.
“For God’s sake, Sonya,
don’t tell anyone, don’t torture me,”
Natasha entreated. “Remember no one ought
to interfere in such matters! I have confided
in you....”
“But why this secrecy?
Why doesn’t he come to the house?” asked
Sonya. “Why doesn’t he openly ask
for your hand? You know Prince Andrew gave you
complete freedom if it is really so; but
I don’t believe it! Natasha, have you considered
what these secret reasons can be?”
Natasha looked at Sonya with astonishment.
Evidently this question presented itself to her mind
for the first time and she did not know how to answer
it.
“I don’t know what the
reasons are. But there must be reasons!”
Sonya sighed and shook her head incredulously.
“If there were reasons...” she began.
But Natasha, guessing her doubts, interrupted her
in alarm.
“Sonya, one can’t doubt
him! One can’t, one can’t! Don’t
you understand?” she cried.
“Does he love you?”
“Does he love me?” Natasha
repeated with a smile of pity at her friend’s
lack of comprehension. “Why, you have read
his letter and you have seen him.”
“But if he is dishonorable?”
“He! dishonorable? If you only knew!”
exclaimed Natasha.
“If he is an honorable man he
should either declare his intentions or cease seeing
you; and if you won’t do this, I will. I
will write to him, and I will tell Papa!” said
Sonya resolutely.
“But I can’t live without him!”
cried Natasha.
“Natasha, I don’t understand
you. And what are you saying! Think of your
father and of Nicholas.”
“I don’t want anyone,
I don’t love anyone but him. How dare you
say he is dishonorable? Don’t you know
that I love him?” screamed Natasha. “Go
away, Sonya! I don’t want to quarrel with
you, but go, for God’s sake go! You see
how I am suffering!” Natasha cried angrily, in
a voice of despair and repressed irritation.
Sonya burst into sobs and ran from the room.
Natasha went to the table and without
a moment’s reflection wrote that answer to Princess
Mary which she had been unable to write all the morning.
In this letter she said briefly that all their misunderstandings
were at an end; that availing herself of the magnanimity
of Prince Andrew who when he went abroad had given
her her freedom, she begged Princess Mary to forget
everything and forgive her if she had been to blame
toward her, but that she could not be his wife.
At that moment this all seemed quite easy, simple,
and clear to Natasha.
On Friday the Rostovs were to return
to the country, but on Wednesday the count went with
the prospective purchaser to his estate near Moscow.
On the day the count left, Sonya and
Natasha were invited to a big dinner party at the
Karagins’, and Marya Dmitrievna took them there.
At that party Natasha again met Anatole, and Sonya
noticed that she spoke to him, trying not to be overheard,
and that all through dinner she was more agitated
than ever. When they got home Natasha was the
first to begin the explanation Sonya expected.
“There, Sonya, you were talking
all sorts of nonsense about him,” Natasha began
in a mild voice such as children use when they wish
to be praised. “We have had an explanation
today.”
“Well, what happened? What
did he say? Natasha, how glad I am you’re
not angry with me! Tell me everything the
whole truth. What did he say?”
Natasha became thoughtful.
“Oh, Sonya, if you knew him
as I do! He said... He asked me what I had
promised Bolkonski. He was glad I was free to
refuse him.”
Sonya sighed sorrowfully.
“But you haven’t refused Bolkonski?”
said she.
“Perhaps I have. Perhaps
all is over between me and Bolkonski. Why do
you think so badly of me?”
“I don’t think anything, only I don’t
understand this...”
“Wait a bit, Sonya, you’ll
understand everything. You’ll see what a
man he is! Now don’t think badly of me
or of him. I don’t think badly of anyone:
I love and pity everybody. But what am I to do?”
Sonya did not succumb to the tender
tone Natasha used toward her. The more emotional
and ingratiating the expression of Natasha’s
face became, the more serious and stern grew Sonya’s.
“Natasha,” said she, “you
asked me not to speak to you, and I haven’t
spoken, but now you yourself have begun. I don’t
trust him, Natasha. Why this secrecy?”
“Again, again!” interrupted Natasha.
“Natasha, I am afraid for you!”
“Afraid of what?”
“I am afraid you’re going
to your ruin,” said Sonya resolutely, and was
herself horrified at what she had said.
Anger again showed in Natasha’s face.
“And I’ll go to my ruin,
I will, as soon as possible! It’s not your
business! It won’t be you, but I, who’ll
suffer. Leave me alone, leave me alone!
I hate you!”
“Natasha!” moaned Sonya, aghast.
“I hate you, I hate you!
You’re my enemy forever!” And Natasha ran
out of the room.
Natasha did not speak to Sonya again
and avoided her. With the same expression of
agitated surprise and guilt she went about the house,
taking up now one occupation, now another, and at once
abandoning them.
Hard as it was for Sonya, she watched
her friend and did not let her out of her sight.
The day before the count was to return,
Sonya noticed that Natasha sat by the drawingroom
window all the morning as if expecting something and
that she made a sign to an officer who drove past,
whom Sonya took to be Anatole.
Sonya began watching her friend still
more attentively and noticed that at dinner and all
that evening Natasha was in a strange and unnatural
state. She answered questions at random, began
sentences she did not finish, and laughed at everything.
After tea Sonya noticed a housemaid
at Natasha’s door timidly waiting to let her
pass. She let the girl go in, and then listening
at the door learned that another letter had been delivered.
Then suddenly it became clear to Sonya
that Natasha had some dreadful plan for that evening.
Sonya knocked at her door. Natasha did not let
her in.
“She will run away with him!”
thought Sonya. “She is capable of anything.
There was something particularly pathetic and resolute
in her face today. She cried as she said good-by
to Uncle,” Sonya remembered. “Yes,
that’s it, she means to elope with him, but what
am I to do?” thought she, recalling all the
signs that clearly indicated that Natasha had some
terrible intention. “The count is away.
What am I to do? Write to Kuragin demanding an
explanation? But what is there to oblige him
to reply? Write to Pierre, as Prince Andrew asked
me to in case of some misfortune?... But perhaps
she really has already refused Bolkonski she
sent a letter to Princess Mary yesterday. And
Uncle is away....” To tell Marya Dmitrievna
who had such faith in Natasha seemed to Sonya terrible.
“Well, anyway,” thought Sonya as she stood
in the dark passage, “now or never I must prove
that I remember the family’s goodness to me and
that I love Nicholas. Yes! If I don’t
sleep for three nights I’ll not leave this passage
and will hold her back by force and will and not let
the family be disgraced,” thought she.